I just wanted to post to everyone and say that I'm closing down this LiveJournal and creating another. I need a bit of a fresh start and a change. I'll be back though. My new journal is going to be friends only though so if you want to be carried over to my newest journal let me know asap before I delete this. I am not assuming anything from ( Read more... )

Goddamnit to hell. I should be writing my paper for Sociology.. but I can't. I'm about in tears right now and I'm not entirely sure I know why. I feel sick to my stomache and my head is spinning and I can't pinpoint why. I know the round-a-bouts... and thats about it. I stayed at J's again last night. I was at his appt and with him more than I ( Read more... )

Its kind of weird. I'm kinda really weird right now. my eating is practically non-existant and I love how I feel. Its great. Yesterday I had 4 ravioli's, 3 frenchfries, 2 small mini chocolate bars, and 1 smoothie. Today I had 1 smoothie, and some chicken fingers from BK that I couldn't get out of. And today my mom told me that I look like I'm ( Read more... )

AH! So today Meaghan harped on me about eating and my body image.. and them my mom harped on me and ACCUSED ME of burning myself cause I ACCIDENTLY burned myself with my flat iron the other day and it left a mark. "Well burning leaves a mark and hurts for a while.. so why not?" Thanks Mom. Thanks Meaghan. UGH! I'm in an UBER sour mood which is only ( Read more... )

why can't i be normal. why do i have to do this to myself and others. why can't i just go away forever and not have other people worry about me anymore. *sigh*... last post for the night. i swear. had a big talk with my mom about anorexia and my views of thinness. i just want to crawl into a hole and die.

I still feel like crap and Bio didn't help much. In bio we did our presentations, which mine went pretty well. anyways, the last girl that went up really got to me. Her presentation was on Anorexia and she based it on her personal experiences. She was anorexic 4 years ago when her parents were going through a divorce and she ended up in the ( Read more... )

I feel really crappy. I just wnat to go home and sleep all day.. maybe work on a paper or two and start studying for finals. I don't want to have classes. We should have the week before finals off so we can prepare. Its only fair.. but who in this world is fair. Tonight I have -HAVE- to write my History Book critque which should be fun cause i ( Read more... )

I know it sounds really bad and I don't mean for it to... but I was just reading through some of my ana-community journals and looking at all of their heights and weights and noticed that I seem to be a lot talled then most, but I'm still lighter. In a really bad way it makes me feel kind of good about myself. I'm not going back to the whole non- ( Read more... )

I don't know how I do it. I really don't. The weirdest thing happened. I'm over JJ's.. he's in the shower right now so I'm just hanging out in his room. But before he was tickling me and I was fighting back n waht not.. and the next thing I knew he was on top of my pinning both my arms down and grinning. I freaked. And I know I did. I didnt ( Read more... )

Uh.. I put this under a cut to save everything the long naggings of my brain. If you don't want to read you dont have to. But there are fun lyrics from Jekyll and Hyde for you to entertain yourself with.

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