It Had To Be You 2a
Previous Part
The next time Jared opens his eyes it’s eleven in the morning and he’s going to be late for his class. He’s not in as much hangover related pain as before, so this time getting up is less of a hassle. Danneel left pretty early during the morning because her side is cold when Jared touches it, he figures she left for her morning shift a few hours before.
Jared takes a piss, washes up, and is just stepping out of his warm shower when he gets a txt. He glances at the screen to see who its from (Danneel) as he's pouring himself a cup of coffee. Chad is sprawled out on the couch passed out and Sophia's taking her own shower in the other bathroom. Jared slips back into his shoes and has to run outside to get to the bus stop. He barely gets there in time to board. When he finds a seat somewhere in the middle he pulls out his phone and reads the txt.
When Jared leaves his Calc class he's wiped. The test had been pretty harsh and Jared was just hungover enough that he forgot some of the formulas Jensen had taught him. Jensen.
Apparently Jensen works at Danneel's coffee/book/ and collectible merchandise store. Yeah, it confuses Jared too but he has to say it's pretty legit. He's debating whether he should txt Danneel back when she answers the question for him.
Jared is powerless against denying her this, he really is. So it isn't much of a surprise when Jared finds himself settling into his car and driving out onto the road. The shop isn't very far from the college, close enough that most of the regulars are from the college crowd. When he parks across the street it feels like it did six months ago parking in front of a Starbucks, the only difference is that now Jared and Jensen aren't together and Instead of a relationship&friendship he's probably going to lose, its a budding tentative friendship.
When Jared opens the door, the bell jingles signaling his arrival and it sounds like an alert, an alarm. This place always smells like freshly made coffee and syrup. He spies Jensen stacking books in the Fantasy Section and Jared's heart jumps into his throat. His palms feel sweaty and his body too big for the room.
“We can’t do this, Jensen. We can’t and we didn’t okay? Please, Jensen.”
Jared's words echo back at him and they sound hollow and unforgiving. He wonders if that's what Jensen heard, wonders what Jensen thought when the world fell. When he actually thinks about it though, he really doesn't want to know so here he is standing between a fork in the road. He can go apologize to Jensen, beg for understanding and plead for something that was ripped away from him. He can go up there and act like nothings wrong or he can leave and talk to Sandy about moving out of the dorms. It's always an option, his dad doesnt live too far from here, or he can crash with Sophia and Danneel.
“I keep telling you not to stare but you never listen to me.”Jesus Christ.
“And I keep telling you not to steal the Lord of the Rings books but you never listen to me. Excuse me if I want to keep you from a life of crime.” Jensen just looks up at Jared, his eyes cutting behind his glasses and his eyebrow raised like nothing happened last night, like things were before Jared went and let things get complicated.
“Yeah sure Jay, one time I forget to put Fellowship of the Rings back and suddenly I’m robbing international banks across the United States.” If this is how Jensen wants to play this then Jared will step back and follow.
“See, told ya Jensen. Not my fault if I’d rather not be hunted down by the FBI for not killing you while I had the chance.”Jensen rolls his eyes and slides a book into its place. He has two more books in his hand that, Jared knows from experience, Jensen is going to buy at the end of his shift.
“Is there a reason I’m being harassed at two in the afternoon or am I just lucky?”
“Just lucky, I guess.” Jared smirks, not really feeling the stretch of his lips. Jensen turns and Jared follows as they make their way to the front desk. It's not as busy of a day as Jared usually sees it, so he doesn't feel guilty about slipping behind the counter. It's not like this is a strange occurrence at any rate, the employees have learned that Jared knows nothing of boundaries and after awhile they stopped mentioning it at all. He cracks his knuckles one by one and notices the tip of a book peeking out from under the counter. Jared picks it up and glances at the front.
“Hey, didn’t I give this to you for your birthday way back when?” Jared holds up the very battered copy of On the Road and looks up at Jensen questioningly. There’s a cold kind of tint to Jensen’s eyes that Jared is more than used to at this point. It's the look that means he wants Jared to shut up.
