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[fallin_into_you]

I really honestly thought that I believed in God and now as the hours go by I question that more than ever. I'm so sick of hearing "God only takes the ones he loves." That's the biggest fucking bullshit I've ever heard. How many fucking people are going to die? Is it something in the air? Does "God" really hate this town that much that he has

Comments

[was_invisible]

i know you don't want to hear it, but that's really not a good way to look at things. and you can be as mad as you want at me for saying this, but i really don't think that anyone- eggy, bobby, david, julio, anthony, lou- would want you to feel the way you do or think the thoughts that you're trying to think. trust me on this one when i say that although at times i hate him so much, and even if you dont want to believe it, god knows what hes doing. someone told me this after anthony died that god's plan for us isn't death and that he's not trying to punish anyone in anyway. and you know, it is bullshit if someone tells you "god only takes the ones he loves" cause we'd all be dead then. we don't live in order to die. you dont have to think about this now, because everything is so crazy and frankly, unbelievable. but maybe in a couple of weeks you can read this again or something. i'm sorry. feel better.

[fallin_into_you]

i would never ever be mad at you for expressing your feelings. and although right now i don't know if i can agree with you i will think about this. when i told my friend today that i was questioning whether or not i believed in God she was taken back because I am such a religious person. i can't believe how strong you are. i can't imagine losing someone so close to me and helping others in a time of need. you are such a strong person and i admire you so much. i remember one entry you wrote about not being able to go to anthony's grace and you finally built up the courage to go[correct me if i'm wrong but i believe that was you]. i can't believe someone could be that strong. it's going to take me a long time to be able to hear sirens and not cry and think of bobby. tonight at the vigil i heard a lot of sirens and i wanted to scream out "bobby must be there" but i didn't. i'm sure everyone else was thinking that as well. thanks again for your comment, and i would never ever be mad at you.

dana

[resilient_me]

honestly, the last time i prayed to god was when i found out that lou was in the hospital in critical condition. i made up my mind then that nobody was listening. and still to this day i wished that i had never lost my faith, because having a cushion such as "he's in heaven right now getting all the things he loved" is very convenient for times such as right now. i don't believe in a heaven, but i believe in absence. absence of pain, absence of desire, absence of longing or sadness. bobby never showed it, but he did live in a great deal of pain. my only solace right now is that he is painfree. and he died in his sleep, and i hope he was having a fantastic dream

[fallin_into_you]

i love funeral ikos and i love you too. today at the vigil i was crying hysterically at first but after everyone spoke and everyone shared their incredible memories of bobby and kevin i couldn't help but smile. someone said to me i shouldn't be happy right now but i disagree. obviously i hated being at the vigil but i walked away so happy. i was so happy that everyone came together, all cliques aside. it was nice to hear everyone share the fun times they had with kevin and bobby. a lot of seniors were talking about cancelling prom but it's true when people say kevin and bobby would never want that. so many people feel guilty for smiling at a time like this but i think after everyone was together, holding hands, hugging, it made us feel that much better