::sigh:: I hate myself SO much. I just want to die, literally. I won't kill myself, but I'm just so frustrated with my body inside and out. I've been cutting and purging WAY too much (any is too much). This is hopeless. I can't recover yet, I'm not ready. Each time I do I just gain more weight (duh right?). I'm not underweight so I don't need to ( Read more... )

I'm back again, unfortunately.

Fasting 40 hours from 4:00 PM Saturday evening to 8:00 AM Monday morning.

I "binged" and did not purge intentionally. I probably had a normal amount of calories and only walked 4 miles plus my weights. I'm thinking of restricting tomorrow and walking 9 miles to make up for it. Grr to this disease.

I can't eat a bite of food or I'll eat and possibly purge everything in the house.

It feels like I've been eating so much. Tuesday I leave for IL and I'll be out of this environment for 9 days. I have a difficult time eating in front of others so I won't be eating much plus I'll be skiing so that'll burn some.

Havn't updated in a while. After Thanksgiving I fasted 3 days. I've been doing about 600 calories still on Monday and Tuesday. I'm doing about 400 tomorrow and then make it less each day until I'm fasting agian for a while. I want to be a certain weight in 4 weeks (wehn i see my sister) but i'll be VERY dissappointed if I don't reach it, so I'm not ( Read more... )

My dog is going to get really fat because I keep feeding her the food I put on my plate and don't eat :(

600 calories today, not bad, but not good either.

I have an obsessive personality, or so my mom calls it. The other day I ODed on diuretics, diet pills with stackers, and a cutting fest. I had a grand time (sarcastic).

To anyone that got an IM from me showing a link, DO NOT CLICK ON IT! Someone did and apparently they received a virus. This virus goes down your buddy list IMing those that are online and sends them this link. It's hard to sign off of your screen name too beacuse it's continuously popping up IM windows and it won't give you a chance to log off ( Read more... )