“Probably, how am I supposed to remember?” Jensen does remember though. Jared gave him this book for his fourteenth birthday -the year before they got together- when he was going through that Kerouac phase. Jensen had been so ecstatic and carried it around for days and since he was a fast reader, it meant he was re-reading over and over again.
Jared remembers one day, a few weeks later, him and Jensen were laying down in Jared’s backyard and watching the stars twinkle in and out of existence. They used to do it all the time growing up, not so much now though and Jared misses it. Jensen had looked at him and asked Jared if he’d be willing to go see the world with him. It was a weird question, something out of the blue that had Jared running circles in his head trying to figure out, and even though he wasn’t sure what Jensen had in mind Jared trusted Jensen with his life. He’d said yes.
“Good.” Is what he’d said. That was it, just good. They never talked about it again, never mentioned it to each other, but at times Jared had liked to fantasize about what it might have been like. To travel the world with Jensen Ackles, that would be a sight to see in and of itself.
“Just looks familiar s’all. Where’s Danni? She wanted to ambush me today.”
Jared hides and buries, ignores and denies at every step that they take. It’s been going on longer than Jared wants to admit and this ‘not talking about it’ thing is wearing him down already and it hasn’t even been 24 hours. Jared wonders if that’s a good thing, if maybe talking could destroy the perfect balance of this delicate web they’ve both spun for themselves.
"She left awhile ago to run some errands."
"Oh." After. few minutes of awkward silence, Jensen goes back out to organize some sections and Jared leaves. He's not looking forward to going back to their dorm later when Jensen's off.
Jared ends up back at Sophia and Danneel's house before the afternoon is up. He feels like he's moving through fog and isn't sure if that's him still getting over the hangover or... something else. For now he's going with hangover, just to clarify. Jared reaches under the mat for the spare key he knows Sophia left out for him and pops open the door. He is immediately hit with the smell of chicken and, sure enough, when he turns the corner he finds... well okay he finds Chad standing at the stove stirring a small pot--wearing a shirt this time. Thankfully.
"Uhm..." Chad turns around and raises an eyebrow.
"Wasn't what you were expecting now was I princess?" Chad is a douche, Jared isn't sure if he's mentioned that before.
"Not even in the slightest. Where's Sophia?" Jared hops up on the counter and kicks his feet back and forth, ignoring Chad's eye roll.
"Danneel was having car trouble so she drove out to pick her up. Her shift ends in an hour anyways so she decided to just come home." Jared nods his head and takes a peek at what's cooking.
"What you got there, Julia Childs?" Chad flips him off and continues stirring. Jared didn’t think he was going to answer until Chad places the spoon aside and leans an elbow against the counter.
"Sophia was warming up chicken soup before she left. She told me to quote, 'stir it occasionally and don't burn down the house', unquote." Jared laughs, yup that sounds like Sophia.
"She was making it for you, you know." Chad has that serious look on his face again.
"I figured, I'll thank her when she gets back." There's silence and Jared thinks that's all he's going to hear about this.
"What happened last night Jay? Sandy was panicking when she caught sight of you leaving you know, called me all frantic and stuff. I told her you were just being stupid, was right huh?" Jared smiles a bit, just a quick upturn of his lips. That's Chad for you, apologize awkward but he still tries.
"I'm fine. Tell you guys later alright?" he adds when Chad just keeps on looking at him.
"Alright, man. You're call." Speaking of calls, Jared's phone starts to vibrate in his pocket. He hops off the counter and answers the call as he walks into the living room.
"JT?"
"Megan! Hey kiddo, what's up?"
"Chad called daddy last night and apparently you're 'going through shit and being a little princess about it'" Jared nods slowly, walks back into the kitchen and slaps Chad upside the head. The yelp is surprisingly entertaining.
"Was that Chad?"
"Nah kiddo, it was a squirrel." Chad flips him off "And hey you, watch your language." Jared can practically hear her eye roll.
"I'm in high school, JT. I hear worse than that on a good day."
