It Had To Be You 1b
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It's awkward when he gets back to his dorm. Jensen is sitting on his bed -Jared has now dubbed it his usual spot- and he's... doing something with his laptop, not that Jared cares or anything. Sometimes it's just nice to know that the guy your rooming with isn't secretly an online terrorist. He slips his backpack off and slides onto his desk chair -which is very uncomfortable, like really- and starts rearranging things mostly out of habit. The silence is deafening, it's driving him insane second by second and Jared can feel the tension in the room increase by the moment. Jared just has to focus on something else, anything else really because he can only go so long before he loses it. He doesn't even remember why he's sitting at his desk anymore-- nope, now he does: homework.
Another downfall of being in college: homework on the first day.
Jared pulls out the requirement papers and goes through them, highlighting certain parts that need to be addressed and making notes in the margins. It's a bad habit of his now, annotating everything he reads. Jared blames high school, his sophomore year they really pushed annotating down their throats to the point where Jared thinks he might need an intervention. Jensen sighs angrily and Jared hears the swish of an eraser scrubbing at paper. Jared's really starting to rethink this whole 'you stay on your side, don't talk to me' thing he started. The silence is unbearable; it's like living in permanent white noise i.e Jared wants to kill himself. That's a fun thought, since he only started college several hours ago. Fuck it, Jared isn't going to deal with all this silence. Jared throws himself onto his bed and fishes his laptop out from under the bags littering his side of the room. He opens up a new document, pops his headphones in and cranks LMFAO out on high. It's going to be a long day.
College turns out to be pretty uneventful in the long run. Jared doesn't have to wake up before 9 on most days and he has lessons that don't make him want to bang his head against the wall. His Professors are entertaining, by far one of the only reasons why Jared isn't bored out of his skull during his classes. They make the classes interesting enough and are actually very animated -not as much as Professor Lauklen, but Jared doesn't think anyone can beat her at that- and the assignments are easy, considering. Jared so far only has two minor papers due in two weeks and a reading assignment he's sort of excited for. It's at times when he hears Sandy or Chad complain about their majors that he wonders if maybe he should buckle down and decide already. The thing is though, that Jared can't. Even after all the information classes he's gone to, even after all the pamphlets and meetings he's gone to there's something that always stops him. After awhile Jared just decided to give up and let things fall where they will. Obviously he has no control over how things in his life turn out, why try and pretend he does?
Jared spends a weekend at home like promised and it's probably the best thing that's happened to him so far. He goes fishing with his dad and messes with his kid sister who isn't exactly a kid anymore. They make dinner, have a movie marathon and go out to visit Sophia and Danneel, like Jared doesn't get enough of them already. It's nice to see his family again, nice to spend time with them and relax after weeks of torture. Not to mention that he can get his laundry done without fighting for machines and having to stay there and watch his clothes so nobody steals them. It's also a nice break from Jensen.
Not that he's particularly excited to bring up the subject, but there's just so much tension building up in that room that it was driving Jared to his limit. He couldn't stand it, couldn't stand having to stay in that room any longer than he had to. If anything, instead of making the situation more bearable the silence made it worse. Jensen never said a word, never looked in his direction and, after some observation, Jared is pretty certain that, save for the duct tape incident, Jensen hasn't once looked in his direction. Jared doesn't like to think about it.
"You do know that you're being a stubborn idiot right?" Jared looks up from his book and quirks an eyebrow in Sandy's direction.
"You do know that I don't care right? I'm pretty sure that was my whole point, what with the duct tape separating the room and all." The corner of her mouth twists in dissatisfaction and she throws her slipper at the back of his head. He's in the process of throwing it back at her when he notices just what exactly he's holding.
"Are these pig slippers?" He asks incredulously, although he really shouldn't be surprised. Ever since he showed her that picture he'd found of those little pigs are all covered in paint, she's been obsessed.
"Maybe." She snatches it right up out of his hand and he starts to laugh. He's not sure why this was so funny. It was adorable really.
"Where did you even find that?"
"At Walmart, they have everything." She flops back down on her bed and reaches for her phone, probably going to stare at that picture of the pigs again. He's never sending her even a remotely cute picture ever again.
Jared and Sandy have been hanging out a lot more than he thought they would and it's actually nice to talk to someone new. Jared hasn't been in the market to make new friends lately so he hadn't even tried, but he's thinking that maybe he should. There is this one girl in his Calc class that keeps trying to talk to him, he's pretty sure she's had her eye on the guy that sits across from them so Jared considers this safe territory. Maybe talking to people and socializing might not be that bad of an idea.
At any rate, his new friendship with Sandy is comfortable and easy in a way lots of things in his life haven't been lately. It's weird really, that he's so comfortable around someone he's barely met a few weeks ago, but she's amazing. Jared may love Chad in his own masochistic way but every once in awhile you really need to take a break from all that 'awesomeness'.
"Don't try and change the subject mister!" Jared rolls his eyes and lunges at her, his fingers digging into her side. Sandy has the loudest giggle fit yet and it's entertaining to watch her roll around clutching at her sides, trying to fight him off and protect herself from the onslaught at the same time. Once he lets up she smacks him with the pig slipper again and they head out to get dinner, the conversation long forgotten.
It's Wednesday when the shit hits the fan. Jared knew it would happen sooner or later but it still shocks him when it does, and so spectacularly too.
The week before, Professor Morgan had announced that they would be doing a project. It was a fairly simple assignment to take up the rest of the semester of their Introductory to Photography course. They had to create a collage that tells a story. It doesn't matter how they choose to portray it -Jared already overheard one girl say she was going to have her project be a fight between the food in her fridge. Jared doesn't even want to think about how she might accomplish that- just as long as the story is apparent. It can be fictional or an actual event in their lives. They would be getting partners for this and the list would go up online in a few days.
That morning, after he took a long and uneventful shower, -jerking off when there are at least five other guys in the showers is something Jared never wants to try ever again- Jared had spent an hour watching cartoons while Jensen was knocked out. At first he didn't pay any attention to him, a month sharing a room together in awkward silence more than enough to stop his wandering eyes -at least this early in the morning anyway- so he hadn't noticed Jensen until the commercials went on. It was funny really, and Jared couldn't help but grab his camera and take a picture. Jensen was twisted in the sheets, his head half covered by his pillow and his foot sticking out from between the covers, dangling off the bed.
After taking a few more different shots, Jared goes down to the common room and roots through the mini-fridge there. He finds one of those frozen folded bagels and pops it into that Allison girl's microwave. He eats it hot on the way back to his room, scuffling along the carpet to keep his feet warm in the morning cold. The morning was slow in its own right, Jensen was still (thankfully) passed out when Jared slipped back inside and the silence was no different than it normally was. In no time, Jared gets bored of Spongebob and pulls out his laptop to check his email, and that's when he finds it: the partner list.
It's in no particular order so Jared spends a minute scrolling through the list looking for his name. He really hopes he gets that one guy, what was his name, the point though is that he's pretty good in the class and Jared wouldn't mind working with someone else who knows what they're doing. He finds his name the second time around, somewhere in the middle, and the ice cold realization doesn't surprise him. He slams his laptop shut and glances over at the other bed.
