It Had To Be You 1c
Previous part
"Dude, there's this party over at that one guy's house, you know that TA for your English class?"
"Misha?" Jared finally learned the guy's name after he waltzed into class with coffee one day and tossed him one. Granted, Jared almost spilled it all over his lap (there was no cup-cover thing they always put on them) but ever since then it's been an unspoken, spoken sort of friendship where Misha draws dinosaurs and robots all over Jared's papers, pretends it wasn't him and invites him to parties of his. Jared's sort of afraid to go to any of them.
"Yeah, him. He's having a party tonight and apparently his parties are freaking legendary man! We have to go, there's no discussion."
"No, man. I don't go out and get wasted like you do, you know that right?" Let it be known that Jared thinks Chad's pouts are the scariest thing he's ever seen, it's like he's sucking on lemons and having a spaz attack.
"Jared you're an asshat. You were an asshat when I met your sorry asshatty ass and your an asshat now. Your mom gave birth to a total asshat! You're going to have douchey little babies." Chad tosses the paper ball in his hands towards Aldis' head. Score. Jared doesn't even want to know where that came from.
"Ok first of all never mention my mom again. Low blow man." Jared is only half serious, really. Mentioning his mom doesn't bug him nearly as much as it used to but Chad looks up sheepishly and it's a shock to ever see that look on him that Jared almost forgets what they'd been talking about.
"Oh sorry man, forgot. My bad." Sandy smacks Chad upside the head and he glares at her. She sticks her tongue out at him and Chad lunges at her, trying to wrestle the ice cream cone from her small hands and gets the whole cone dumped on his head for his trouble. Aldis tackles Chad to the ground and him and Sandy smoosh the ice cream into his hair.
"Second of all you went from calling me an asshat to a douche. You have a short attention span." Jared dangles his head off the end of the bench and stares up at the fading sky, watches as Chad tries to fight for freedom and only gets melted chocolate chips in his eyes.
"And you are a lying liar who lies, so there. Asshat!"
"God you're worse than Jensen! You both don't know when to stop with your stupid little words of the day. The only difference is Jensen has an actual calendar and you have a tiny brain filled with innuendos that don't make sense half the time." Aldis loses his grip on Chad and he face plants into the grass, rolling to avoid Sandy as she topples over and lands straight where he'd been lying.
"Whoa, Jesus H. Christ and the seven dawrfs! Did you actually willing talk about Jensen?" Chad sits up and brushes his back of the pieces of grass stuck to his shirt. Aldis looks up at Jared like he just put two and two together.
"No he's my roommate, idiot. I'm obviously going to notice things like that." Jared throws an arm over his face and remembers that time, so long ago, when he finally grew a pair and talked to Jensen.
"Oh, I knew you two would work everything out. Who forced your head out of your ass?" She may look innocent but Sandy can be real sly sometimes, Jared glares up at her.
"Don't make me go over there Sandra!" He flips over and makes as if to lunge, Sandy laughs, unafraid, and smacks his shoulder.
"Yeah sure, shut the fuck up asshat! So are you guys, like, talking now or something? With actual words and sentences and prepositional phrases?" Chad sounds scarily excited and Jared peeks an eye out to get a look at him. Chad is leaning towards him, his face wrinkled like a curious cat. That's pretty scary shit right there.
"No! Yes, uh, maybe? Shut up, Chad." Jared is not blushing. He isn't, the Texas sun is just a bitch today.
"Awww!! Look at him blush, it's so cute!!" Jared wrinkles his nose at Sandy and she just giggles. Jared rears up, grabs her by the waist and lifts her in the air. She yelps and starts pushing at his shoulders.
"What is it with you and terrifying innocent women?" She screeches and when Jared feints a drop she grabs onto his neck and holds on tight.
"Agh, you're chocking me!"
"Paybacks a bitch, Padalecki!" She looks way too triumphant when Jared sets her down for someone so small who was just manhandled in the air like that.
"Hey wait, are you talking about Jensen Ackles?" They all look towards Aldis, who looks like he regrets mentioning anything in the first place.
"Yeah, why?" Jared asks, ignoring Sandy as she digs through his pocket for his phone and starts to go through it.
"That douche of an ex-boyfriend you keep talking about, were you talking about him then too?" Jared doesn't understand where this is even going, he looks at Chad to see if he does but his face is just as curious as Jared's.
"Well, yeah man didn't you know? I thought you got the whole story of how we dated in high school and everything."
"Yeah but, I mean I never knew you were talking 'bout Ackles. Dude, he's the nicest, dorkiest guy I know. I can't believe he was the same one who treated you like that. Oh man now I know where I know you from!" Jared can't keep up with this, Aldis knows Jensen? What?
"Yeah man, he's my best friend. Where you been these past few weeks?" Chad chimes in, settling cross legged on the floor and looking at his roommate like the guy's gone and sprouted five heads. Jared knows the feeling.
"No, I mean that first day when you crashed in our dorm? I knew I recognized you from somewhere! See, I met him during the summer when they had tours of the college for prospective freshmen and all, and we decided to go eat out at some Indian place and he was drawing in that little notepad of his, you know the one?" Jared nods weakly, a sick feeling settling in his stomach.
"I'd noticed him drawing in that several times during the day so I finally asked to look at it, I mean it took a hell of a lot of persuading but he finally let me and dude your face was everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Every page was of you or you and him, he never told me who you were but I figured you were his boyfriend or something the way his face changed when he looked at 'em." Jared feels the world start to spin again, it's hard to breathe right now; when did that happen?
"There were some pretty dark ones in there too though, like there was this one of you laughing and smiling and him sitting in this shadowed corner staring at you. It was kind of creepy and sad if you ask me."