"Uh-huh, sure Meggy, sure." Jared hears the click of the door being unlocked and turns around to watch Danneel throw the door open, bags of groceries clutched in her hands.
"Are you sure you're alright Jared? I only ever heard Chad that serious two times, and you know how serious those were too." Jared glances into the kitchen and watches as Chad fights Sophia for the spoon, pieces of vegetable flying. Yeah, Jared knows.
"He was drunk last night Megan, there's nothing to worry about okay? I'm perfectly fine, visit you guys soon okay?" He's about to hang up, his fingers hovering over the 'end' button when he hears Megan scream "Wait!" so loud that everyone in the kitchen turns towards him.
"What's wrong?"
"It's mom's anniversary soon. You're gonna come down with us right?" Jared sobers up quick, lowering his head and crossing an arm over his chest.
"Yeah kiddo, of course. I'll see you guys next week." When they hang up, Jared slips his phone back into his pocket and sighs. Another year gone and passed.
"Did you want us to go down with you guys?" Sophia asks. She's pouring the soup into a bowl, Danneel and Chad flanked on both of her sides. They're looking at Jared, eyes all knowing with knowledge he wishes they didn’t.
"Duh! You guys come along every year. Momma would be disappointed in you if you didn't." Jared can smile about it now, smile in general actually, and it took a long time to get to this point. He's learned to celebrate the years he had than the years they all lost out on. Doesn't mean that a part of him doesn't wish for her number to be in his contacts or for her smile and her advice. She could tell him how to deal with Jensen.
They eat soup in relative silence, the TV on low in the background as the last bite gets eaten. Jared takes the dishes to the kitchen and settles in with them when everyone makes their way to the couch. They're arguing on which movie to watch -sci-fi to romantic comedies- when the doorbell rings. Chad goes up to answer it and Jared keeps trying to tell Danneel that Eat, Pray, Love is a crappy movie and if she likes it so much she should just read the damn book.
"Why would I read the book if I have a perfectly good DVD-- Oh hello." Jared is hiding said DVD under the couch when something knocks into him from behind, hands wrapping around his neck. Horrifying flash back from last night: check.
"You big stupid, stubborn asshole."
"That's what he said?" Chad gets smacked by Aldis this time and the betrayal on his face is priceless. Jared flips Sandy around so she's sitting in his lap and he ruffles her hair, ignoring her prissy pout.
"Nice to see you too, Sandy! I've had a fine day, how about you?" Jared holds up the Batman movie and tosses it to Sophia who gladly slips it into the player before Danneel has anything to say about it. She hates that stupid movie more than Jared does.
"Shut up, you're a mean mean boy and I don't like you anymore." She climbs out of his lap and settles down next to him, Chad and Aldis settling on the floor because Sandy decided to lay down, her head resting in the curve of Jared's hip.
"You're boney." She says as the previews start.
"I'll take that as a compliment. How'd you guys know I was here anyway?"
"Chad." They both say at once. Jared may or may not have kicked Chad in the side as the movie starts
The Joker makes his appearance and Bruce Wayne has angst when Sandy starts to poke Jared. At first he tries to ignore her but she's persistent and starts to jam her finger into his ribs.
"Ow! Why are you causing me bodily harm?"
"What happened last night? I saw Jensen this morning you know, right before he left for work, and he looked like shit and then some." Jared feels five pairs of eyes land on him and it’s like everyone was waiting for Sandy to make the first move, as far as he knows they probably were.
“How is all of you guys know about Jensen’s new job instead of me? Aren’t I supposed to be his roommate, or is there something you guys aren’t telling me?” Everyone just stares at him and yeah, okay so Jared didn’t actually expect that to work.
“Jensen and I almost slept together last night.” Silence, and then,
“Wait... what do you mean you almost slept with him?” Danneel asks. The movie is on pause and Jared wonders when that happened, he’s been doing a lot of that lately.
“I think he means that penis was not inserted into-”
“I KNOW WHAT HE MEANS.” She screeches, her hands flying up to cover her ears. Sophia throws a pillow at Aldis’ face and he knocks into Chad trying to avoid it.