Jared Padalecki --- Jensen Ackles
Jared slips into his running shoes and heads out. He runs for a long time, after a half hour passes by Jared always loses track of the time. He breathes evenly, in through his nose and out through his mouth as the rhythmic slap of his shoes against the pavement lulls him into a false sense of calm. It's the only way Jared knows to keep everything at bay, well he could get laid but it's too early to think about that right now what with him freaking out and all. That stupid professor has it out for him anyway, the second he stepped foot in that class he's probably made a pact with the devil to make Jared's time in his class unbearable.
He knows it's a long shot, but when Jared finds himself standing outside of the Art's Building he can't seem to help himself. He runs up the stairs, down the corridors and passing several open classrooms until he finds Professor Morgan's office. It's a long shot, but Jared has to try anyways. He knocks on the door, two quick raps, and is pushing is way inside right as the 'come in' echoes through the wood. He's sitting at his desk, shuffling through the assignments they turned in last week, reading glasses perched on his nose as he looks up at Jared from behind them. It's intimidating in a way, but then funny because it's like a Professor stereotype he's filling here.
"Yes Mr. Padalecki, is there a problem?" Oh yeah, right.
"Yes actually Mr. Morgan, is there any way I can get reassigned partners?" He raises his eyebrows and Jared would laugh really, because he looks so funny, but right now comic relief is the last thing on Jared's mind.
"Is there a good reason for this, Jared? I'm under the impression that I told the entire class last week that under no circumstances would any of you be allowed a reassignment." God dammit, Jared completely forgot about that.
"Yes, but sir-!"
"I'm sorry Mr. Padalecki, those were the conditions and you were made aware of them. You are just going to have to make do with your current situation." Hasn't that been the whole problem since the beginning of this whole crazy college debacle? Jared is tired of this, he needs to take a break.
He politely thanks his Professor and makes his way back to his dorm. When he makes it back this time, Jensen is sitting up in bed, awake. His hair is adorably rumpled and he has a few red lines on his cheek from the pillow, his shirt is twisted on him and he looks sleepily confused. He's the whole reason Jared's in this whole predicament in the first time and it's not out of the ordinary that Jared ignores him in favor of packing a quick overnight bag. It's time he paid his favorite aunties a visit.
"Not that I don't love you or anything Jared, but what are you doing here?" It's five o'clock in the evening and the sky is already dark, just a hint of the sun peeking out over the very edges and painting the streets in deep purples and golds. Sophia has a spatula in one hand, red sauce smeared across her cheek and she's already wearing her usual pink flannel pajama pants and tank top.
"Nice to see you too Soph, I'm doing good thanks."
"Always such a drama queen, get your ass in here." The first thing to know about Sophia is that she loves to cook but has no sense of cleanliness whatsoever. So it isn't a surprise when he follows her into the kitchen and sees wrappers everywhere, knives perched precariously on nearly every surface and splotches of sauce littering the counter. It's both scary and amazing to watch her work her way around cooking and the general disaster that follows in her wake.
Jared helps her find spices, hands her wooden spoons and neatly chops vegetables and meats alike. This was something that he missed, helping Sophia make magic with her bare hands. It's an old routine of theirs and Jared falls back into the smooth roll easily, effortlessly remembering the different names for dices and chops, the different terms to salt or pepper something. Jared grew up on this, is so used to being in the kitchen that it's become a second home to him, a calming place where he used to be able to escape into without effort.
"So, what college drama happened this time?" Sophia is stirring a large wooden spoon into a large pot, adding a dash here and there of the assortment of spices and herbs at her fingertips. She's angled towards him, one hand on her hips and her hair pulled back in a bandanna. This was the reason why he came here in the first place, Jared just has a feeling that maybe this was the wrong time.
"Jensen." The change is quick, her hand tightens its grip on the spoon ever so slightly and her mouth twists at the corner like Sandy's does when she's not happy with him.
"Let's have dinner first okay? Take a break from all the Jensen drama lately, yeah?" Jared pauses for a second, watches the tension build between her shoulders and he nods.
"Sure." They finish cooking in silence, it's different than the comfortable silence he's used to between them. It almost feels like the silence back at his dorm, with Jensen sitting across from him on his bed drawing, reading, writing, watching, creating. He's tense, always so tense, and Jared never noticed it before. He was so wrapped up in bitter silence that he didn't notice the set of Jensen's shoulders, the muscles pulled taut like he was ready for an attack at any second. For once, Jared feels sad, guilty because a part of him doesn't like seeing Jensen upset. A part of him still loves.
Jared slices the last carrot with all his strength, his muscles tensing as he hacks it in half. Now if he could just do that enough times to get rid of the weight that holds onto his chest, his shoulders, everything. Sophia cuts a look at him, notes the way he's holding the knife and she gently puts the spoon down.
"Jared honey, why don't you take a break. Go find Danneel and get her lazy ass over here." Jared knows a demand when he hears one, and this is something he's more than willing to accommodate. He sets the knife aside and heads down the hallway, pushing open their bedroom door and spotting Danneel laying sideways on the bed, her hair dangling over the edge as she flips through a magazine. She tosses it to the side when she spots him in the doorway, raising her eyebrow at him.
"What you doing here Sasquatch? Thought college life was all the rage these days with you kids."
"What, a guy can't visit his favorite aunties?" Her eyebrow stays up high and he quirks his lips.
"Okay, so I might be taking advantage of the fact that you have a fantastic washing machine and I ran out of quarters last week."
"I knew it, you're using us for our gorgeous machinery." She gasps dramatically and flips herself around, shaking her hair out as she stretches her arms.
"The almighty Queen Sophia has requested your presence in the royal dining hall." Jared says, British accent thick and clumsy on his tongue. His troubles are rewarded with an eye roll and a smack to his shoulder.
"Sophia, my love! Who is this peasant you have let into our quarters?" Danneel practically skips to the kitchen and then it's Jared turn to roll his eyes. His friend's are so weird.
By the time he makes it back into the dining room the table has been set and Danneel is balancing two bowls and a plate in her arms. Jared takes them from her and ignores her when she sticks her tongue out at him for his troubles. Once the food is on the table there is anything but silence filling the room. Danneel goes on about this new job of hers and barely eats anything because she's so busy waving her hands in the air. The food is great, as always, and when Jared tells Sophia she throws a small carrot at his head and laughs when it thunks him in the eye.
"I see how appreciated I am around here." Jared says, dodging another carrot from Danneel's direction.
"We appreciate you Jared! How else could we see at night if you didn't change our lightbulbs?"
"Oh, nice Danni thanks. That's the last time I ever do anything nice for you two."
"Hey, why're you dragging me into this?" Sophia asks, throwing a pea at him in indignation.
"You're her girlfriend, you're involved by association." Sophia pauses for a second, putting her fork down and turning towards Danneel.
"We've had a good run Danneel but I think it's time we went our separate ways, see other people." She doesn't last long before she dissolves into laughter and Jared takes advantage of the opportunity to throw peas at her. Several get stuck in her hair and Jared raises his hands in triumph as she struggles to find them all.