Suddenly Jared understands all those side looks Jensen gives him when he's drawing. He understands that expression on his face and the set of his mouth when he thinks Jared isn't paying attention. Longing. It's fucking longing. Everything starts to sound very far away and Jared doesn't know why he feels like the world stopped moving altogether but it's not a fun feeling. He thinks he's going into shock, heck he's in shock already.
"Jay, Jay you okay?" It takes a minute, but when Jared focuses on Chad's pinched face he blinks and sound comes back. He hears the laughing of a group that passes by, hears cars zoom down the street and birds chirp from a tree somewhere.
"What time was that party at Chad?" Chad looks confused and wary. He steps back when Jared starts to pull away.
"I don't know, I'm pretty sure it started an hour ago. What time is it San’, 8? Yeah, it started at least an hour ago. What's going on Jared?"
"Then we better hurry right? You're driving." He still looks at a loss, but he catches the keys Jared throws at him and follows him out to the parking lot. After a few minutes, Sandy starts to run towards them and hops in the back seat. They look back at her and she rolls her eyes.
"I'm not letting Jared have a breakdown without me and I don't trust you with him, Chad. For all I know Jared could try and jump off a bridge and you'll be the one pushing him. Now drive."
So they did.
The party was loud, the air was thick with alcohol and smoke as Jared downed another shot of... something. He didn't care anymore and the shots kept coming, who was Jared to complain about free alcohol? He doesn't remember how long he's been at it, doesn't remember when he lost Chad and Sandy in the crowd of writhing and stumbling bodies but he's pretty sure it was a long time ago. The music never stopped once, the speakers pounding out loud and pulsing sounds that got everybody in a frenzy to dance and grind. Jared went out once and got passed around from person to person, grinding against the hard bodies of tall guys just as drunk as he was, and even against several girls. It didn't matter who it was at that point, a body was a body all heat and slick sweat. After awhile though he started to miss the constant smooth sour burn down his throat so he'd wandered around until he found a keg and worked his way back from there.
Jared was so fucking drunk, drunker than he's ever been because he's never been one to go out and get wasted - that was always Chad's thing- but now it seems like that was such a stupid idea. Drinking was amazing, it was fun and carefree and the buzz was mind blowing. He felt loose and stock full of lazy energy, the world spun and Jared wasn't sure if that was the haze of smoke clearing or if the world was trying to kill him. Maybe it was both, god damn Jared felt high. He probably was, in the midst of his hazy and confusedly drunken brain Jared remembered something about getting high by just inhaling the leftover smoke.
"Jared, honey don't you think you should stop now? You've had enough." Sandy? When did Sandy get here? Jared takes another swig of the cup in his hand and grins sloppily at her, trying to coordinate his limbs long enough to throw an arm over her shoulder. He misses and bumps his elbow into the wall, Jared laughs.
"Sandy! Hey, what are you doing here, did you bring more beer?" He looks down at her hands and finds them empty. Damn.
"No, Jared come on you have a test tomorrow and judging by how pissed you are now, I have a feeling you're going to be more than hung over come tomorrow." Jared doesn't really understand what she's trying to do but when she makes a grab for his cup he stumbles backward and frowns down at her.
"Hey come on, I barely had a few drinks. Lighten up San'."
"Lighten...? Jared you've had way more than just a few. You've been drinking pretty much nonstop for the past hour. It's time you get cut off." She makes another grab and Jared holds his hands above his head, backing up a few more stumbled steps before running into a hard chest.
"Jared?" Jared looks up, squinting up at Jensen’s blurry face suddenly above his. When did he end up on the floor?
"Jensen! Hey!" Jensen's mouth tightens and he looks up at Sandy questioningly. She shakes her head and crosses her arms over her chest. Jared looks around for his beer, frantic, before he finds it in his hand. Hah; he chugs it down and waves at Chad when he turns up behind Jensen.
"What the fuck, Jay?" Chad kneels down and tries to help Jared back up but Jensen beats him to it, hands fastening themselves over Jared's wrist and tugging. The world spins wildly again and Jared almost loses all the alcohol in his system if it weren’t for the steady hands gripping his shoulders keeping him balanced and vomit free. Jared looks back up at Jensen's face and grins happily.
"Fuck, you're prettier than the last time I saw you. When did that happen? You know, you shouldn't be as hot as you are 'cause you’re a dork ya know? And that doesn't go together but it does!" Jensen's eyebrows furrow and Jared wants to touch the little crease right there on his forehead, if only his hands would listen to him and move. Any day now.
"I was trying to cut him off but he wouldn't listen to me. Jensen, could you take him back to your guys' room?" Sandy looks at him with a frown and Jared doesn't remember why she looks pissed. He has a feeling he had something to do with it.
"Wait, you think that's a good idea Sandy?" Chad asks, stepping towards him and Jensen with his arms grabbing at Jared's.
"Just let 'em go, Chad." She gives him a look and Jared has a feeling he should know what it means. Oh well, that doesn't matter anymore because Jensen is touching him, his fingers are warm and searchin. Jared groans and he doesn't know if it's because of the alcohol or the fact that his dick is full and hot in his jeans.
"Yeah, okay big guy come on."
"Nooo!! Wanna drink some more, come on Jen let's get drunk together!" Jared waves his arms towards the fridge jam packed with beer but Jensen doesn't even look, just adjusts his grip and starts steering Jared towards the door.
"Think you're way ahead of me there Jay."
"Nuh uh, did Sandy tell you that? She lies you know that? She does! I only had a few beers, she's just jealous 'cause the guy she's been hitting on all night went off with another girl and I have you." Jared tries to stop Jensen from tugging at him, tries to go back into the house, but Jensen is super strong and Jared's legs are jelly. That's cool, he's always wanted jelly legs.
