Comments | fab_boy: I can't think of a title that isn't depressing or cliche

fab_boy

I can't think of a title that isn't depressing or cliche

Nov 20, 2006 22:18

Getting old(er) is the strangest thing. I think about it all the time. And not just the typical mourning of the passage of time and the gaining of wrinkles and weight and all that superficial stuff. Anyone who knows me knows that I am indeed concerned by these things. I'm an admitted narcissist ( Read more... )

Comments 19

emily_mortimer November 21 2006, 03:05:03 UTC

Oh sweet boy, this was so incredibly beautiful. I know how you feel. I think on these things quite a lot, especially since my dad isn't a young man anymore. The time and times have taken their toll, but it can't be said that my dad didn't live a grand life. Though it won't make me miss him anyless when he is lost to this world.

It would be intersting to hear... what other people might fancy hear at their funerals, only not really hear since they would be dead. But maybe they can still hear from the reaches beyond.

fab_boy November 21 2006, 03:35:57 UTC

Aw, thank you, baby. I appreciate you taking the time to read.

We're all getting there. Grown-up, but not ready for the kind of grown-up that happens when you're close to your parents and then you lose them. I know it's an inevitability, but I'll rail against it for as long as I can.

I think everyone fantasizes about their funeral sometimes. I always imagine it like they show it in the movies...you're all transparent and watching from the sidelines while your body is in the casket. And you can see and hear everything. Though I don't believe it actually works that way, of course.

It's just another narcissistic thing. You wonder about who will come, who will cry, how many magazine covers you'll get, and what kind of music should be played. I think about it a lot, but not in a morbid way, necessarily. It's just the last party you're ever going to throw, so in my opinion, it had better be damn good.

emily_mortimer November 21 2006, 03:48:25 UTC

Ohhh not reading would be doing one's self a disservice. Besides this is sort of the point of all this isn't it?

Gerry is probably a perfect example of being an adult but hardly grown up. Though his father seemed to have made it to his death bed still with his resistance to adulthood intact. I'll do everything I can to keep dad around for as long as possible, within reason. Not if he's hurting though you know.

Dad used to say i was in a rush to have the next dance with Death. I was a bit of a terror and puzzlement to him and mum. All I hope is that I leave a nice corpse. No matter what age, I hope that I'm presentable and not horrifying. Though I've often been told that you end up with the face you deserve, I hope I deserve something less that terrible!

I doubt I'll get any covers, or hardly any press unless I die some spectacularly scandalous death. I do actually think about it probably more often than normal, but then again...

Perhaps I'll post you a song tomorrow that I think might be a good funeral song.

teddythompson November 21 2006, 03:59:22 UTC

Anyone who knows me knows that I am indeed concerned by these things.Is it bad that I raised my hand there ( ... )

fab_boy November 21 2006, 16:09:42 UTC

It's not bad at all. I'd feel a bit miffed if you denied knowing me.

It's December 13th at Carnegie Hall. Are you still on tour then or can we wrangle you into playing? It's billed as "Family and Friends" after all. You're pretty much family, anyway.

It was brave of you to write about some of your troubles here. Especially what happened to you when you were so young.

I've been talking about it openly for a few years now, so it's all right. Every time I tell the story, the less hold it has over me and the less power my attacker has over my memories and my past. I didn't really mean to turn the post in that direction...it just seemed relevant in my thoughts concerning mortality. My first near-death experience. Kind of scary that I can I've had more than one.

(I can see you rolling your eyes and saying there is no such thing as too skinny! stop it!).That's not true. I'm still horrified by the pictures of myself around the time I entered and exited rehab. Remember that sad little beard I grew to hide how gaunt my face had become? That ( ... )

teddythompson December 2 2006, 05:47:32 UTC

Consider me there for the 13th. Especially since you got my Mum and Kami to show up. I can't quite refuse then, can I? Just kidding, you know I'd be there, performing or not.

Oh and I like the shirt.

butler_g November 21 2006, 19:24:03 UTC

Emily was right, I was daft not to have you added.

See...I told you it would be sad. But it's a cathartic kind of sad. I hope.

Of course I read that last bit as "But it's a CATHOLIC kind of sad."

fab_boy November 22 2006, 15:12:09 UTC

I should have added you ages ago, too, my dear. Emily does speak so highly of you.

Of course I read that last bit as "But it's a CATHOLIC kind of sad."

I think it works both ways, don't you think? ;)

misswainwright November 21 2006, 23:25:28 UTC

Oh Rufus, this made me cry. So if you think you're just being sappy, then it must be in the air. You know, the last year for me has been a whirlwind, and you've had a bit of relative peace and quiet, and when I heard about you and mum going to the opera together, it sent me on the same sort of thought path. Here I am, tromping around with my head up my own ass with the album and promotions and tour, and I thought about the two of you spending time together, and it broke my heart a bit. Because even though you know your loved ones won't be around forever, you try not to dwell on the idea, and when the reality of it finally sinks in that no one is here forever, it's a pretty devastating blow ( ... )

fab_boy November 22 2006, 15:09:10 UTC

Hey, tromping around with an album and promotions and a tour isn't sticking your head up your ass...it's having a career. It's what you've wanted and what you totally deserve, so don't kick yourself about it. Going to the opera with Mom only sounds so appealing because you've been a bit homesick, honey. If you were stuck living at home, spinning your wheels, you wouldn't feel the same way ( ... )

ryanjamesjarman November 23 2006, 14:15:40 UTC

This comment is a bit late because I've been so busy that I didn't have time to catch up with my friendspage, but I hope you don't mind. And this might also be the first comment I've left you, so hi, nice to meet you.

But anyway, I wanted to say that I loved reading this and a lot of what you said sounded so familiar to me. I'm still feeling immortal and I have ever since I can remember. I've been in many "accidents" that could have killed me and I never even blinked or given it much second thought, but slowly, it feels as if something is starting to settle in and I find myself thinking about life and the future and how I want to have one. My parents dying is something that scares the hell out of me, but just now when I read this entry I realised that it is indeed all about me and how I will be able to cope.

I'm downloading the song now, thank you. I love it when people put songs with their entries.