"Okay that's it, no more food for you. You're wasting it all and I am cutting you off. You too Danni, you're just as bad as he is!"
"Hey! I'm your girlfriend, aren't you supposed to cut me some slack?" She pouts as her plate is ripped from her hands and she looks despondently up at Sophia.
"Oh no, you messed with my food. Girlfriend privileges don't apply anymore." They clear off the table and Sophia starts to pile the leftovers into containers. Jared is scrubbing at one of the pots when he feels Danneel tap his shoulder.
"So, why are you really here Jay?" Jared pauses a few seconds, glancing at Danneel before he continues scrubbing.
"What do you mean, Danni? I wanted to take a break from the 'college life', sleep is nice every once in awhile you know."
"It's Jensen." The 'again' goes unsaid but they all know it's there, ringing heavy in all of their ears. Jared ducks his head and scrubs harder, ignoring the stares he feels clawing at his back. Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea after all.
"What happened now, Jay?" He flinches. Jared doesn't want to have this conversation anymore, it feels like all the air is closing in around him and his lungs won't open up to it all. Jared pictures Jensen, sitting crossed legged on his bed or the floor as he draws another picture.
"Remember that project for my Photography class? The one that's worth half our grade?" Jared rinses off the plate and grabs another off the counter.
"Yeah... what's this about Jared?" She's wary and Jared would be too if he were her. Hell, he *is wary.
"The partner list went up this morning." He waits, rinses off the last dish and turns off the water. When he turns around he doesn't see Sophia anywhere in sight. That's not a good sign.
"Oh. Oh!" Her eyes widen in understanding and she shakes her head incredulously. Jared isn't sure what he was expecting, sympathy, shock, or what, but what he really wasn't expecting was her lack of response. For awhile they just stand there in dead silence, nobody says a word and there's that dreaded tension that likes to follow him everywhere. It's unbearable and Jared is just done with all the silence, if he has to endure one more he's going to go insane and drive off a bridge or something equally dramatic.
"Jared, sweetie... I think this is enough, you know?" He turns toward her, confused to all hell about what she's talking about and not knowing how to follow that up with anything resembling a reply.
"What do you mean Danni?"
"I just mean, you've done enough. You've had your rebound period that seemed to never end. You've had the acceptable time to be bitter and at first it was horrible and you totally had the right to bitch about this whole mess but after awhile you just lost it. I'm telling you this because I love you Jay, and what I'm saying is that you need to stop being stubborn, go back to your dorm, and talk to him. It's not going to kill you. Yeah, he was a jackass and he deserved the shit you did to him in retaliation, but now? Now he deserves to be heard, and you need to listen to what he has to say."
When Jared makes it back to Texas Tropes University it is 9:30 at night and he's exhausted.
"...you need to stop being stubborn, go back to your dorm, and talk to him. It's not going to kill you."
Jared thinks it might just kill him. He doesn't know if he has the balls to do this, it seems so simple and stupid, but it's true and Jared can't help that no matter how much he wishes he could. This isn't something he can fix with one conversation, it isn’t something *anybody could fix in just one go and he's pretty sure trying would just be a futile attempt at the impossible.
"Now he deserves to be heard, and you need to listen to what he has to say."
Jared slides the key out of the door and walks in. Jensen is laying sideways on his bed, his head dangling off the edge and his feet are propped up against the wall. He's playing a video game, not something Jared recognizes, and he has his tongue held neatly between his teeth. It's cute. Jared has to admit that. If he's going to start this whole 'being friendly' thing, he's going to have to accept that he has residual feelings left over. That's totally it and he is sticking with that story, its the only one he can accept.
"Hey." It's weird to hear a voice that isn't coming from the TV in their room. It's scary, something foreign and unpredictable. It's a relief Jared didn't know he needed. Jensen pauses the game and looks up at him, raises an eyebrow and pushes his glasses back up with the tip of his finger.
"Oh, are we not not talking now? I'm pretty sure that goes against the whole 'I don't care what you have to say' rule.” The sarcasm rolls off of Jensen's tongue like thick sweet honey and it soothes the tears inside of Jared he didn't know he had.
"Ass. Here I was trying to be nice and you have to go ruin the awesome moment by being a douchey douche that ever douched."
"Oh yeah Jay, 'cause I was the one that went and killed an entire roll of my duct tape trying to separate the room like a pouty four year old with a vendetta." Jensen turns off the TV and turns his head towards his general direction. Jared kind of wants to tell Jensen to save his game first.
"See, moment killed. It's dead, you killed it. Hope you're happy, moment killer." Jared kicks off his shoes and shoves them where bed meets floor. He plops down on the beanbag sitting in the middle of the room and wiggles his butt until he gets comfortable, Chad dropped it off a few days ago and Jared has taken full advantage of it ever since.
"I think the moment died when you killed my duct tape." Jensen folds his arms under his head and stares down at him, biceps bulging out of his tight nerdy little Lord of the Rings shirt. Jared feels small and too big all at once.
"What is it with you and the duct tape? I would have bought another one if I knew how much you were going to bitch about it." A group of girls pass by just outside their door if the muffled high pitched giggles mean anything. Jared shifts -beanbags really aren't all that comfortable after the first ten minutes- and pats his pocket, double checking that he has his phone and keys. He's always losing them.
"Hey, that was an awesome roll of duct tape! He was my friend, and you killed him. You are guilty of murder."
"Dude, when did we start talking about the tape like it was an actual person?"
"When you killed it." His laugh is shocked out of him, it's loud and sharp and rings in Jared's ears like an infinite echo. His lips betray him in the moment, twitching up into a fond smile he can't help but beam up at Jensen. Once he starts it's a bit hard to stop, his smile growing wider and his dimples deepening his cheeks.
"God, I've missed your laugh so much." The laughter dies out as suddenly as it started and Jared stares up where Jensen has an arm thrown over his face, hiding his eyes from this angle. Jared has the sudden urge to see, see what color those eyes are now, see the blush that starts to spread down Jensen's chest. He wants to see everything.
"So we're project partners." Jared says, changing the subject and ignoring the thump of his heart against his rib cage pounding again and again in perfect harmony The frown on Jensen's face lightens, lips twitching upward. Jared can practically *feel his blood start to boil and move faster throughout his body.
"Oh is that why you've decided to start talking to me? I thought you were losing your marbles, such a shame. I was hoping to expand the room."
"Thanks Jensen, I'm feeling the solidarity here."
"This is college Jared. Didn't you hear, solidarity is so last year." Jensen has the most ridiculous French accent
Jared has ever heard. It is the farthest thing from cute, just like the wrinkle of his nose as he moves his arm to the side to stare back at Jared, is that farthest from adorable he's ever seen.
"Fine, here I am trying to be all productive and helpful. You know who to blame when we get a D."
"Okay okay, what ideas do we have, all knowing one?" Jensen props his chin in the palm of his hand, his head tilted to the right.