"Watch your head." Jensen says and whoa when did they get outside? It's cold out here, the wind blowing cold air all around him and sobering Jared up enough that he realizes this is all Jensen's fault. But then he's being loaded into the car and he forgets because Jensen starts touching his chest and lap trying to buckle him in the passenger seat. Did Jared mention he was hard? Cause he is.
The drive back to their dorm is long and boring. Jared starts to drift off a few times and he think he mentions something to Jensen about being hot but he's been saying that a lot in his head so it could just be that. When Jensen parks the car and manhandles Jared out he's not really all there anymore. The world is a blurry mess and the only thing Jared can even remotely focus on is Jensen, his lips and the freckles scattered across his nose.
"You're freckles are cute, I never understood why you di'nt like them." Jared doesn't understand why Jensen's mouth keeps tightening in the corner, but it's sexy. The stairs weren't fun to go up because they kept flipping and moving like in the Harry Potter movies and Jared couldn't keep up until Jensen took most of his weight and practically carried Jared up them all.
"You're super strong, Jensen."
"Uh huh." He's trying to fish his keys out of his pocket and open the door but Jared keeps trying to lick at his mouth and only getting his cheek. When they both stumble inside Jensen let's go of his hold on Jared, gripping a shoulder instead and steering him in the direction of his bed but Jared doesn't want to go.
"Come on, Jen." He whispers, stepping in front of Jensen and slipping his hands behind his head. Jared takes advantage of Jensen's surprise, starts to lick at his mouth, small teasing licks over and over again and fuck it's so good. Jensen's lips are soft, fuck Jared forgot all about that. Jensen tries to push him away, moving his face to the side so that the next time Jared goes for his lips the kiss lands on his chin.
"You're drunk Jay, stop." But he can't. Jensen is so hot and Jared's missed him so much.
"Missed this Jen, missed you. God, please." Jared's hands slip just under his shirt, fingers tracing over Jensen's hip and he can feel the taut and hard muscles of his stomach flex. He pushes his nose against Jensen's looks up into his eyes and he can see Jensen give in, can see the dark rings of lust and heat and god it's been too long.
This time when Jared leans in Jensen meets him halfway, crushing their lips together hard and fast. He growls, grabs Jared by the back of his head and fills his hands with handfuls of his hair. He gives his head a sharp pull, both of them moaning loud and thick as Jensen starts to push them towards the bed. Jared's brain stops working at the precise moment Jensen cups him through his jeans, fingers teasing and rubbing him until the words and noises coming out of Jared's mouth don't even sound like him anymore. He's powerless to anything but what Jensen gives him now, and Jared knows that's exactly how Jensen likes it.
They've never done this, haven't gotten this far before Jensen cut everything apart but god they were so close. Jared can feel Jensen pin his arms down above his head, loves the burn of stubble against his chin and the sting of teeth clashing and tongues licking, exploring, fighting. It's so rough and sweet and hot that Jared's brain feels like its short circuiting, his eyes rolling up into the back of his head. He ruts up against Jensen, feels the answering hiss soak into his skin and Jared's arms break free to pull Jensen down closer, never close enough. He wants to do this, doesn't even know the difference between the buzz or the lust haze anymore and he couldn't care less.
When Jensen breaks away the air that rushes into Jared’s lungs feels foreign and unwanted. What he wants is Jensen’s spit slicked, swollen lips back on his because without them he’s starting to think, starting to remember that this isn’t such a good idea. He tries to focus on the trail Jensen’s leaving down his neck, the hickey he’s sucking deep into Jared’s skin but it’s not working and he whines, desperate.
“Shh.” Jensen whispers, biting Jared’s nipple through his shirt and grinding down into him again and there you go. It’s frantic, rushed and confusing as they try and get each other naked. Jared’s shirt is half off, his pants undone and at his knees and Jensen’s hand is slipping down Jared’s boxers when somewhere across the room Jared’s phone rings.
“Just ignore it, Jay.” The haze Jared was in breaks off and suddenly he realizes that it’s Jensen laying on top of him, Jensen’s fingers brushing against his dick. Jared wants to say that he didn’t care, he wants to say that all the worse possible scenarios didn’t pop into his head and take root like a virus. Jared wants to say that he didn’t push Jensen away and stumble off the bed or that he didn’t pull his pants up and look at Jensen like the world just fell apart. He wants to be able to say that his heart didn’t break when he saw the look on Jensen’s face or that he wasn’t already backing out of the room when he said, “We can’t do this, Jensen. We can’t and we didn’t okay? Please, Jensen.”
He wants to say that the nod Jensen gave him wasn’t curt because his face was slowly turning expressionless. Jared wants to say that he wasn’t half crying and cold when he calls up Sophia and she tells him to stay where he is. He wants to say that Sophia didn’t understand what happened the second she pulled up to him, but he has to and he doesn’t like it one bit.
When Jared wakes up it’s to find that his head has a pulse. He can’t open his eyes because they feel glued together with gunk he doesn’t want to think about and his mouth tastes sour, filled with cotton and soggy gym socks. It’s a lovely experience, truly. After a minute to wallow in pained silence though, -in which he comes to the conclusion that he will never drink again if his life depends on it- Jared feels something collide with his chest and his eyes rip themselves open in shock.
His stinging eyes look at the clock on a nightstand that is not his. It’s five thirty in the morning and Jared remembers that his life has crashed through to rock bottom. He doesn’t remember much about when Sophia came to pick him up, just that she gave him a water bottle, told him to not wake up Chad -who’d apparently stopped by when Sophia called him with the news and passed out before they could get there- or Danneel and sent him on his way.
