god i wish i didn't care anymore

[fake_progress]

welp, to start things off, someone obviously knows my LJ password because yesterday, they deleted all my friends. and today i got on and my friends only message was gone. so yeah. happy happy joy joy

Comments

[seres]

Though I don't actually consider freak to be an insult, but maybe you just need a new change of some kind. I know that as my hair starts to grow out (I have thick, wavy brown hair that I usually shave super short), my self-esteem starts to go down because I don't feel as attractive. Perhaps trying a new look or doing something different will give you a new perspective of yourself and you can appreciate your own beauty.

On another note, screw other people. Don't worry about them or what they look like. I think sometimes to really "fit in" you need to "stand out" first. Be yourself, but be creative.

[fake_progress]

awr. thank you seres.

i love it when you comment to me because it makes me thing. i love the way you put your words together, because they just seem to have so much thought and perspective.

[tank_katie_mew]

Nikki, last school year i went through and incredibly long period of time where I felt that exact same way about myself. And even though it sounds corny, cheesey, and overdone: it doesn't matter how you look because anyone who knows you knows that you are an amazing person and that's what matters. I personally think you're way adorable and pretty, and I'd be in total shock if no one agreed with me.

As for the punk.goth.and.emo chicks, don't worry about how they look. Alot of them wear an incredible amount of makeup and put way too much money and time into how they look. And that especially aplies to the vast majority of the ones around here. And trust me, you don't want to be like that.

What you need to try to do right now (and this is wicked important) is surround yourself with people who make you happy. That'll definintly contribute to your "i <3 me"-ness. Trust me on that one.

[fake_progress]

wow. thanks katie. that means more than you'll know.

it's just.. i dont know. your words make me feel special and important etc. but words sometimes dont work. sometimes you need someone to show you that you're pretty. like a boyfriend.. which i have none of at this point. and that brings my level of self-esteem down like 50 points.

..it just hurts.

[tank_katie_mew]

well you *are* special and important and etc...... and quite honestly, i think it's more fun to be single. it especially will be when you hit a high in your life because you don't have to worry about making someone you care about disgustingly jealous... which is no fun.

[mebarak]

Nikki! I've told you a million times, you're hott! I love you so much and I hate it when people think lowly of themselves! So what if you're not happy with your body. So are the other 60 billion people on the planet! I'm not happy with my chest (it is very scrawny and caves in) or my complection (you don't even need to ask), but I've learned to be happy with what I'v got. Honestly, if "circumstances" were different, I'd totally go out with you. In my mind, it doesn't matter what the person looks like (you should see some of the people I've been with) it matters what's inside a person and how the person see themselves. If you see yourself in a bright, shiny light, than it won't matter how everyone else sees you. On the subject of your eyes, I love them. They're no too close, they're perfect. And the eyeliner, it looked hot last night. One more thing, I'm not "pitying" you or saying these things to make you feel better. I'm the type of person who tell sit like it is. I wouldn't be saying these things if I didn't fully, whole-heartedly

[fake_progress]

aw. wow james. i don't know what to say. somehow, you always seem to make me feel an ounce better about myself, even though your words are simple. it's not the complexity of the words said, it's the meaning behind them. and.. wow. heh, see? i told you i didn't know what to say. and about your chest.. i think your chest is cute (as oddly as that sounds) and i never did notice if it caved in or not. oh well. i think it's cute. but, back to the subject, thank you so much. i know it might seem that sometimes i write things like this in my journal to get pity etc. but i don't. i just write my feeling. *sigh* but thank you again. you're a true friend james, and i'm glad you and your mom have decided to stay here. i love you. <3

[ignorancepays]

dude, not cool! (about the password thing) you definitely need to change it. has it come down to the point where people have fun toying with other peoples things?

to whoever hacked into nikki's livejournal: grow up, and if you don't want to grow up, at least find something more productive to do!

[fake_progress]

haha i wouldn't doubt it if it was mark. he did ask pat for my nickname and he has done shit to my stuff before.

[warlikestar]

grow up nikki it wasnt me

stupid fucking sophomores

[pixiee]

Hey. We haven't really talked before, but I know you're one of Jimmy's friends.

And from your journal entry, I see we can thoroughly relate on the topic of looking too deeply into how you look. You can ask Jim, and he'll tell you how badly I used to and still do worry about how I look. But it's something we all go through, and I just wish we all couldn't and wouldn't care anymore. It'd make stuff so much simpler, right?

It sucks to be a teen. But at the same time, it so fun. Damn such drawbacks.

[fake_progress]

yeah. that's awesome that we ca relate. i <3 finding friends hehe.

but yeah i completely agree. things would be SO simpler. and when they say "teenage years are the best years of your life" it makes me thing. it's such a contradicting statement. because sometimes, as a teen, you can be having the best time of your life, then one thing can happen, or maybe for no aparent reason, you can turn and have one of the worst days yo'ull ever think you'll have. damn it's just so confusing. bah the teens.