Im enjoying this grey cold weather here in Cleveland. Snow on the ground, a warm fire in the fire place. I got to roast marshmellows tonight with Zee, Loui and Tasha. I feel like a fucking new bride becoming aquainted with the new inlaws. Only, there is no wedding ring on my hand, Im not married, nor am I engaged. It was Tasha's idea to get a ( Read more... )

Fuck if i cant spell it right, I got one. SO MEH! I feel safe now. Its not a bullet kinda gun cuz Im not up to mentality to have bullets around me, but its a fucking powerful spring loaded pellet gun. My neighbors shattered window says so. Although I have NO IDEA how their window got broken. *innocent look ( Read more... )

So last night Joe, the ex, hits me up says he thinks i should get outta the house, clear my head and forget about my worries and strife. i tell him im not in the mood for drinks he says "Im not talking about that babe, im talking the open air, wind in your face, and a movie" I said I guess so and he shows up on his harley. A FUCKING HARLEY! IM ( Read more... )

We all are endangered species. There is only one of us. One of me, one of you, and when we die, there is no more. I wonder if I should put myself on the endangered species list. I've lost sight of my meaning in life. I've lost sight of those I care for. I wander throught days doing things I know I am supposed to do. Mechanically moving, ( Read more... )

When people drink, the truth comes out. My heart has just been broken once more. I can't take anymore. Im terrified, I'm tired, I'm exhausted, and I, I don't know anymore. God help me find serenity. I need to soon. I held onto Justin so long today, and he patted me on my head and asked if I was ok. I shook my head and he held me tighter. I' ( Read more... )

A few songs in my head today. Been in my head for the past few days. Went out with Jeff last night to drown our sorrows at Lucky Devils. His wife has a warrant out for him in Mexico, so he was/is stuck here in El Paso for awhile. His wife is a bitch, no one likes her. Im just depressed and we all know why, no need to be repetative and explain ( Read more... )

I realized alot today. When Jonathan was standing next to me and I reached over and hugged him. And I felt so much better. Slighty jaded towards things in life, not having someone to talk to, come home to, share my feelings with, no human interaction whatsoever, really brings me down. It's like, I feel that I don't need anyone to validate me as ( Read more... )

Right down to it the nitty gritty, I fucked up and I fucked up bad, and obviously so bad that Chris wont even talk to me now. Let me explain the situation so those who read know what's going on.
Chris, my GiC posted a blog that read and I quote:
"You know how everytime you are doing or getting into something new someone always shows up and ruins ( Read more... )

I sit here listening to Kizer and the rest of Ghotta Be Hood on ScrubRadio.com thinking. New York is just another state. I could go for that job and hopefully get it. If I got the job at Sirius Satellite, my life would drastically change. Its drastically changing right now. Nothing really matters tho. Chris, the one you all knew as my GiC is ( Read more... )

a call for help, a cry for attention, its all the same. isn't it? Frickin Mike bugging me and shit about stupid issues just so he can talk to me. Ugh. Im listening to Kizer and Breeze on internet radio right now. http://www.scrubradio.com/hiphop/index.php and they both ( Read more... )