FIC: I would have stayed up with you all night (Patrick/Pete)

[fianna_fialena]

So. Imagine the boys are on Warped. Yes? Imagine there’s a crazy fan with a gun. Yes?
(or alternate explanation: I saw this prompt on we_are_cities and I thought "So, Fia, you haven’t written anything angsty in a while...")

I would have stayed up with you all night
(4799 words) // PG-13? I'm not sure... :/
For December 19th, 06.
warning for angst and

Comments

[musictoyourlips]

Oh wow. The emotions in this are just so vivid and real and just. This is amazing. Your characterization of Pete's reaction was really well done. Lovely job.

[fianna_fialena]

Thank you! :D

[xcarex]

The only criticism that I really have for this is the huge gap in logic where the funeral is concerned. Why are they still on the bus? Why wouldn't they have flown Patrick's body home, and wrangled Pete onto a plane to Chicago?

[fianna_fialena]

Well, cos they actually are in Chicago. But, err, sometimes I do that thing where I forget that people don't have access to my head?

Sorry! I'll make an edit about it, thanks for pointing it out!

[fianna_fialena]

In case you're wondering, I hae rewritten and edited and shuffled some stuff. :) Hopefully it all makes more sense now. ^-^

[makealimb]

YOU HAVE ME CRYING RIGHT NOW, real tears rolling down my cheeks and OH GOD.
that was amazing. and heartbreaking. excuse me while i go cry some more.
*hugs you tight*

[fianna_fialena]

Awwww patty, i'm sorry, don't cry! *huuuugs* <33333333

[makealimb]

you made me cryyyyy. dont be sorry, i think thats a huge compliment to you, that your writing can cause that sort of response. i'll be okay, but yes, crying for this fic. im trying to cheer myself up with gabe saporta fic, ha. check my last post. ;)

[fianna_fialena]

♥

[neurotica_hello]

besides the automatic NO PATRICK IS NEVEREVERFUCKINGEVER ALLOWED TO DIE's rollicking around in my head, tis was amazing.

whatever happened to the fangirl? i hope they gave her a roman-esque punishment and threw her to the fans. i would have taken her heart.

O_O

patrick turns me vicious, rofl, i'm sorry.

[fianna_fialena]

Thanks! And agreed, thank god this is only fiction! :D

Arrested and thrown into jail, most likely.

Lol, don't be sorry, it's a perfectly acceptable reaction. *nod*

[elessar]

My only bit of crit, which has to do with what Caroline pointed out and you clarified, is that if this is in fact taking place in Chicago and they spent time on the tour, after Patrick was shot, wouldn't they go home rather than stick out on the bus? Besides Pete would need funeral clothes.

Otherwise this was fantastically written.

[fianna_fialena]

Yeah, I know, there's a bit of a hole in there we didn't notice. *sigh* Ah wellz.

I did actually imagine in to take place in Chicago, but I sort of didn't think about that. And it gets a bit confusing, no? *ponders*
I'm just wondering if I should rewrite or not.

Thanks for the crit! :D

[elessar]

Sometimes rewriting can make the fic come out even better than it was in the first place, so I say go for it if you want to :)

[fianna_fialena]

Et voila, I have changed some and added some, hopefully it all makes more sense now. :)