"It's a lie. It's a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully, and...all the glittering assholes who appreciate art say it's beautiful because that's what they wanna see. But the people in the photos are sad, and alone... But the pictures make the world seem beautiful, so... the exhibition is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everyone ( Read more... )

Still Trying
A bundle of contradictions,
my life.

Pieces that I put togheter,
trying to
make
them
work.

Memories that I tried to,
restore remember,
rewrite.
Memories that I tried to,
cross out,  forget.

Without sucess.

Trying to make my life,
beautiful.
Or as beautifully,
as a puzzle can be mended,
togheter.

PointlessI have a story that ( Read more... )

.... here is the BS that comes to me ( Read more... )

Maybe it is because I am really worthless ( Read more... )

We are reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath and in it Esther says everything that I wanted to express but never found the words for it. People may label her as insane, but it makes so much sense to me. Everything does. What is the point of it all? The Big Question - what is the point of it all? I am just like Esther - being a slut, gaining ( Read more... )

I sit here, eating my morning cappuccino with a fruit salad, yogurt, and toast and truly enjoying myself. I love Sunday mornings. Maybe we don't have an idealistic family sunday morning, but - at the very least - I can make my own glamarous. Yesterday we had the "Ish Discussion Group" thing and I realized how all these IB people are lucky, amazing ( Read more... )

It is 8:05 AM and I am writing because I decided to only use internet in the morning - otherwise, I overuse it. I really should write more because I feel that my writing skills are decaying more and more everyday. Actually, it is I that am decaying more and more everyday. I can't seem to do anything right anymore. Not school, not grades, not ( Read more... )

I am browsing LB and I am noticing how all these artist get this attention for losing weight. That must be amazing. I know that this is horrible to say, but I am an attention whore indeed. I wish somebody would truly notice me and care about me and maybe even love me. Ish and I are were talking about gorgeous people. I wonder what it feels like to ( Read more... )

I woke up with an empty feeling in me. I hate saying this, because I always convince myself that I am the happiest person in the world, but I might be a little upset. Depressed? Maybe. And I don't even know why! I know that these moods hit me and it scares the shit out of me because of my mom being bipolar and everything. And everything is just so ( Read more... )

"Am I really going to reach the end of my life and think, 'Gee, I wish I'd spent more time dieting?' It's scary. Because probably I'll end up lying there and berating myself for putting all this energy into my goddamn weight when I could have-- you know, had a life."I don't know why, but I have been feeling very lonely and even depressed lately. It ( Read more... )