“What?” Jared’s eyes struggle to adjust and the only thing he sees is a tousled blur perched lazily on his chest.
“Wake up, you idiot. This is important shit happening right here.” For just a minute Jared thinks that it’s Jensen laying on him. Then he remembers that Jensen is a few miles back at Texas Tropes and even if he wasn’t, considering everything that happened, laying on top of Jared would be the last thing on his to-do list. Not to mention the fact that the voice was decidedly female. Light bulb moment: check.
“Danni, is that you?”Jared rubs at his eyes and blinks, pushes the small lump off of him. He’s fumbling for the switch on the lamp when the light suddenly goes on and blinds him. He looks up to see Chad standing in the doorway, his hair spiked towards the ceiling and dry drool on his chin.
“Fuck Jay, what the fuck happened? I went to check on you and Sandy had said you left the dorm awhile back. The fuck!” Chad’s obviously a little bit drunk and half asleep because he’s talking to the wall and tilting on his feet, Jared has to lunge forward just to catch him from toppling over.
“How can you cuss this much so early in the morning? I’ll talk to you in the morning, just go back to bed Chad.” Jared pushes him down on the cushions of the couch which, judging by the blankets and pillows, is where he fell asleep. He starts making his way back to the room when a pillow is thrown at the back of his head and you have to give it to Chad for not letting even a personal crisis get in the way of his assholery. Jared throws the pillow back, enjoys the oof of revenge, and closes the door with a slick click.
He’s not in the least surprised when he turns around to see Danneel snuggled under his blankets curled up in a ball and staring at Jared.
“What’re you doing Danni? You do realize that us normal human beings actually sleep right?”He slithers in behind her and burrows his face deep into his pillow. Jared does not need to be awake for another six hours -which is when he has to take a freakin’ test- and dammit he wants his sleep.
“I need to talk to you.”The sudden drop in her tone makes Jared nervous. Danneel is like Chad in the way that they are rarely ever serious, seriousness from them freaks Jared out because it could mean the impending apocalypse. He wonders if Sophia told her what happened, if Sophia even really knows what happened at any rate and Jared’s head starts to hurt all over again. He really wanted to get some sleep too, being hung over sucked.
“What happened? Did Sophia tell you shit again, because I swear she always takes things out of context and...” She giggles, just a bit, enough to make Jared stop talking and scrunch his nose in confusion. Danneel pinches his cheek and smiles fondly.
“I’m going to propose to Sophia.” She says, looking away from his eyes and down at her fingers as they trail patterns across his cheek.
“That’s great! I’m so happy for you Danni, you know that right?” Despite the fact that everything, including his head, hurts, his smile couldn’t stretch any wider. Danneel and Sophia have been going out for nearly as long as Jared has known them, they act like a married couple so much that sometimes Jared forgets.
Cool fingers hesitate in their pattern and clench harshly into his cheek. Jared refrains from flinching even though the pain is magnified by at least 1000x, because the look on Danneel’s face is the most horrified and confused he has ever seen on her. Danneel is the person people go to for confidence, the person everyone goes to get sense kicked into them. So the look on her face terrifies Jared, it’s like she’s transferring every fear and anxiety into him because it’s just too much for her. He doesn’t need her to say anything for him to understand the thoughts running through her head right now. Jared has known Danneel for so long that her feelings might as well be his.
“Oh no, oh Danneel you can’t really think that Soph won’t say yes.” The twitch that shudders down her body says everything. Jared scoops her up in his arms, turns them around so he’s the wall between her and the world. She feels so small in his clumsy arms, like he can break her any second and it makes Jared realize something.
“You think Sophia will suddenly stop loving you if you propose? Like years of being together through it all means nothing to her? Oh Danni, she loves you so much it’s insane!” He whispers hoarsly, tucking her under his chin like she’s done for him a countless number of times.
“It’s not that Jared. It’s just- what if she realizes that I’m not that strong confident person she fell in love with? Look at me I’m such a pathetic mess.” She’s not crying, Jared doesn’t think he’s ever seen Danneel cry, but she sounds close to it. It makes his arms tighten just a bit.
“I think she knows that you’re not a robot. Sophia fell in love with you and every fault you have. If you’re nervous before you propose I think she’ll understand.” They don’t say anything and Jared doesn’t think that they have to. Danneel isn’t nearly done freaking herself out but Jared can feel the calm slowing down her rapid beating heart.
“Danni?”He says after awhile, adjusting them just a bit because his arm is falling asleep and this angle makes
Jared’s head pound even more.
“Hmm?”
“You are that strong confident woman she fell in love with. You’re the strong, confident, funny, caring and wonderful woman we all fell in love with.” Danneel’s hands wrap around his waist and she snuggles closer. Jared covers them with the blanket and a long time passes in deep silence.
“Jay?” He thought she was asleep, so he looks down at her in mild surprise as Dannel opens her eyes and watches him with a kind pity, with hope.
“Yeah, Danni?”
“He does love you, you know that? And I know you love him just as much. Things don’t make any sense now, and they probably won’t for awhile considering you two, but at some point there’ll be a moment where you understand. You just have to be patient and wait for it to happen. I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about, go back to sleep okay?” She nods slowly and fits her head in the crook of his neck. He doesn’t go back to sleep even though he knows he should, just lays there and watches over his friend as she slowly falls to sleep. After a few moments of deep breathing Jared kisses the top of her head, a reassurance. Minutes turn into an hour and Jared stares up at the ceiling, doesn’t think or move, just counts the deep breathes coming from the body in his arms.
He can’t help but think that maybe, out of all the other times Danneel has been right, this time she might just be wrong.
