life is such a mystery to me right now.. i have no idea.. what life is.. huh... im really tripped out right now..

ok.. im sorry... thank you for showing concern for me.. it does mean a lot.. its just.. i cant be around you or consciece of you right now.. maybe at some point later on i will be able to.. but not now.. so please dont try.. when and if im able to then i will be in touch.. when that could be.. i dont know. but thats how it has to be for right now. ( Read more... )

im constantly trying to distract myself.. its been working.. and i am getting better.. but still.. why the F would you talk to me? please dont. i hope you see this.. cause if you dont talk to me i think ill be ok.. so please.. dont talk to me.. ill talk to you when and if i want to.. down the road.. but for now.. no fuckin way.. "we dont know what ( Read more... )

i am feeling a lot better.. im at a point where im just trying to understand what has happened.. and why? i mean.. can someone's feelings really change that drastically in a matter of weeks? do i still think i did the right thing? i dont know.. he's experiencing life.. and new people.. so maybe i did.. idk.. i still wish i could be there.. but its ( Read more... )

GOODNIGHT MOON!

ill be ok.. ive got good friends that are keepin me going.. thank you everyone.. without you i dont know where ide be right now.. so yeah.. thanks..

bad thoughts.. very bad thoughts.. be strong.. be strong brian! you can do this.. youve done it once before.. youll make it.. you can get through.. you know you can! just be strong.. make it through the day... just one more day.. one day at a time.. baby steps.. youre not going to die now.. not yet.. not because of this.. be strong.

any happy ending is waiting for me with this one.. he doesnt see.. ive blinded him... and ill regret it always..

we'll see how things go.. im preparing to let go of the situation.. but that doesnt mean ill give up hope.. i love him.. but if he thinks he has to do this.. then ok.. if it's meant to be.. like i think it is right now.. then we'll be together again.. until then.. we'll see.. = )

so hard to be strong.. but this feeling.. it wont go away.. i want to cry constantly.. im nautious.. i cant eat.. i dream.. i cant sleep.. im a wreck.. i did this myself.. i should have been there.. im an ass.. a stupid ass.. who wasnt there for his love when he was needed.. and now.. his love is not here for him.. who could blame him right? im ( Read more... )