Transformers 2
I have been hoping that the new Transformers movie woud improve on the highly flawed but still entertaining first one. I just read a few reviews, and it looks like I'll be saving my money. Michael Bay wrote the thing himself during the WGA strike. This review I found is hilarious. After claiming that the movie has no plot, the reviewer
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a. It's 90 minutes of literally: Megan Fox porn and robot fights.
b. I am putting zero money towards the franchise as the first movie was a horrid disappointment.
c. They make a cut of the film that is straight up "Just the robots". I'd say "and plot" however, the first movie faild at story and plot more than misspelling "failed".
Michael Bay: I believe I can. We start... by making a big CG building and then we have a meteor go CROSSHH! and it, and it's all like CRAAWWWLL a-and motorcycles burst into flame while they jump over these helicopters, right?
General: No no! We need ideas how to stop the terrorists!
Michael Bay: An eighteen-wheeler spins out of control and it's all like BROSSHH And then this huuuge tanker full of dyna-
General: Those aren't ideas, those are special effects!
Michael Bay: I... don't understand the difference.
General: I know you don't. Get him out of here!
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"Free of the shackles of both Steven Spielberg's guiding hand and any even vague attempt at reality - 'Fallen' indulges Bay's excesses well past the point of reason to deliver the male teenage cinematic equivalent of snorting cocaine off a hooker's ass." ~ DarkHorizons.com
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But then, I went to go watch the awesome digital design... omg!
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expecting a solid plot from a michael bay movie is like expecting space aliens to pop out of the sun, teleport through your ass and then find out as they attempt to exit your ass that they are in fact, 50 foot tall martians now ripping you a new asshole.
it just wont happen.
catch it at a matinee in a few week, enjoy megan foxs ass, watch shit get blowed up real good and listen to the soothing tones of peter cullen.
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I ain't expecting cinema classique here... I went into the first movie expecting giant robots blowing $#!% up. I got exactly what I wanted, and was introduced to Megan Fox's smokin' self. What I want from the sequel is giant robots blowing even more $#!% up, and more of Megan Fox's smokin' self. Somehow I think I'll get what I want.
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i went into the first knowing im getting giant robots blowing shit up and the possibility of a story. he didnt write it, so it was possible. i got a glimmer of one and that was about it. and megan foxs ass and tits.
im going into the sequel to see more giant robots blowing shit up, seeing megans foxs ass and tits and to hear peter cullen as optimus. anything else i get out of it is a bonus.
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Bottom line, what I wanted was to see Optimus Prime Turn into a truck, then stand up into a robot, whoop a ton of ass, and then see Megon Fox. The rest of the movie could have been Robot Porn and I wouldn't have cared.
Consequently, my cares for the GI Joe movie are as follows, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow have a ninja sword fuck match, the rest canbe 90 mnutes of Dennis Quaid playing with this dick and I will be happy.
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