The Hayley Williams fiasco.

[xx_rapunzel_xx]

Hey, I'm new here.

I'm assuming most of you know about the Hayley Williams situation that occurred last night - she took a topless photo of herself and accidentally posted it on Twitter.

Today, I posted my opinion on the whole thing on tumblr:

Comments

[xmorningxrosex]

You said: "I personally haven’t seen too much of it, and that’s good, but apparently there’s still a lot of slut-shaming going on

[xx_rapunzel_xx]

thanks for explaining this. i appreciate it!

[xx_rapunzel_xx]

yep. that second point was what really reached its hand out and slapped me across the face, because i didn't realize it. at all.

[virginia_fell]

- Assuming what I’ve heard is true, she’s had sex with her boyfriend, meaning that at some point he must’ve seen her boobs. Does he really have that bad a memory that she had to send a picture to remind him what her boobs look like? :P Unless she meant to send it to someone else, which would make things interesting, perhaps.Some couples like to do these exchanges. Lots of people do them without it turning into a media frenzy, because for whatever reason it's what they like to do. If it's not our business precisely what positions they like and when, it's not our business whether they have pictures of each other to enjoy during private alone time

[xx_rapunzel_xx]

i think i agree with you as well... i guess the point i was trying to make was that nude pics = bad because it can backfire on you, but yeah, i probably went a little too far. thanks for pointing this out. :)

[virginia_fell]

Thank you for posting.

[celticdaisy]

You say you haven't seen too much slut shaming, but then you go on to say: [i]"Both parties are at fault, but I don’t see how that makes her a slut. (I personally define “slut” as someone, a girl usually, who has sex with lots of people against her own desires and better judgment. Using this definition, I can’t confirm or deny that she is a “slut.” I don’t think all cheaters are “sluts” either, which people seem to subscribe to.)[/i

[xx_rapunzel_xx]

^ that's exactly what i'd like to do, and i'm glad you (and all the other commenters) are pointing out the faults in my argument. i'm very interested in educating myself more on feminism

[xmorningxrosex]

Other than the people involved, it's hard to know what happened in that situation.

Maybe the woman (or did you really mean "girl"?) had consensual sex with 5 men, and felt guilty/shamed/embarrassed so she lied to hide it and said she raped.

Or maybe the woman was raped by 5 guys, but then after threats by the guys or intimidated by the community or overwhelmed at the idea of pressing charges and going through the court process, she dropped the accusation of rape and instead is saying it was consensual in order for people to leave her alone.

In either case, she shouldn't be called a slut or promiscuous. In the first example above, it would only be fair to give her a derogatory name if all 5 men received it as well (but really, why do we need derogatory names for consensual sex?). In the second example, she's a survivor of rape, and being raped doesn't mean you're promiscuous.

[xmorningxrosex]

also - here's a good book to read if you're thinking about how you use "slut" against women:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060957409/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1888363940&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0GWNSKPZS4N3ZCHKZ419

[xx_rapunzel_xx]

hey, thanks for the recommendation. i was JUST in barnes and noble today - if you posted this earlier, i would've picked it up! i'm definitely going back there in a couple of weeks, though, so i'll be sure to check it out :)