“Then why did you ask?” Aldis asks, voice muffled by the pillow. He doesn’t look like he’s even going to bother and get up.
“I just, you know what? Shut up.”
“That doesn’t really answer the question Jared, what happened?” Sandy looks straight at him and ignores everyone else. Jared loves and hates that about her, she gets right down to the point and doesn't let it go no matter what.
"I stopped it before anything happened, I'm pretty sure Aldis just explained that."
"Jared." He sighs, looks out the window across from them. Jared tries not to imagine himself back there, tries not to think about what would have happened if he’d gone through with it. It would have only ended in disaster, he knows that, but knowing that doesn’t help him at all.
"I couldn't let it happen Sands, it would have screwed everything up even more."
"Jared, I don't think you understand that, by stopping when you did, you screwed it up in an entirely different way."
"No Sandy, I don't think any of you understand. I couldn't go through with this alright? He already hurt me once and I couldn't let it happen again, because..."
"Because what, Jay?" Chad asks. He's sitting up straight, looking right at Jared. It unnerves him to no end.
"Because I already told Jensen that I loved him, once! I was having a freaking panic attack just thinking about having go through all of this again." Jared doesn't want to be here anymore. The room is too small, there are too many people here listening and he doesn’t need to break down in front of everyone. He’s standing up when Danneel grabs his elbow and pulls him back down, his glare of betrayal couldn't have been more clear.
“Look hon, you don’t know how bad I wish I could tell you how to fix this, because I do, but there just isn’t anything that I can tell you that you don’t already know. The only thing I can say is what I did last time. What was it that I told you Jared?”
“I'm telling you this because I love you Jay, and what I'm saying is that you need to stop being stubborn, go back to your dorm, and talk to him.... he deserves to be heard, and you need to listen to what he has to say.”
“Dammit, Danni.”
“Now shut up, the Joker’s being bad ass over here.”
She was right though, and it bothered Jared just how much she made sense in that one moment. But at the time she didn’t, at the time Jared didn’t understand. He does now though, but it took a hell of a lot to get him there.
When Jared makes it back to the dorms he still has no clue what to do about the 'Jensen issue'. Just thinking about it makes his head hurt and he would gladly ever think about it again, but of course that thought only lasts for .2 seconds before he opens his door and literally comes face to face with his problems-- it's like god hates him or something. Jensen is his roommate and Jared knows that the odds were against him still being out when Jared made it back but it doesn't stop the urge to 'run you stupid motherfucker, run' from spreading throughout every bone in his body.
He stands awkwardly in the doorway, one foot in and one foot out as he weighs his options. Obviously, Jared never got the memo that it was a little too late for that now.
“What’re you doing? Close the door.” After a few moments of silence, in which Jensen raises that freaking eyebrow of his at Jared again, he closes the door softly and ignores the fact that outside feels a hell of a lot safer than inside right about now. Jensen goes back to ignoring him after that, to what Jared assumes is his homework. Jared moves from standing awkwardly in the doorway to standing awkwardly in the room, it takes him longer than he’d like to realize that.
He goes through the motions of getting ready for bed, changing his shirt and slipping into flannel pants since it’s been getting cold out lately. Jared makes a mental note of this moment as the most awkward in his life so far, and that list runs on pretty long so that’s saying something. After Jared’s done though, no matter how awkwardly complicated the clothes changing was, there really isn’t anything for him to do but focus on the quite large pink elephant in the room. Jared really doesn’t want to go anywhere near it, but of course his mouth decides that putting Jared in even more awkward positions is quite entertaining.
“Jensen, about what happened last night, I-”
“Jared, you were piss drunk and I was horny and riding a buzz, what happened last night didn’t mean anything but sex that didn’t happen.” He doesn’t even look up from his notebook and that stings, a lot. And fine, if that’s how Jensen’s playing it then Jared can go along with that shit too, whoever said Jared couldn’t be calm and follow rules is a bitch who doesn’t know anything.
