Today started out being the routine day in hell and only ended worse. So I got the real story about all the shit. It's nice to be promised everything that you've ever dreamed of, only to know that you were just a fling. I guess it doesn't pay to care. To tell someone that you love them and only to have them tear you into pieces. *"liz is cutting i ( Read more... )

Another day and yet the same thing. It's not getting better, but worse everyday. Sometimes I think I'm just being selfish for begging him to change his mind...but then again I don't know. I don't eat, I sleep when I come home, wake up later on to take my sleeping pills and cry until I fall asleep-and depending how I feel...I cut. I thought I wasn't ( Read more... )

I wish he needed me as much as I need him. I love him and always will-even if that means dying alone still wishing he'd come back. I'm lost...I really am. I really had something right for once...and I lost it. Waking up every morning...it isn't worth the disappointment when I realize it's all real. I love you Chris...please...don't leave me.

Looks like I fucked up for good this time:( I don't even know what to do anymore. Doesn't matter how hard I try I can't get away from myself. Sleeping seems to be the only way to get away from everything running through my head-but even that sometimes doesn't work. It still seems to find its way back in. I don't know anymore. I guess I'll just ( Read more... )

I've been feeling like shit since Tuesday-I've had the same fucking migraine andnot to mention the anxiety. I haven't went to school the past two days because it really seems pointless to-all I do is sleep in my classes because I can't sleep at night from all the anxiety. So today my grandma called bitching because I haven't been in school the past ( Read more... )

I got to see Chris today!!! That made me happy...times a million:) I played with my Photoshop again...and posted two new pics, nothing great and spectacular. But it keeps me occupied and wastes time. I really don't feel like posting about my day...it bores me and probably everyone else that reads this...if there are any. <3

I love you!

Yeah...idk anymore. I had another anxiety attack Tuesday night and have yet to feel any better. And everyday there's always something new to worry about to add upon all the rest. It just seems like insecurities are growing, anxiety is building, feeling sick is a daily routine, sleep is no longer an option, screwing things up is a habit, will is ( Read more... )

I dyed my hair...and did like it. Tonight's turning out to be another anxiety rollercoaster. Dad's high, Mindy's confused and stressed out and Chris is pissed off and I don't know why-he doesn't want to tell me. I don't know what I did wrong. It doesn't matter what I do I always seem to fuck up somehow and screw everything up. I really just want ( Read more... )

It's been awhile...but there hasn't really been anything worth posting. Pretty much same thing everyday...you'd get pretty bored reading about the same things everyday, now wouldn't you?-Things aren't really improving much, but a little. But being down and depressed leads me back to thoughts I'd temporarily forgotten. Not that they're all good and ( Read more... )

[.x.]My shadow is fading ( Read more... )