On to the next part.
"Dude, there's this party over at that one guy's house, you know that TA for your English class?"
"Misha?" Jared finally learned the guy's name after he waltzed into class with coffee one day and tossed him one. Granted, Jared almost spilled it all over his lap (there was no cup-cover thing they always put on them) but ever since then it's been an unspoken, spoken sort of friendship where Misha draws dinosaurs and robots all over Jared's papers, pretends it wasn't him and invites him to parties of his. Jared's sort of afraid to go to any of them.
"Yeah, him. He's having a party tonight and apparently his parties are freaking legendary man! We have to go, there's no discussion."
"No, man. I don't go out and get wasted like you do, you know that right?" Let it be known that Jared thinks Chad's pouts are the scariest thing he's ever seen, it's like he's sucking on lemons and having a spaz attack.
"Jared you're an asshat. You were an asshat when I met your sorry asshatty ass and your an asshat now. Your mom gave birth to a total asshat! You're going to have douchey little babies." Chad tosses the paper ball in his hands towards Aldis' head. Score. Jared doesn't even want to know where that came from.
"Ok first of all never mention my mom again. Low blow man." Jared is only half serious, really. Mentioning his mom doesn't bug him nearly as much as it used to but Chad looks up sheepishly and it's a shock to ever see that look on him that Jared almost forgets what they'd been talking about.
"Oh sorry man, forgot. My bad." Sandy smacks Chad upside the head and he glares at her. She sticks her tongue out at him and Chad lunges at her, trying to wrestle the ice cream cone from her small hands and gets the whole cone dumped on his head for his trouble. Aldis tackles Chad to the ground and him and Sandy smoosh the ice cream into his hair.
"Second of all you went from calling me an asshat to a douche. You have a short attention span." Jared dangles his head off the end of the bench and stares up at the fading sky, watches as Chad tries to fight for freedom and only gets melted chocolate chips in his eyes.
"And you are a lying liar who lies, so there. Asshat!"
"God you're worse than Jensen! You both don't know when to stop with your stupid little words of the day. The only difference is Jensen has an actual calendar and you have a tiny brain filled with innuendos that don't make sense half the time." Aldis loses his grip on Chad and he face plants into the grass, rolling to avoid Sandy as she topples over and lands straight where he'd been lying.
"Whoa, Jesus H. Christ and the seven dawrfs! Did you actually willing talk about Jensen?" Chad sits up and brushes his back of the pieces of grass stuck to his shirt. Aldis looks up at Jared like he just put two and two together.
"No he's my roommate, idiot. I'm obviously going to notice things like that." Jared throws an arm over his face and remembers that time, so long ago, when he finally grew a pair and talked to Jensen.
"Oh, I knew you two would work everything out. Who forced your head out of your ass?" She may look innocent but Sandy can be real sly sometimes, Jared glares up at her.
"Don't make me go over there Sandra!" He flips over and makes as if to lunge, Sandy laughs, unafraid, and smacks his shoulder.
"Yeah sure, shut the fuck up asshat! So are you guys, like, talking now or something? With actual words and sentences and prepositional phrases?" Chad sounds scarily excited and Jared peeks an eye out to get a look at him. Chad is leaning towards him, his face wrinkled like a curious cat. That's pretty scary shit right there.
"No! Yes, uh, maybe? Shut up, Chad." Jared is not blushing. He isn't, the Texas sun is just a bitch today.
"Awww!! Look at him blush, it's so cute!!" Jared wrinkles his nose at Sandy and she just giggles. Jared rears up, grabs her by the waist and lifts her in the air. She yelps and starts pushing at his shoulders.
"What is it with you and terrifying innocent women?" She screeches and when Jared feints a drop she grabs onto his neck and holds on tight.
"Agh, you're chocking me!"
"Paybacks a bitch, Padalecki!" She looks way too triumphant when Jared sets her down for someone so small who was just manhandled in the air like that.
"Hey wait, are you talking about Jensen Ackles?" They all look towards Aldis, who looks like he regrets mentioning anything in the first place.
"Yeah, why?" Jared asks, ignoring Sandy as she digs through his pocket for his phone and starts to go through it.
"That douche of an ex-boyfriend you keep talking about, were you talking about him then too?" Jared doesn't understand where this is even going, he looks at Chad to see if he does but his face is just as curious as Jared's.
"Well, yeah man didn't you know? I thought you got the whole story of how we dated in high school and everything."
"Yeah but, I mean I never knew you were talking 'bout Ackles. Dude, he's the nicest, dorkiest guy I know. I can't believe he was the same one who treated you like that. Oh man now I know where I know you from!" Jared can't keep up with this, Aldis knows Jensen? What?
"Yeah man, he's my best friend. Where you been these past few weeks?" Chad chimes in, settling cross legged on the floor and looking at his roommate like the guy's gone and sprouted five heads. Jared knows the feeling.
"No, I mean that first day when you crashed in our dorm? I knew I recognized you from somewhere! See, I met him during the summer when they had tours of the college for prospective freshmen and all, and we decided to go eat out at some Indian place and he was drawing in that little notepad of his, you know the one?" Jared nods weakly, a sick feeling settling in his stomach.
"I'd noticed him drawing in that several times during the day so I finally asked to look at it, I mean it took a hell of a lot of persuading but he finally let me and dude your face was everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Every page was of you or you and him, he never told me who you were but I figured you were his boyfriend or something the way his face changed when he looked at 'em." Jared feels the world start to spin again, it's hard to breathe right now; when did that happen?
"There were some pretty dark ones in there too though, like there was this one of you laughing and smiling and him sitting in this shadowed corner staring at you. It was kind of creepy and sad if you ask me."