"Well, okay so I was thinking something along the lines of nonfictional, something personal that most people can relate to. I want the board to connect, the pictures to be simple but expand into this story that has different webs of truth, you know?" Jensen stares at him, just stares, he looks like he's barely breathing. Jared doesn't understand the look he sees in Jensen eyes, doesn't understand the little twitch his fingers do before he flips himself over and shoves his face at his pillow.
"Idea; we both work on different boards these next few weeks and we'll compare notes on it later alright? Now that this is over." His voice is muffled, barely carrying across the room to the point where Jared has to lean in to hear him right. It's like they're oceans apart until Jensen peeks up at him from behind the pillow. His lips twitch just slightly, so fast that Jared barely catches it before Jensen turns away and snuggles under his blanket.
Today has been the weirdest day of college so far, and that's saying a lot, considering.
"No, see you have to be careful when you're subtracting fractions, especially when negative numbers are involved.
In this case the result of 1/3 - 1 is 1/3 - 3/3 = (1-3)/3 = -2/3."
"Okay, see how is that even English? I give up, obviously math hates me. I vote that we burn this insanity now and I play Madden." Jared ignores the heat from Jensen's body all along his side. He ignores the thump of a heart he doesn't even know which body comes from anymore. He looks up at Jensen, puppy eyes on full throttle, small pout already forming on his lips. Jensen even starts to react, his face softening a fracton and is eyes so many soft colors woven together, but then it changes and he smirks, pointing back to the top of problem #3.
"Nope. From the beginning." Jared groans.
"You're a sadist." he says, picking his pencil back up and starting from the top.
"What tipped you off?"
"How do you get kicked out of Hometown Buffet? Tell me Jay, how does that even happen?" Jensen throws his keys on his desk and folds his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow at Jared.
"All you can eat, Jensen! The sign says 'all you can eat'! How was I supposed to know that was false
advertisement?" Jensen shakes his head and wiggles out of his sweater. Jared locks the door and watches the sliver of skin before it disappears under Jensen's shirt. Jared busies himself with emptying his pockets.
"Half of the food was gone and you hadn't even gone for seconds yet! Jared, even *I'm surprised you haven't
exploded by now."
"Hey, I'm a growing boy! I need my nutrition."
"Growing into what, an alien? No normal person can eat that much and still be alive!" Jared glares at Jensen and sticks his tongue out.
"Remind me why I'm talking to you, again?" Jared says, and he feels the change before Jensen whispers back at him, cold and serious.
"Why don't you tell me." Jared looks up and Jensen looks away. That tension Jared thought he was free from fills the room slow as molasses, he can feel it itching at his skin. Jared scratches at his arm and toes at the ground.
"When I know, I'll tell you."
They don't talk the rest of that night.
"Jay, did you want pineapple on the pizza or does that say 'no anchovies'... what they hell is this?" Jared looks up from his laptop and watches Jensen as he squints at the paper and tries to mouth out the words he can't read. He pushes his glasses back up and traces his finger along the line of words.
"It says triple cheese+pineapple, learn how to read."
"Learn how to write, asshole. Nobody can read this chicken scratch!" Jensen throws it at the trash can and misses by a long shot. He glares at Jared, daring him to say anything about his epic fail. Jensen picks his screwdriver back up and starts messing with Jared's PS3 again. The only reason Jared hasn't thrown a hissy fit yet is because Jensen is a nerd that does shit like this for fun so he has an idea of what he's doing. Jared hopes so anyway.
"Apparently x doesn't equal 52. Fuck x, I never liked him anyway." Jared glares down at the paper and imagines it bursting into flames. The stupid tutorial did nothing but confuse him even more.
"Making enemies with letters. Looks like I'll be expanding my side of the room any day now."Jensen cusses softly and shakes out his hand, the screwdriver going flying and landing by the door.
"What are you doing to my baby?"
"You're baby just bit me." Jensen says, glaring at Jared's game system like it's literally going to come to life and bite him.
"Is the machine okay?"
"Well, yeah but-"
"Then I don't care." Jared rolls over and tries to kick off his shoes. The laces are fused to his feet or something because they really don't want to come off.
"Asshat." Jensen starts to suck at the meat of his palm, his face flushed slightly with pain. Jared pulls his phone out and goes through imaginary txts.
"You know it."
"Pizza or Chinese tonight, Jay?"
"Chinese!!" Jared shoots off another guys head and cackles in manic glee. He loves this game.
"Fung's Kitchen? Yeah, it's Jensen Ackles." Jared shoots, the guy blows up. Chunks fly everywhere.
"Gross man, how can you watch that when we're going to eat? Sorry. I'll have the potstickers, chicken chow mein, and beef with broccoli. No thanks, he hates sweet and sour sauce... alright thanks." Jared hacks another zombie head off and it goes flying.
"Food'll be here in twenty." Jared ignores the fact that the last time they ate Chinese food together was almost a year ago.
Jensen is drawing again when Jared gets back from his calculus class. He's been doing a lot more of that lately and Jared's starting to wonder what it is he's drawing exactly, but he has a feeling he doesn't want to know. Jared tosses his bag somewhere near his bed and looks around all the mess for his computer.
"It's on your desk, stupid." Jared looks up from the laundry pile and glances toward his desk. Huh, go figure.
"Stop touching my shit." There's no heat behind it anymore, in fact it's as close to Chad's way of saying thank you then Jared has ever been before. That's kind of scary, he should stop hanging out with Chad so much it's probably the little bastards plan to turn Jared into a Chad-clone. It may sound ridiculous but, knowing Chad, it's best to think of all the possibilities. Jared settles down on the beanbag and crosses his legs at the ankle. It's cold in here, Jared should really try and remember to close the window before he goes to sleep or he's going to wake up shivering again.
He's not really paying attention to the screen if he's being honest, he didn't have any new messages and he got bored after that. He ends up staring at Jensen from the safety of his computer screen, yeah he knows how big of a shocker that is. Lately, Jensen-staring has become something Jared can't seem to avoid at any and all costs.
He would know, he's tried to distract himself but it never works for long.
His favorite time is when Jensen is drawing, his face stuck in deep concentration as he twists his wrist at just the right angle. Jared has the sudden urge to touch that hand, to trace the lines and draw his own pictures along his palm. The urge is so strong that Jared has to sit on his hands and tighten the muscles in his legs to stop himself from doing something stupid. This is insanity, it really is. Jared doesn't even know what his fascination is, it's not like hands are really remarkable or anything, at least not to stare at.
But Jensen's hands just... are. His hands are wide and rough from working construction and helping at his dad's shop, but they're delicate. His fingers are slim and nimble, easy to dance around the page he's filling in with lines and shades. Jared wants to trace along those lines on his palm, wants to feel the warmth and soft skin catch on thin calluses spread out evenly. His nails are short, a little rough around the edges because Jensen bites them when he's nervous or bored. Jared wants to touch those hands but he can't and it's killing him, wearing him down on the inside.
His computer beeps with a new message and he looks back down at the screen. He thinks he sees Jensen glance up at him, that same look of concentration on his face, but when Jared looks back up Jensen is still drawing, oblivious to the world.
