I equate my current situation in life to a chess board, a game where pieces are constantly moving, warring, being removed and replaced. From the beginning I was on a side that I probably never should have been on. But the chessman themselves do not choose their color, so their was no controlling that ( Read more... )

I certainly don't mean the end of this journal. Far from it really, or so I think ( Read more... )

Nor the one I had expected to write, but I felt that on such a day as this, it was appropriate to comment. For those of you who have been living under a rock/in a drafty little cabin in the remote reaches of Siberia, today is Valentine's day. Essentially a Hallmark holiday, it is a day upon which couples celebrate the fact that are so by giving ( Read more... )

Some day maybe I'll learn better. But I'm not in a rush. Tonight I am afraid that I unintentionally hurt people. And I feel guilty. I probably shouldn't, because I'm not so sure it was really my fault, but nonetheless I feel remorse. I am happier than I was at the beginning of the week, just as I thought I would be. And yet now people who ( Read more... )

Last night, I, our party's versatile, charismatic, and generally fearless Red Mage, had quite the adventure. First of all, I would like to point out that through all of this I was suffering not only the after effects of the dreaded Heart Attack double-tech combo, but also those of "the plague" the mysterious airborne poison that seems to be making ( Read more... )

I really don't have anything of particular importance to say. I've been down all day, distracted and just not really feeling like myself. I suppose I'm a little bit sick, or getting sick, as my throat does hurt a just a tad. But that's a detail from my boring life, and such details don't belong here ( Read more... )

Sometimes, events will turn suddenly and make you realize that depressed as you may think you are, your life is wonderful and you have nothing to complain about. This is my case. My complaints are selfish and shallow, and easily assuaged. I really have no right to be upset ( Read more... )

I am blessed in so many ways, and in turn, happy. Never for a moment let it be thought that I am unhappy, for my life truly is a wonderful one. I think the safest way to put my current state, is to say that while I am indeed happy, I am not fulfilled in my happiness. That there is an important element which seems instrumental to my total ( Read more... )

I tend to consider myself a good friend, genuinely concerned with the happiness of those I care about. And when I can do something to help them in their pursuit of said state, well, I tend to do it. Honestly it makes me happy to see other people happy. To uncover the eternal cloud's equally infinite silver lining, smooth the edges when they get ( Read more... )

Oh dear. For a brief moment it looked as though I had escaped that cycle of odd and intriguing dreams, but no longer. The other day I thought I'd had a nightmare. Last night I did. Last night I had a dream which started off as the most fufilling and wonderful of dreams, and just as it reached the spectacular climax it veered off path, and tore ( Read more... )