Suddenly Jared understands all those side looks Jensen gives him when he's drawing. He understands that expression on his face and the set of his mouth when he thinks Jared isn't paying attention. Longing. It's fucking longing. Everything starts to sound very far away and Jared doesn't know why he feels like the world stopped moving altogether but it's not a fun feeling. He thinks he's going into shock, heck he's in shock already.
"Jay, Jay you okay?" It takes a minute, but when Jared focuses on Chad's pinched face he blinks and sound comes back. He hears the laughing of a group that passes by, hears cars zoom down the street and birds chirp from a tree somewhere.
"What time was that party at Chad?" Chad looks confused and wary. He steps back when Jared starts to pull away.
"I don't know, I'm pretty sure it started an hour ago. What time is it San’, 8? Yeah, it started at least an hour ago. What's going on Jared?"
"Then we better hurry right? You're driving." He still looks at a loss, but he catches the keys Jared throws at him and follows him out to the parking lot. After a few minutes, Sandy starts to run towards them and hops in the back seat. They look back at her and she rolls her eyes.
"I'm not letting Jared have a breakdown without me and I don't trust you with him, Chad. For all I know Jared could try and jump off a bridge and you'll be the one pushing him. Now drive."
So they did.
The party was loud, the air was thick with alcohol and smoke as Jared downed another shot of... something. He didn't care anymore and the shots kept coming, who was Jared to complain about free alcohol? He doesn't remember how long he's been at it, doesn't remember when he lost Chad and Sandy in the crowd of writhing and stumbling bodies but he's pretty sure it was a long time ago. The music never stopped once, the speakers pounding out loud and pulsing sounds that got everybody in a frenzy to dance and grind. Jared went out once and got passed around from person to person, grinding against the hard bodies of tall guys just as drunk as he was, and even against several girls. It didn't matter who it was at that point, a body was a body all heat and slick sweat. After awhile though he started to miss the constant smooth sour burn down his throat so he'd wandered around until he found a keg and worked his way back from there.
Jared was so fucking drunk, drunker than he's ever been because he's never been one to go out and get wasted - that was always Chad's thing- but now it seems like that was such a stupid idea. Drinking was amazing, it was fun and carefree and the buzz was mind blowing. He felt loose and stock full of lazy energy, the world spun and Jared wasn't sure if that was the haze of smoke clearing or if the world was trying to kill him. Maybe it was both, god damn Jared felt high. He probably was, in the midst of his hazy and confusedly drunken brain Jared remembered something about getting high by just inhaling the leftover smoke.
"Jared, honey don't you think you should stop now? You've had enough." Sandy? When did Sandy get here? Jared takes another swig of the cup in his hand and grins sloppily at her, trying to coordinate his limbs long enough to throw an arm over her shoulder. He misses and bumps his elbow into the wall, Jared laughs.
"Sandy! Hey, what are you doing here, did you bring more beer?" He looks down at her hands and finds them empty. Damn.
"No, Jared come on you have a test tomorrow and judging by how pissed you are now, I have a feeling you're going to be more than hung over come tomorrow." Jared doesn't really understand what she's trying to do but when she makes a grab for his cup he stumbles backward and frowns down at her.
"Hey come on, I barely had a few drinks. Lighten up San'."
"Lighten...? Jared you've had way more than just a few. You've been drinking pretty much nonstop for the past hour. It's time you get cut off." She makes another grab and Jared holds his hands above his head, backing up a few more stumbled steps before running into a hard chest.
"Jared?" Jared looks up, squinting up at Jensen’s blurry face suddenly above his. When did he end up on the floor?
"Jensen! Hey!" Jensen's mouth tightens and he looks up at Sandy questioningly. She shakes her head and crosses her arms over her chest. Jared looks around for his beer, frantic, before he finds it in his hand. Hah; he chugs it down and waves at Chad when he turns up behind Jensen.
"What the fuck, Jay?" Chad kneels down and tries to help Jared back up but Jensen beats him to it, hands fastening themselves over Jared's wrist and tugging. The world spins wildly again and Jared almost loses all the alcohol in his system if it weren’t for the steady hands gripping his shoulders keeping him balanced and vomit free. Jared looks back up at Jensen's face and grins happily.
"Fuck, you're prettier than the last time I saw you. When did that happen? You know, you shouldn't be as hot as you are 'cause you’re a dork ya know? And that doesn't go together but it does!" Jensen's eyebrows furrow and Jared wants to touch the little crease right there on his forehead, if only his hands would listen to him and move. Any day now.
"I was trying to cut him off but he wouldn't listen to me. Jensen, could you take him back to your guys' room?" Sandy looks at him with a frown and Jared doesn't remember why she looks pissed. He has a feeling he had something to do with it.
"Wait, you think that's a good idea Sandy?" Chad asks, stepping towards him and Jensen with his arms grabbing at Jared's.
"Just let 'em go, Chad." She gives him a look and Jared has a feeling he should know what it means. Oh well, that doesn't matter anymore because Jensen is touching him, his fingers are warm and searchin. Jared groans and he doesn't know if it's because of the alcohol or the fact that his dick is full and hot in his jeans.
"Yeah, okay big guy come on."
"Nooo!! Wanna drink some more, come on Jen let's get drunk together!" Jared waves his arms towards the fridge jam packed with beer but Jensen doesn't even look, just adjusts his grip and starts steering Jared towards the door.
"Think you're way ahead of me there Jay."
"Nuh uh, did Sandy tell you that? She lies you know that? She does! I only had a few beers, she's just jealous 'cause the guy she's been hitting on all night went off with another girl and I have you." Jared tries to stop Jensen from tugging at him, tries to go back into the house, but Jensen is super strong and Jared's legs are jelly. That's cool, he's always wanted jelly legs.