“Glad we got that covered, man.” Jensen nods and Jared’s hand tightens into a fist. Jared’s mouth should be proud of it’s fucking self because his heart feels five sizes too small and he’s never going to use the traitor ever again.
When the lights go out and all Jared can hear are the deep slow sounds of Jensen sleeping, Jared let’s himself look. It feels like that’s all he can ever do.
On to the next part.
The next time Jared opens his eyes it’s eleven in the morning and he’s going to be late for his class. He’s not in as much hangover related pain as before, so this time getting up is less of a hassle. Danneel left pretty early during the morning because her side is cold when Jared touches it, he figures she left for her morning shift a few hours before.
Jared takes a piss, washes up, and is just stepping out of his warm shower when he gets a txt. He glances at the screen to see who its from (Danneel) as he's pouring himself a cup of coffee. Chad is sprawled out on the couch passed out and Sophia's taking her own shower in the other bathroom. Jared slips back into his shoes and has to run outside to get to the bus stop. He barely gets there in time to board. When he finds a seat somewhere in the middle he pulls out his phone and reads the txt.
When Jared leaves his Calc class he's wiped. The test had been pretty harsh and Jared was just hungover enough that he forgot some of the formulas Jensen had taught him. Jensen.
Apparently Jensen works at Danneel's coffee/book/ and collectible merchandise store. Yeah, it confuses Jared too but he has to say it's pretty legit. He's debating whether he should txt Danneel back when she answers the question for him.
Jared is powerless against denying her this, he really is. So it isn't much of a surprise when Jared finds himself settling into his car and driving out onto the road. The shop isn't very far from the college, close enough that most of the regulars are from the college crowd. When he parks across the street it feels like it did six months ago parking in front of a Starbucks, the only difference is that now Jared and Jensen aren't together and Instead of a relationship&friendship he's probably going to lose, its a budding tentative friendship.
When Jared opens the door, the bell jingles signaling his arrival and it sounds like an alert, an alarm. This place always smells like freshly made coffee and syrup. He spies Jensen stacking books in the Fantasy Section and Jared's heart jumps into his throat. His palms feel sweaty and his body too big for the room.
“We can’t do this, Jensen. We can’t and we didn’t okay? Please, Jensen.”
Jared's words echo back at him and they sound hollow and unforgiving. He wonders if that's what Jensen heard, wonders what Jensen thought when the world fell. When he actually thinks about it though, he really doesn't want to know so here he is standing between a fork in the road. He can go apologize to Jensen, beg for understanding and plead for something that was ripped away from him. He can go up there and act like nothings wrong or he can leave and talk to Sandy about moving out of the dorms. It's always an option, his dad doesnt live too far from here, or he can crash with Sophia and Danneel.
“I keep telling you not to stare but you never listen to me.”Jesus Christ.
“And I keep telling you not to steal the Lord of the Rings books but you never listen to me. Excuse me if I want to keep you from a life of crime.” Jensen just looks up at Jared, his eyes cutting behind his glasses and his eyebrow raised like nothing happened last night, like things were before Jared went and let things get complicated.
“Yeah sure Jay, one time I forget to put Fellowship of the Rings back and suddenly I’m robbing international banks across the United States.” If this is how Jensen wants to play this then Jared will step back and follow.
“See, told ya Jensen. Not my fault if I’d rather not be hunted down by the FBI for not killing you while I had the chance.”Jensen rolls his eyes and slides a book into its place. He has two more books in his hand that, Jared knows from experience, Jensen is going to buy at the end of his shift.
“Is there a reason I’m being harassed at two in the afternoon or am I just lucky?”
“Just lucky, I guess.” Jared smirks, not really feeling the stretch of his lips. Jensen turns and Jared follows as they make their way to the front desk. It's not as busy of a day as Jared usually sees it, so he doesn't feel guilty about slipping behind the counter. It's not like this is a strange occurrence at any rate, the employees have learned that Jared knows nothing of boundaries and after awhile they stopped mentioning it at all. He cracks his knuckles one by one and notices the tip of a book peeking out from under the counter. Jared picks it up and glances at the front.
