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Lady, You Are the Moon
What I want you to know: You, my sweet dear sister, are the moon. Not in some woo-woo way, but intrinsically, viscerally, your blood and bones belong to this Earth in a way that men cannot understand ( Read more... ) -
back to back
There is only breath. Sometimes that's all I can do, lay on the floor and breathe and hope that I make it to the next one. Coping and Compensating ( Read more... ) -
Interlude.
It's done, I write. I can't call. The morning after, dried tissues and snot all over my pillow. I take my pudgy belly into the bathroom, looking at the girl's bags under her eyes. Why did she do that, her own saboteur? Again on the sidewalk outside of his house. Suddenly seeing how he never let her in, locked the gate behind himself, threw her to ( Read more... ) -
you took the fall for us..
His ellipses.. always. Unable to end the sentence, the night, the last beer.. up until the morning birds start singing, shivering in my robe on the back porch, like the Jesus palms against the starting sky. The quiet becomes us, we're better for it. I meet the morning in a new way with him; not rested and bushy tailed but marathon-runner beaten and ( Read more... ) -
I never
I ate my dinner alone today and I knew how it feels for my Grandma to eat alone every night. Wood paste tasting bread, the dryness of the day, lack of blood, making my tongue thick. Small seat, hunched shoulders, occupying only my little space on the couch. Netflix won't work and in the quiet I can feel how useless I've become. No wonder she has ( Read more... ) -
Gloria Anzaldua - Borderlands
“An addiction (a repetitious act) is a ritual to help one through a trying time; it's repetition safeguards the passage, it becomes one's talisman, one's touchstone. If it sticks around after having outlives its usefulness, we become “stuck” in it and it takes possession of us. But we need to be arrested. Some past experience or condition has ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Longing has its own secret future destination and its own seasonal emergence from within, a ripening from the core, a seed growing in our own bodies. It is as if we are put into relationship with an enormous distance inside us leading back to some unknown origin with its own secret timing indifferent to our wills, and gifted at the same time with ( Read more... ) -
Blue Heron dream
Hanuman-ji comes to me. He is trailing a long Blue Heron feather, dark blue and glistening opal. It's a gift for me. He holds my face and tells me he is proud of me, for teaching my friends and loved ones about the wilderness. To keep doing that. I want to keep the feather, I know that it can heal my father, help his knee heal, but Hanuman will ( Read more... ) -
Cranes
I dreamt of plants in the windowsill. Succulents. Small ones. I an up-righting them and putting small pots into less wobbly pots so they can stay standing. One is a cutting of an ivy, a small branch, sitting in dirt. Dry dirt, light brown, sandy ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
"A large part of the tragedy of codependency - the insidiously dysfunctional nature of the disease - is that by repeating the patterns we keep setting ourselves up to be abandoned and rejected. To feel betrayed by our own unworthiness. To reinforce the lie that we are inherently, and personally, shameful and unlovable ( Read more... )