"Watch your head." Jensen says and whoa when did they get outside? It's cold out here, the wind blowing cold air all around him and sobering Jared up enough that he realizes this is all Jensen's fault. But then he's being loaded into the car and he forgets because Jensen starts touching his chest and lap trying to buckle him in the passenger seat. Did Jared mention he was hard? Cause he is.
The drive back to their dorm is long and boring. Jared starts to drift off a few times and he think he mentions something to Jensen about being hot but he's been saying that a lot in his head so it could just be that. When Jensen parks the car and manhandles Jared out he's not really all there anymore. The world is a blurry mess and the only thing Jared can even remotely focus on is Jensen, his lips and the freckles scattered across his nose.
"You're freckles are cute, I never understood why you di'nt like them." Jared doesn't understand why Jensen's mouth keeps tightening in the corner, but it's sexy. The stairs weren't fun to go up because they kept flipping and moving like in the Harry Potter movies and Jared couldn't keep up until Jensen took most of his weight and practically carried Jared up them all.
"You're super strong, Jensen."
"Uh huh." He's trying to fish his keys out of his pocket and open the door but Jared keeps trying to lick at his mouth and only getting his cheek. When they both stumble inside Jensen let's go of his hold on Jared, gripping a shoulder instead and steering him in the direction of his bed but Jared doesn't want to go.
"Come on, Jen." He whispers, stepping in front of Jensen and slipping his hands behind his head. Jared takes advantage of Jensen's surprise, starts to lick at his mouth, small teasing licks over and over again and fuck it's so good. Jensen's lips are soft, fuck Jared forgot all about that. Jensen tries to push him away, moving his face to the side so that the next time Jared goes for his lips the kiss lands on his chin.
"You're drunk Jay, stop." But he can't. Jensen is so hot and Jared's missed him so much.
"Missed this Jen, missed you. God, please." Jared's hands slip just under his shirt, fingers tracing over Jensen's hip and he can feel the taut and hard muscles of his stomach flex. He pushes his nose against Jensen's looks up into his eyes and he can see Jensen give in, can see the dark rings of lust and heat and god it's been too long.
This time when Jared leans in Jensen meets him halfway, crushing their lips together hard and fast. He growls, grabs Jared by the back of his head and fills his hands with handfuls of his hair. He gives his head a sharp pull, both of them moaning loud and thick as Jensen starts to push them towards the bed. Jared's brain stops working at the precise moment Jensen cups him through his jeans, fingers teasing and rubbing him until the words and noises coming out of Jared's mouth don't even sound like him anymore. He's powerless to anything but what Jensen gives him now, and Jared knows that's exactly how Jensen likes it.
They've never done this, haven't gotten this far before Jensen cut everything apart but god they were so close. Jared can feel Jensen pin his arms down above his head, loves the burn of stubble against his chin and the sting of teeth clashing and tongues licking, exploring, fighting. It's so rough and sweet and hot that Jared's brain feels like its short circuiting, his eyes rolling up into the back of his head. He ruts up against Jensen, feels the answering hiss soak into his skin and Jared's arms break free to pull Jensen down closer, never close enough. He wants to do this, doesn't even know the difference between the buzz or the lust haze anymore and he couldn't care less.
When Jensen breaks away the air that rushes into Jared’s lungs feels foreign and unwanted. What he wants is Jensen’s spit slicked, swollen lips back on his because without them he’s starting to think, starting to remember that this isn’t such a good idea. He tries to focus on the trail Jensen’s leaving down his neck, the hickey he’s sucking deep into Jared’s skin but it’s not working and he whines, desperate.
“Shh.” Jensen whispers, biting Jared’s nipple through his shirt and grinding down into him again and there you go. It’s frantic, rushed and confusing as they try and get each other naked. Jared’s shirt is half off, his pants undone and at his knees and Jensen’s hand is slipping down Jared’s boxers when somewhere across the room Jared’s phone rings.
“Just ignore it, Jay.” The haze Jared was in breaks off and suddenly he realizes that it’s Jensen laying on top of him, Jensen’s fingers brushing against his dick. Jared wants to say that he didn’t care, he wants to say that all the worse possible scenarios didn’t pop into his head and take root like a virus. Jared wants to say that he didn’t push Jensen away and stumble off the bed or that he didn’t pull his pants up and look at Jensen like the world just fell apart. He wants to be able to say that his heart didn’t break when he saw the look on Jensen’s face or that he wasn’t already backing out of the room when he said, “We can’t do this, Jensen. We can’t and we didn’t okay? Please, Jensen.”
He wants to say that the nod Jensen gave him wasn’t curt because his face was slowly turning expressionless. Jared wants to say that he wasn’t half crying and cold when he calls up Sophia and she tells him to stay where he is. He wants to say that Sophia didn’t understand what happened the second she pulled up to him, but he has to and he doesn’t like it one bit.
When Jared wakes up it’s to find that his head has a pulse. He can’t open his eyes because they feel glued together with gunk he doesn’t want to think about and his mouth tastes sour, filled with cotton and soggy gym socks. It’s a lovely experience, truly. After a minute to wallow in pained silence though, -in which he comes to the conclusion that he will never drink again if his life depends on it- Jared feels something collide with his chest and his eyes rip themselves open in shock.
His stinging eyes look at the clock on a nightstand that is not his. It’s five thirty in the morning and Jared remembers that his life has crashed through to rock bottom. He doesn’t remember much about when Sophia came to pick him up, just that she gave him a water bottle, told him to not wake up Chad -who’d apparently stopped by when Sophia called him with the news and passed out before they could get there- or Danneel and sent him on his way.
