chapter two.

I say to myself--- sometimes, Clov, you must learn to suffer better than that if you want them to weary of punishing you--- one day. I say to myself--- sometimes, Clov, you must be better than that if you want them to let you go--- one day. But I feel too old, and too far, to form new habits. Good, it'll never end, I'll never go. (Pause.) Then one ( Read more... )

streamline & simplify.

reorganize & prioritize.

this time i will do it right. [or at least better.]

& look at me still, hand on hip, biting my lip, hanging out obsessively in the library.

"...but your DNA is saturated with him, because you care so much about his well-being..."

ist seven of your favorite songs of the moment in your journal and force seven other people [i am going to skip out on that part, if you want to tell me what you are listening to that is cool] to repeat this process or a puppy somewhere in the world will be sad ( Read more... )

"i am just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

my days are routine.
work late. [i never leave before 6]
come home, eat maybe.
apply for jobs.
soon i will be in the city.
[apparently they want to keep me? i can't stay. not right now.]
i don't want to disappoint
i don't want to hurt feelings
but i need to do this.

i am finding myself more and more on nights like this, when i just glimpse out the window and am blown away by the light. i grab my camera and run out of the apartment. flip flops flying down the stairs.

& all these cloudless days

sometimes my heart is just overwhelmed
by
beating
its syn co pa tion
echos in c a v e r n o u s expanses
left ventricle, left atrium,
rightventricle. rightatrium
in and out and
circulate
get the word out
starved for affection
thirsting for attention
make think say DO ( Read more... )