On to the next part.
It's awkward when he gets back to his dorm. Jensen is sitting on his bed -Jared has now dubbed it his usual spot- and he's... doing something with his laptop, not that Jared cares or anything. Sometimes it's just nice to know that the guy your rooming with isn't secretly an online terrorist. He slips his backpack off and slides onto his desk chair -which is very uncomfortable, like really- and starts rearranging things mostly out of habit. The silence is deafening, it's driving him insane second by second and Jared can feel the tension in the room increase by the moment. Jared just has to focus on something else, anything else really because he can only go so long before he loses it. He doesn't even remember why he's sitting at his desk anymore-- nope, now he does: homework.
Another downfall of being in college: homework on the first day.
Jared pulls out the requirement papers and goes through them, highlighting certain parts that need to be addressed and making notes in the margins. It's a bad habit of his now, annotating everything he reads. Jared blames high school, his sophomore year they really pushed annotating down their throats to the point where Jared thinks he might need an intervention. Jensen sighs angrily and Jared hears the swish of an eraser scrubbing at paper. Jared's really starting to rethink this whole 'you stay on your side, don't talk to me' thing he started. The silence is unbearable; it's like living in permanent white noise i.e Jared wants to kill himself. That's a fun thought, since he only started college several hours ago. Fuck it, Jared isn't going to deal with all this silence. Jared throws himself onto his bed and fishes his laptop out from under the bags littering his side of the room. He opens up a new document, pops his headphones in and cranks LMFAO out on high. It's going to be a long day.
College turns out to be pretty uneventful in the long run. Jared doesn't have to wake up before 9 on most days and he has lessons that don't make him want to bang his head against the wall. His Professors are entertaining, by far one of the only reasons why Jared isn't bored out of his skull during his classes. They make the classes interesting enough and are actually very animated -not as much as Professor Lauklen, but Jared doesn't think anyone can beat her at that- and the assignments are easy, considering. Jared so far only has two minor papers due in two weeks and a reading assignment he's sort of excited for. It's at times when he hears Sandy or Chad complain about their majors that he wonders if maybe he should buckle down and decide already. The thing is though, that Jared can't. Even after all the information classes he's gone to, even after all the pamphlets and meetings he's gone to there's something that always stops him. After awhile Jared just decided to give up and let things fall where they will. Obviously he has no control over how things in his life turn out, why try and pretend he does?
Jared spends a weekend at home like promised and it's probably the best thing that's happened to him so far. He goes fishing with his dad and messes with his kid sister who isn't exactly a kid anymore. They make dinner, have a movie marathon and go out to visit Sophia and Danneel, like Jared doesn't get enough of them already. It's nice to see his family again, nice to spend time with them and relax after weeks of torture. Not to mention that he can get his laundry done without fighting for machines and having to stay there and watch his clothes so nobody steals them. It's also a nice break from Jensen.
Not that he's particularly excited to bring up the subject, but there's just so much tension building up in that room that it was driving Jared to his limit. He couldn't stand it, couldn't stand having to stay in that room any longer than he had to. If anything, instead of making the situation more bearable the silence made it worse. Jensen never said a word, never looked in his direction and, after some observation, Jared is pretty certain that, save for the duct tape incident, Jensen hasn't once looked in his direction. Jared doesn't like to think about it.
"You do know that you're being a stubborn idiot right?" Jared looks up from his book and quirks an eyebrow in Sandy's direction.
"You do know that I don't care right? I'm pretty sure that was my whole point, what with the duct tape separating the room and all." The corner of her mouth twists in dissatisfaction and she throws her slipper at the back of his head. He's in the process of throwing it back at her when he notices just what exactly he's holding.
"Are these pig slippers?" He asks incredulously, although he really shouldn't be surprised. Ever since he showed her that picture he'd found of those little pigs are all covered in paint, she's been obsessed.
"Maybe." She snatches it right up out of his hand and he starts to laugh. He's not sure why this was so funny. It was adorable really.
"Where did you even find that?"
"At Walmart, they have everything." She flops back down on her bed and reaches for her phone, probably going to stare at that picture of the pigs again. He's never sending her even a remotely cute picture ever again.
Jared and Sandy have been hanging out a lot more than he thought they would and it's actually nice to talk to someone new. Jared hasn't been in the market to make new friends lately so he hadn't even tried, but he's thinking that maybe he should. There is this one girl in his Calc class that keeps trying to talk to him, he's pretty sure she's had her eye on the guy that sits across from them so Jared considers this safe territory. Maybe talking to people and socializing might not be that bad of an idea.
At any rate, his new friendship with Sandy is comfortable and easy in a way lots of things in his life haven't been lately. It's weird really, that he's so comfortable around someone he's barely met a few weeks ago, but she's amazing. Jared may love Chad in his own masochistic way but every once in awhile you really need to take a break from all that 'awesomeness'.
"Don't try and change the subject mister!" Jared rolls his eyes and lunges at her, his fingers digging into her side. Sandy has the loudest giggle fit yet and it's entertaining to watch her roll around clutching at her sides, trying to fight him off and protect herself from the onslaught at the same time. Once he lets up she smacks him with the pig slipper again and they head out to get dinner, the conversation long forgotten.
It's Wednesday when the shit hits the fan. Jared knew it would happen sooner or later but it still shocks him when it does, and so spectacularly too.
The week before, Professor Morgan had announced that they would be doing a project. It was a fairly simple assignment to take up the rest of the semester of their Introductory to Photography course. They had to create a collage that tells a story. It doesn't matter how they choose to portray it -Jared already overheard one girl say she was going to have her project be a fight between the food in her fridge. Jared doesn't even want to think about how she might accomplish that- just as long as the story is apparent. It can be fictional or an actual event in their lives. They would be getting partners for this and the list would go up online in a few days.
That morning, after he took a long and uneventful shower, -jerking off when there are at least five other guys in the showers is something Jared never wants to try ever again- Jared had spent an hour watching cartoons while Jensen was knocked out. At first he didn't pay any attention to him, a month sharing a room together in awkward silence more than enough to stop his wandering eyes -at least this early in the morning anyway- so he hadn't noticed Jensen until the commercials went on. It was funny really, and Jared couldn't help but grab his camera and take a picture. Jensen was twisted in the sheets, his head half covered by his pillow and his foot sticking out from between the covers, dangling off the bed.
After taking a few more different shots, Jared goes down to the common room and roots through the mini-fridge there. He finds one of those frozen folded bagels and pops it into that Allison girl's microwave. He eats it hot on the way back to his room, scuffling along the carpet to keep his feet warm in the morning cold. The morning was slow in its own right, Jensen was still (thankfully) passed out when Jared slipped back inside and the silence was no different than it normally was. In no time, Jared gets bored of Spongebob and pulls out his laptop to check his email, and that's when he finds it: the partner list.
It's in no particular order so Jared spends a minute scrolling through the list looking for his name. He really hopes he gets that one guy, what was his name, the point though is that he's pretty good in the class and Jared wouldn't mind working with someone else who knows what they're doing. He finds his name the second time around, somewhere in the middle, and the ice cold realization doesn't surprise him. He slams his laptop shut and glances over at the other bed.
