Cancellations

[newlywednicole]

Originally posted by newlywednicole at Cancellations
I get so tired of canceling things because I don't feel well. There used to be a time when I wouldn't cancel things so often, it was a rare occurrence, but lately I'm doing more canceling than *doing* because I feel so bad later in the day. I've talked to my therapist about it, and she agrees that its not good

Comments

[replyhazy]

I get so tired of canceling things because I don't feel well.

Wow, do I hear you there. I used to be the person everybody could rely on. Now I'm the person most likely to cancel. I've literally stopped making some kinds of commitments since the probability of my being able to meet them is so much lower.

It's depressing.

[newlywednicole]

Wow, its really good to hear of someone else having the same issue. It is definitely depressing.

[subgirl]

That really is for me, the hardest thing about chronic pain.

There aren't a lot of options except to try and learn your absolutes and know not to overcommit. For example I know I, with very few exceptions, will not do anything on Mondays or before 11am. I try to schedule anything before that. I also know later in the month things get harder to get to (no idea why) so I try and get them scheduled earlier in the month.

Also I joined a chronic pain support group and met a lot of people through it who really understand and we don't see each other much but we txt and email support and when we do try and make plans it's always with the understanding that it's never set in stone, that it can be cancelled or moved if it's a bad pain day or whatnot. Having friends who get it and don't judge and can give virtual hugs when things get too bad and the cancellations (and subsequent guilt) pile up.

Something I learned from the group too is that you have both a right and an obligation to take care of yourself and that includes saying no to things and

[newlywednicole]

Its a good idea to draw boundaries, unfortunately I am a flexible type person. Evenings are, for example, usually not good for me, but if I take it easy (AKA sleep) all day, then I will have some energy for certain things in the evenings. But, I think I also don't want to admit to myself that I go downhill as early as 3pm. That cuts off a lot of the day!

[melodystjames]

What -subgirl- said ..... about the guilt. Very well expressed

[newlywednicole]

Thank you for that, someone called me strong yesterday, a friend, and I just kind of pawned it off as not genuine, but I think it was.

Its hard to take care of ourselves first, at times, as a wife, sister, daughter etc. My family is very important to me but I am getting bogged down with photo shoots, which is also important but not like family. I guess I need to cool it a bit and take some time off.