In clinical tests, Cowbell has proven to increase survival rates in 77% of trials over placebo, reducing incidences of madness and fever.  There is no known cure for Walken's Syndrome, but Cowbell can help manage the symptoms, so you can spend less time craving, and more time enjoying your life.

Cowbell should be taken twice daily, and is not to ( Read more... )

People wonder about the tree falling in a forest thing, re: sound.  Which when you consider Quantum's takes on the state(s) of things, is really tricky.  Observer effect says that it both made a noise and didn't make a noise until someone observes it.  Except, it is likely that if no one was around / set-up a recording device, no one could ever ( Read more... )

I just heard cannonfire outside.  Like, ka-boom and shockwaves into the gut.  Its a funny thing to hear in modern society.  I don't know what to be afraid of: a bomb going off or a pirate attack ( Read more... )

I am sick, but committed, you ungrateful bastards!  I will write, even if it is nonsensical.  In this, I will join the greats, like Dr. Seuss, and The Beatles ( Read more... )

Did anyone else head about the awesome thing our friends at Google are doing for us?  The amazing new invention they created specifically to answer your concerns?  Its Google DashboardTM ( Read more... )

Newton revolutionized the world, and all it took was death to get him to do it ( Read more... )

I love to sleep hours that confuse the average man ( Read more... )

LiveJournal is now owned by Russia.  Has been for some time, as near as I can tell.  The dread that sentence invokes speaks to our long history with each other.  If you told me that a Swedish corporation had purchased LJ, I wouldn't notice.  Under Russian rule, I fear squads showing up at my house, telling me that my precious posting was an afront ( Read more... )

The drink party is a gamble, that much he made clear.  When I combine Gushers and Yogurt and Applesauce and Skittles and Kiwi Strawberry, I are taking our lives in one hand, scissors in the other, and running towards our own extinction with a twinkle in my eye and a cackle on my lips.  Another year came and went, and I'm not dead yet.

Not for lack ( Read more... )

Is this really who I was?

The Internet, never forgetful, always watching.  Useful is a relative term.  I am prone to self-aggrandizing, a fact which you are aware as you are consuming my history.  In the act of creating in the past, I have humbled myself in the present.  What came before can so greatly align perception.  I wonder if ever now can ( Read more... )