Jared Padalecki --- Jensen Ackles
Jared slips into his running shoes and heads out. He runs for a long time, after a half hour passes by Jared always loses track of the time. He breathes evenly, in through his nose and out through his mouth as the rhythmic slap of his shoes against the pavement lulls him into a false sense of calm. It's the only way Jared knows to keep everything at bay, well he could get laid but it's too early to think about that right now what with him freaking out and all. That stupid professor has it out for him anyway, the second he stepped foot in that class he's probably made a pact with the devil to make Jared's time in his class unbearable.
He knows it's a long shot, but when Jared finds himself standing outside of the Art's Building he can't seem to help himself. He runs up the stairs, down the corridors and passing several open classrooms until he finds Professor Morgan's office. It's a long shot, but Jared has to try anyways. He knocks on the door, two quick raps, and is pushing is way inside right as the 'come in' echoes through the wood. He's sitting at his desk, shuffling through the assignments they turned in last week, reading glasses perched on his nose as he looks up at Jared from behind them. It's intimidating in a way, but then funny because it's like a Professor stereotype he's filling here.
"Yes Mr. Padalecki, is there a problem?" Oh yeah, right.
"Yes actually Mr. Morgan, is there any way I can get reassigned partners?" He raises his eyebrows and Jared would laugh really, because he looks so funny, but right now comic relief is the last thing on Jared's mind.
"Is there a good reason for this, Jared? I'm under the impression that I told the entire class last week that under no circumstances would any of you be allowed a reassignment." God dammit, Jared completely forgot about that.
"Yes, but sir-!"
"I'm sorry Mr. Padalecki, those were the conditions and you were made aware of them. You are just going to have to make do with your current situation." Hasn't that been the whole problem since the beginning of this whole crazy college debacle? Jared is tired of this, he needs to take a break.
He politely thanks his Professor and makes his way back to his dorm. When he makes it back this time, Jensen is sitting up in bed, awake. His hair is adorably rumpled and he has a few red lines on his cheek from the pillow, his shirt is twisted on him and he looks sleepily confused. He's the whole reason Jared's in this whole predicament in the first time and it's not out of the ordinary that Jared ignores him in favor of packing a quick overnight bag. It's time he paid his favorite aunties a visit.
"Not that I don't love you or anything Jared, but what are you doing here?" It's five o'clock in the evening and the sky is already dark, just a hint of the sun peeking out over the very edges and painting the streets in deep purples and golds. Sophia has a spatula in one hand, red sauce smeared across her cheek and she's already wearing her usual pink flannel pajama pants and tank top.
"Nice to see you too Soph, I'm doing good thanks."
"Always such a drama queen, get your ass in here." The first thing to know about Sophia is that she loves to cook but has no sense of cleanliness whatsoever. So it isn't a surprise when he follows her into the kitchen and sees wrappers everywhere, knives perched precariously on nearly every surface and splotches of sauce littering the counter. It's both scary and amazing to watch her work her way around cooking and the general disaster that follows in her wake.
Jared helps her find spices, hands her wooden spoons and neatly chops vegetables and meats alike. This was something that he missed, helping Sophia make magic with her bare hands. It's an old routine of theirs and Jared falls back into the smooth roll easily, effortlessly remembering the different names for dices and chops, the different terms to salt or pepper something. Jared grew up on this, is so used to being in the kitchen that it's become a second home to him, a calming place where he used to be able to escape into without effort.
"So, what college drama happened this time?" Sophia is stirring a large wooden spoon into a large pot, adding a dash here and there of the assortment of spices and herbs at her fingertips. She's angled towards him, one hand on her hips and her hair pulled back in a bandanna. This was the reason why he came here in the first place, Jared just has a feeling that maybe this was the wrong time.
"Jensen." The change is quick, her hand tightens its grip on the spoon ever so slightly and her mouth twists at the corner like Sandy's does when she's not happy with him.
"Let's have dinner first okay? Take a break from all the Jensen drama lately, yeah?" Jared pauses for a second, watches the tension build between her shoulders and he nods.
"Sure." They finish cooking in silence, it's different than the comfortable silence he's used to between them. It almost feels like the silence back at his dorm, with Jensen sitting across from him on his bed drawing, reading, writing, watching, creating. He's tense, always so tense, and Jared never noticed it before. He was so wrapped up in bitter silence that he didn't notice the set of Jensen's shoulders, the muscles pulled taut like he was ready for an attack at any second. For once, Jared feels sad, guilty because a part of him doesn't like seeing Jensen upset. A part of him still loves.
Jared slices the last carrot with all his strength, his muscles tensing as he hacks it in half. Now if he could just do that enough times to get rid of the weight that holds onto his chest, his shoulders, everything. Sophia cuts a look at him, notes the way he's holding the knife and she gently puts the spoon down.
"Jared honey, why don't you take a break. Go find Danneel and get her lazy ass over here." Jared knows a demand when he hears one, and this is something he's more than willing to accommodate. He sets the knife aside and heads down the hallway, pushing open their bedroom door and spotting Danneel laying sideways on the bed, her hair dangling over the edge as she flips through a magazine. She tosses it to the side when she spots him in the doorway, raising her eyebrow at him.
"What you doing here Sasquatch? Thought college life was all the rage these days with you kids."
"What, a guy can't visit his favorite aunties?" Her eyebrow stays up high and he quirks his lips.
"Okay, so I might be taking advantage of the fact that you have a fantastic washing machine and I ran out of quarters last week."
"I knew it, you're using us for our gorgeous machinery." She gasps dramatically and flips herself around, shaking her hair out as she stretches her arms.
"The almighty Queen Sophia has requested your presence in the royal dining hall." Jared says, British accent thick and clumsy on his tongue. His troubles are rewarded with an eye roll and a smack to his shoulder.
"Sophia, my love! Who is this peasant you have let into our quarters?" Danneel practically skips to the kitchen and then it's Jared turn to roll his eyes. His friend's are so weird.
By the time he makes it back into the dining room the table has been set and Danneel is balancing two bowls and a plate in her arms. Jared takes them from her and ignores her when she sticks her tongue out at him for his troubles. Once the food is on the table there is anything but silence filling the room. Danneel goes on about this new job of hers and barely eats anything because she's so busy waving her hands in the air. The food is great, as always, and when Jared tells Sophia she throws a small carrot at his head and laughs when it thunks him in the eye.
"I see how appreciated I am around here." Jared says, dodging another carrot from Danneel's direction.
"We appreciate you Jared! How else could we see at night if you didn't change our lightbulbs?"
"Oh, nice Danni thanks. That's the last time I ever do anything nice for you two."
"Hey, why're you dragging me into this?" Sophia asks, throwing a pea at him in indignation.
"You're her girlfriend, you're involved by association." Sophia pauses for a second, putting her fork down and turning towards Danneel.
"We've had a good run Danneel but I think it's time we went our separate ways, see other people." She doesn't last long before she dissolves into laughter and Jared takes advantage of the opportunity to throw peas at her. Several get stuck in her hair and Jared raises his hands in triumph as she struggles to find them all.