“What?” Jared’s eyes struggle to adjust and the only thing he sees is a tousled blur perched lazily on his chest.
“Wake up, you idiot. This is important shit happening right here.” For just a minute Jared thinks that it’s Jensen laying on him. Then he remembers that Jensen is a few miles back at Texas Tropes and even if he wasn’t, considering everything that happened, laying on top of Jared would be the last thing on his to-do list. Not to mention the fact that the voice was decidedly female. Light bulb moment: check.
“Danni, is that you?”Jared rubs at his eyes and blinks, pushes the small lump off of him. He’s fumbling for the switch on the lamp when the light suddenly goes on and blinds him. He looks up to see Chad standing in the doorway, his hair spiked towards the ceiling and dry drool on his chin.
“Fuck Jay, what the fuck happened? I went to check on you and Sandy had said you left the dorm awhile back. The fuck!” Chad’s obviously a little bit drunk and half asleep because he’s talking to the wall and tilting on his feet, Jared has to lunge forward just to catch him from toppling over.
“How can you cuss this much so early in the morning? I’ll talk to you in the morning, just go back to bed Chad.” Jared pushes him down on the cushions of the couch which, judging by the blankets and pillows, is where he fell asleep. He starts making his way back to the room when a pillow is thrown at the back of his head and you have to give it to Chad for not letting even a personal crisis get in the way of his assholery. Jared throws the pillow back, enjoys the oof of revenge, and closes the door with a slick click.
He’s not in the least surprised when he turns around to see Danneel snuggled under his blankets curled up in a ball and staring at Jared.
“What’re you doing Danni? You do realize that us normal human beings actually sleep right?”He slithers in behind her and burrows his face deep into his pillow. Jared does not need to be awake for another six hours -which is when he has to take a freakin’ test- and dammit he wants his sleep.
“I need to talk to you.”The sudden drop in her tone makes Jared nervous. Danneel is like Chad in the way that they are rarely ever serious, seriousness from them freaks Jared out because it could mean the impending apocalypse. He wonders if Sophia told her what happened, if Sophia even really knows what happened at any rate and Jared’s head starts to hurt all over again. He really wanted to get some sleep too, being hung over sucked.
“What happened? Did Sophia tell you shit again, because I swear she always takes things out of context and...” She giggles, just a bit, enough to make Jared stop talking and scrunch his nose in confusion. Danneel pinches his cheek and smiles fondly.
“I’m going to propose to Sophia.” She says, looking away from his eyes and down at her fingers as they trail patterns across his cheek.
“That’s great! I’m so happy for you Danni, you know that right?” Despite the fact that everything, including his head, hurts, his smile couldn’t stretch any wider. Danneel and Sophia have been going out for nearly as long as Jared has known them, they act like a married couple so much that sometimes Jared forgets.
Cool fingers hesitate in their pattern and clench harshly into his cheek. Jared refrains from flinching even though the pain is magnified by at least 1000x, because the look on Danneel’s face is the most horrified and confused he has ever seen on her. Danneel is the person people go to for confidence, the person everyone goes to get sense kicked into them. So the look on her face terrifies Jared, it’s like she’s transferring every fear and anxiety into him because it’s just too much for her. He doesn’t need her to say anything for him to understand the thoughts running through her head right now. Jared has known Danneel for so long that her feelings might as well be his.
“Oh no, oh Danneel you can’t really think that Soph won’t say yes.” The twitch that shudders down her body says everything. Jared scoops her up in his arms, turns them around so he’s the wall between her and the world. She feels so small in his clumsy arms, like he can break her any second and it makes Jared realize something.
“You think Sophia will suddenly stop loving you if you propose? Like years of being together through it all means nothing to her? Oh Danni, she loves you so much it’s insane!” He whispers hoarsly, tucking her under his chin like she’s done for him a countless number of times.
“It’s not that Jared. It’s just- what if she realizes that I’m not that strong confident person she fell in love with? Look at me I’m such a pathetic mess.” She’s not crying, Jared doesn’t think he’s ever seen Danneel cry, but she sounds close to it. It makes his arms tighten just a bit.
“I think she knows that you’re not a robot. Sophia fell in love with you and every fault you have. If you’re nervous before you propose I think she’ll understand.” They don’t say anything and Jared doesn’t think that they have to. Danneel isn’t nearly done freaking herself out but Jared can feel the calm slowing down her rapid beating heart.
“Danni?”He says after awhile, adjusting them just a bit because his arm is falling asleep and this angle makes
Jared’s head pound even more.
“Hmm?”
“You are that strong confident woman she fell in love with. You’re the strong, confident, funny, caring and wonderful woman we all fell in love with.” Danneel’s hands wrap around his waist and she snuggles closer. Jared covers them with the blanket and a long time passes in deep silence.
“Jay?” He thought she was asleep, so he looks down at her in mild surprise as Dannel opens her eyes and watches him with a kind pity, with hope.
“Yeah, Danni?”
“He does love you, you know that? And I know you love him just as much. Things don’t make any sense now, and they probably won’t for awhile considering you two, but at some point there’ll be a moment where you understand. You just have to be patient and wait for it to happen. I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about, go back to sleep okay?” She nods slowly and fits her head in the crook of his neck. He doesn’t go back to sleep even though he knows he should, just lays there and watches over his friend as she slowly falls to sleep. After a few moments of deep breathing Jared kisses the top of her head, a reassurance. Minutes turn into an hour and Jared stares up at the ceiling, doesn’t think or move, just counts the deep breathes coming from the body in his arms.
He can’t help but think that maybe, out of all the other times Danneel has been right, this time she might just be wrong.
On to the next part.