“Hey, didn’t I give this to you for your birthday way back when?” Jared holds up the very battered copy of On the Road and looks up at Jensen questioningly. There’s a cold kind of tint to Jensen’s eyes that Jared is more than used to at this point. It's the look that means he wants Jared to shut up.
“Probably, how am I supposed to remember?” Jensen does remember though. Jared gave him this book for his fourteenth birthday -the year before they got together- when he was going through that Kerouac phase. Jensen had been so ecstatic and carried it around for days and since he was a fast reader, it meant he was re-reading over and over again.
Jared remembers one day, a few weeks later, him and Jensen were laying down in Jared’s backyard and watching the stars twinkle in and out of existence. They used to do it all the time growing up, not so much now though and Jared misses it. Jensen had looked at him and asked Jared if he’d be willing to go see the world with him. It was a weird question, something out of the blue that had Jared running circles in his head trying to figure out, and even though he wasn’t sure what Jensen had in mind Jared trusted Jensen with his life. He’d said yes.
“Good.” Is what he’d said. That was it, just good. They never talked about it again, never mentioned it to each other, but at times Jared had liked to fantasize about what it might have been like. To travel the world with Jensen Ackles, that would be a sight to see in and of itself.
“Just looks familiar s’all. Where’s Danni? She wanted to ambush me today.”
Jared hides and buries, ignores and denies at every step that they take. It’s been going on longer than Jared wants to admit and this ‘not talking about it’ thing is wearing him down already and it hasn’t even been 24 hours. Jared wonders if that’s a good thing, if maybe talking could destroy the perfect balance of this delicate web they’ve both spun for themselves.
"She left awhile ago to run some errands."
"Oh." After. few minutes of awkward silence, Jensen goes back out to organize some sections and Jared leaves. He's not looking forward to going back to their dorm later when Jensen's off.
Jared ends up back at Sophia and Danneel's house before the afternoon is up. He feels like he's moving through fog and isn't sure if that's him still getting over the hangover or... something else. For now he's going with hangover, just to clarify. Jared reaches under the mat for the spare key he knows Sophia left out for him and pops open the door. He is immediately hit with the smell of chicken and, sure enough, when he turns the corner he finds... well okay he finds Chad standing at the stove stirring a small pot--wearing a shirt this time. Thankfully.
"Uhm..." Chad turns around and raises an eyebrow.
"Wasn't what you were expecting now was I princess?" Chad is a douche, Jared isn't sure if he's mentioned that before.
"Not even in the slightest. Where's Sophia?" Jared hops up on the counter and kicks his feet back and forth, ignoring Chad's eye roll.
"Danneel was having car trouble so she drove out to pick her up. Her shift ends in an hour anyways so she decided to just come home." Jared nods his head and takes a peek at what's cooking.
"What you got there, Julia Childs?" Chad flips him off and continues stirring. Jared didn’t think he was going to answer until Chad places the spoon aside and leans an elbow against the counter.
"Sophia was warming up chicken soup before she left. She told me to quote, 'stir it occasionally and don't burn down the house', unquote." Jared laughs, yup that sounds like Sophia.
"She was making it for you, you know." Chad has that serious look on his face again.
"I figured, I'll thank her when she gets back." There's silence and Jared thinks that's all he's going to hear about this.
"What happened last night Jay? Sandy was panicking when she caught sight of you leaving you know, called me all frantic and stuff. I told her you were just being stupid, was right huh?" Jared smiles a bit, just a quick upturn of his lips. That's Chad for you, apologize awkward but he still tries.
"I'm fine. Tell you guys later alright?" he adds when Chad just keeps on looking at him.
"Alright, man. You're call." Speaking of calls, Jared's phone starts to vibrate in his pocket. He hops off the counter and answers the call as he walks into the living room.
"JT?"
"Megan! Hey kiddo, what's up?"
"Chad called daddy last night and apparently you're 'going through shit and being a little princess about it'" