Due to recent events, discussion, and revelations, I find myself being completely turned off by even the mention of anything that might commonly be assosciated with gay culture, behavior, or desire. Talking about muscles and dicks and hardons and bulges and hot pieces of ass just make me cringe. Even talk about rainbows, fag hags, fashion, shoes ( Read more... )

Jumbled thoughts twitch and squirm on the dirty floor of my inner self in a desperate attempt to put themselves back together, to make sense of themselves, to regain the meaning, importance, and implications they once possessed. I seem only to be able to watch, too caught up in my horror, disappointment, shock, awe, regret, disdain, dismay to do ( Read more... )

My eyes are drooping and my brain is hurting. I'm so tired, exhausted, sleepy I can barely stay awake. I'm afraid to go to sleep though. The night brings loneliness and heartache, and sleep brings the nightmares.

signed = faultytext

Jesus take the wheel ( Read more... )

Today is my last day as a teenager, and all i've been hoping for is that around this time, my birthday, I would somehow just miraculously feel happy, that I would somehow be able to feel free from all the pain I've been bearing lately ( Read more... )

You want simplicity. You want something thats easy. You want something to just work, but you're naive to think that it will always happen that way. At a certain point in life, relationships stop falling in your lap, and it comes time for you to start working for them. You have to scratch and claw and fight and vie for the love you believe in ( Read more... )

I wish that I could step outside of myself for just a moment so that I could quit looking at the world with eyes for you.

signed = faultytext

I don't know why, but whenever I'm feeling alone and scared, I always find myself turning back to you, even though you hurt me.

I don't want to be alone. I don't want to feel this fear. I can deal with pain much easier than those two things.

I just wish you would hold on a little longer everytime I reach out to hold your hand.

signed =

I feel like I owe you an explanation, and I've been meaning to give you one for a few days now. Of course, being that it is my spring break, I've been busy, and, on top of that, I've still been trying to figure out my thoughts and feelings on the situation.

Excerpt from dvrsionsstud's Lj entry i'm on cloud 9:

I mean, I’m sure (I hope to god) ( Read more... )

New layout. New haircut. Still working on the outlook, but it's coming.

Trying to make changes on the outside, on the inside. Trying to deal with the rather...un-pretty things that have been thrown in my face my way ( Read more... )