"Okay that's it, no more food for you. You're wasting it all and I am cutting you off. You too Danni, you're just as bad as he is!"
"Hey! I'm your girlfriend, aren't you supposed to cut me some slack?" She pouts as her plate is ripped from her hands and she looks despondently up at Sophia.
"Oh no, you messed with my food. Girlfriend privileges don't apply anymore." They clear off the table and Sophia starts to pile the leftovers into containers. Jared is scrubbing at one of the pots when he feels Danneel tap his shoulder.
"So, why are you really here Jay?" Jared pauses a few seconds, glancing at Danneel before he continues scrubbing.
"What do you mean, Danni? I wanted to take a break from the 'college life', sleep is nice every once in awhile you know."
"It's Jensen." The 'again' goes unsaid but they all know it's there, ringing heavy in all of their ears. Jared ducks his head and scrubs harder, ignoring the stares he feels clawing at his back. Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea after all.
"What happened now, Jay?" He flinches. Jared doesn't want to have this conversation anymore, it feels like all the air is closing in around him and his lungs won't open up to it all. Jared pictures Jensen, sitting crossed legged on his bed or the floor as he draws another picture.
"Remember that project for my Photography class? The one that's worth half our grade?" Jared rinses off the plate and grabs another off the counter.
"Yeah... what's this about Jared?" She's wary and Jared would be too if he were her. Hell, he *is wary.
"The partner list went up this morning." He waits, rinses off the last dish and turns off the water. When he turns around he doesn't see Sophia anywhere in sight. That's not a good sign.
"Oh. Oh!" Her eyes widen in understanding and she shakes her head incredulously. Jared isn't sure what he was expecting, sympathy, shock, or what, but what he really wasn't expecting was her lack of response. For awhile they just stand there in dead silence, nobody says a word and there's that dreaded tension that likes to follow him everywhere. It's unbearable and Jared is just done with all the silence, if he has to endure one more he's going to go insane and drive off a bridge or something equally dramatic.
"Jared, sweetie... I think this is enough, you know?" He turns toward her, confused to all hell about what she's talking about and not knowing how to follow that up with anything resembling a reply.
"What do you mean Danni?"
"I just mean, you've done enough. You've had your rebound period that seemed to never end. You've had the acceptable time to be bitter and at first it was horrible and you totally had the right to bitch about this whole mess but after awhile you just lost it. I'm telling you this because I love you Jay, and what I'm saying is that you need to stop being stubborn, go back to your dorm, and talk to him. It's not going to kill you. Yeah, he was a jackass and he deserved the shit you did to him in retaliation, but now? Now he deserves to be heard, and you need to listen to what he has to say."
When Jared makes it back to Texas Tropes University it is 9:30 at night and he's exhausted.
"...you need to stop being stubborn, go back to your dorm, and talk to him. It's not going to kill you."
Jared thinks it might just kill him. He doesn't know if he has the balls to do this, it seems so simple and stupid, but it's true and Jared can't help that no matter how much he wishes he could. This isn't something he can fix with one conversation, it isn’t something *anybody could fix in just one go and he's pretty sure trying would just be a futile attempt at the impossible.
"Now he deserves to be heard, and you need to listen to what he has to say."
Jared slides the key out of the door and walks in. Jensen is laying sideways on his bed, his head dangling off the edge and his feet are propped up against the wall. He's playing a video game, not something Jared recognizes, and he has his tongue held neatly between his teeth. It's cute. Jared has to admit that. If he's going to start this whole 'being friendly' thing, he's going to have to accept that he has residual feelings left over. That's totally it and he is sticking with that story, its the only one he can accept.
"Hey." It's weird to hear a voice that isn't coming from the TV in their room. It's scary, something foreign and unpredictable. It's a relief Jared didn't know he needed. Jensen pauses the game and looks up at him, raises an eyebrow and pushes his glasses back up with the tip of his finger.
"Oh, are we not not talking now? I'm pretty sure that goes against the whole 'I don't care what you have to say' rule.” The sarcasm rolls off of Jensen's tongue like thick sweet honey and it soothes the tears inside of Jared he didn't know he had.
"Ass. Here I was trying to be nice and you have to go ruin the awesome moment by being a douchey douche that ever douched."
"Oh yeah Jay, 'cause I was the one that went and killed an entire roll of my duct tape trying to separate the room like a pouty four year old with a vendetta." Jensen turns off the TV and turns his head towards his general direction. Jared kind of wants to tell Jensen to save his game first.
"See, moment killed. It's dead, you killed it. Hope you're happy, moment killer." Jared kicks off his shoes and shoves them where bed meets floor. He plops down on the beanbag sitting in the middle of the room and wiggles his butt until he gets comfortable, Chad dropped it off a few days ago and Jared has taken full advantage of it ever since.
"I think the moment died when you killed my duct tape." Jensen folds his arms under his head and stares down at him, biceps bulging out of his tight nerdy little Lord of the Rings shirt. Jared feels small and too big all at once.
"What is it with you and the duct tape? I would have bought another one if I knew how much you were going to bitch about it." A group of girls pass by just outside their door if the muffled high pitched giggles mean anything. Jared shifts -beanbags really aren't all that comfortable after the first ten minutes- and pats his pocket, double checking that he has his phone and keys. He's always losing them.
"Hey, that was an awesome roll of duct tape! He was my friend, and you killed him. You are guilty of murder."
"Dude, when did we start talking about the tape like it was an actual person?"
"When you killed it." His laugh is shocked out of him, it's loud and sharp and rings in Jared's ears like an infinite echo. His lips betray him in the moment, twitching up into a fond smile he can't help but beam up at Jensen. Once he starts it's a bit hard to stop, his smile growing wider and his dimples deepening his cheeks.
"God, I've missed your laugh so much." The laughter dies out as suddenly as it started and Jared stares up where Jensen has an arm thrown over his face, hiding his eyes from this angle. Jared has the sudden urge to see, see what color those eyes are now, see the blush that starts to spread down Jensen's chest. He wants to see everything.
"So we're project partners." Jared says, changing the subject and ignoring the thump of his heart against his rib cage pounding again and again in perfect harmony The frown on Jensen's face lightens, lips twitching upward. Jared can practically *feel his blood start to boil and move faster throughout his body.
"Oh is that why you've decided to start talking to me? I thought you were losing your marbles, such a shame. I was hoping to expand the room."
"Thanks Jensen, I'm feeling the solidarity here."
"This is college Jared. Didn't you hear, solidarity is so last year." Jensen has the most ridiculous French accent
Jared has ever heard. It is the farthest thing from cute, just like the wrinkle of his nose as he moves his arm to the side to stare back at Jared, is that farthest from adorable he's ever seen.
"Fine, here I am trying to be all productive and helpful. You know who to blame when we get a D."
"Okay okay, what ideas do we have, all knowing one?" Jensen props his chin in the palm of his hand, his head tilted to the right.
"Well, okay so I was thinking something along the lines of nonfictional, something personal that most people can relate to. I want the board to connect, the pictures to be simple but expand into this story that has different webs of truth, you know?" Jensen stares at him, just stares, he looks like he's barely breathing. Jared doesn't understand the look he sees in Jensen eyes, doesn't understand the little twitch his fingers do before he flips himself over and shoves his face at his pillow.
"Idea; we both work on different boards these next few weeks and we'll compare notes on it later alright? Now that this is over." His voice is muffled, barely carrying across the room to the point where Jared has to lean in to hear him right. It's like they're oceans apart until Jensen peeks up at him from behind the pillow. His lips twitch just slightly, so fast that Jared barely catches it before Jensen turns away and snuggles under his blanket.
Today has been the weirdest day of college so far, and that's saying a lot, considering.
"No, see you have to be careful when you're subtracting fractions, especially when negative numbers are involved.
In this case the result of 1/3 - 1 is 1/3 - 3/3 = (1-3)/3 = -2/3."
"Okay, see how is that even English? I give up, obviously math hates me. I vote that we burn this insanity now and I play Madden." Jared ignores the heat from Jensen's body all along his side. He ignores the thump of a heart he doesn't even know which body comes from anymore. He looks up at Jensen, puppy eyes on full throttle, small pout already forming on his lips. Jensen even starts to react, his face softening a fracton and is eyes so many soft colors woven together, but then it changes and he smirks, pointing back to the top of problem #3.
"Nope. From the beginning." Jared groans.
"You're a sadist." he says, picking his pencil back up and starting from the top.
"What tipped you off?"
"How do you get kicked out of Hometown Buffet? Tell me Jay, how does that even happen?" Jensen throws his keys on his desk and folds his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow at Jared.
"All you can eat, Jensen! The sign says 'all you can eat'! How was I supposed to know that was false
advertisement?" Jensen shakes his head and wiggles out of his sweater. Jared locks the door and watches the sliver of skin before it disappears under Jensen's shirt. Jared busies himself with emptying his pockets.
"Half of the food was gone and you hadn't even gone for seconds yet! Jared, even *I'm surprised you haven't
exploded by now."
"Hey, I'm a growing boy! I need my nutrition."
"Growing into what, an alien? No normal person can eat that much and still be alive!" Jared glares at Jensen and sticks his tongue out.
"Remind me why I'm talking to you, again?" Jared says, and he feels the change before Jensen whispers back at him, cold and serious.
"Why don't you tell me." Jared looks up and Jensen looks away. That tension Jared thought he was free from fills the room slow as molasses, he can feel it itching at his skin. Jared scratches at his arm and toes at the ground.
"When I know, I'll tell you."
They don't talk the rest of that night.
"Jay, did you want pineapple on the pizza or does that say 'no anchovies'... what they hell is this?" Jared looks up from his laptop and watches Jensen as he squints at the paper and tries to mouth out the words he can't read. He pushes his glasses back up and traces his finger along the line of words.
"It says triple cheese+pineapple, learn how to read."
"Learn how to write, asshole. Nobody can read this chicken scratch!" Jensen throws it at the trash can and misses by a long shot. He glares at Jared, daring him to say anything about his epic fail. Jensen picks his screwdriver back up and starts messing with Jared's PS3 again. The only reason Jared hasn't thrown a hissy fit yet is because Jensen is a nerd that does shit like this for fun so he has an idea of what he's doing. Jared hopes so anyway.
"Apparently x doesn't equal 52. Fuck x, I never liked him anyway." Jared glares down at the paper and imagines it bursting into flames. The stupid tutorial did nothing but confuse him even more.
"Making enemies with letters. Looks like I'll be expanding my side of the room any day now."Jensen cusses softly and shakes out his hand, the screwdriver going flying and landing by the door.
"What are you doing to my baby?"
"You're baby just bit me." Jensen says, glaring at Jared's game system like it's literally going to come to life and bite him.
"Is the machine okay?"
"Well, yeah but-"
"Then I don't care." Jared rolls over and tries to kick off his shoes. The laces are fused to his feet or something because they really don't want to come off.
"Asshat." Jensen starts to suck at the meat of his palm, his face flushed slightly with pain. Jared pulls his phone out and goes through imaginary txts.
"You know it."
"Pizza or Chinese tonight, Jay?"
"Chinese!!" Jared shoots off another guys head and cackles in manic glee. He loves this game.
"Fung's Kitchen? Yeah, it's Jensen Ackles." Jared shoots, the guy blows up. Chunks fly everywhere.
"Gross man, how can you watch that when we're going to eat? Sorry. I'll have the potstickers, chicken chow mein, and beef with broccoli. No thanks, he hates sweet and sour sauce... alright thanks." Jared hacks another zombie head off and it goes flying.
"Food'll be here in twenty." Jared ignores the fact that the last time they ate Chinese food together was almost a year ago.
Jensen is drawing again when Jared gets back from his calculus class. He's been doing a lot more of that lately and Jared's starting to wonder what it is he's drawing exactly, but he has a feeling he doesn't want to know. Jared tosses his bag somewhere near his bed and looks around all the mess for his computer.
"It's on your desk, stupid." Jared looks up from the laundry pile and glances toward his desk. Huh, go figure.
"Stop touching my shit." There's no heat behind it anymore, in fact it's as close to Chad's way of saying thank you then Jared has ever been before. That's kind of scary, he should stop hanging out with Chad so much it's probably the little bastards plan to turn Jared into a Chad-clone. It may sound ridiculous but, knowing Chad, it's best to think of all the possibilities. Jared settles down on the beanbag and crosses his legs at the ankle. It's cold in here, Jared should really try and remember to close the window before he goes to sleep or he's going to wake up shivering again.
He's not really paying attention to the screen if he's being honest, he didn't have any new messages and he got bored after that. He ends up staring at Jensen from the safety of his computer screen, yeah he knows how big of a shocker that is. Lately, Jensen-staring has become something Jared can't seem to avoid at any and all costs.
He would know, he's tried to distract himself but it never works for long.
His favorite time is when Jensen is drawing, his face stuck in deep concentration as he twists his wrist at just the right angle. Jared has the sudden urge to touch that hand, to trace the lines and draw his own pictures along his palm. The urge is so strong that Jared has to sit on his hands and tighten the muscles in his legs to stop himself from doing something stupid. This is insanity, it really is. Jared doesn't even know what his fascination is, it's not like hands are really remarkable or anything, at least not to stare at.
But Jensen's hands just... are. His hands are wide and rough from working construction and helping at his dad's shop, but they're delicate. His fingers are slim and nimble, easy to dance around the page he's filling in with lines and shades. Jared wants to trace along those lines on his palm, wants to feel the warmth and soft skin catch on thin calluses spread out evenly. His nails are short, a little rough around the edges because Jensen bites them when he's nervous or bored. Jared wants to touch those hands but he can't and it's killing him, wearing him down on the inside.
His computer beeps with a new message and he looks back down at the screen. He thinks he sees Jensen glance up at him, that same look of concentration on his face, but when Jared looks back up Jensen is still drawing, oblivious to the world.
On to the next part.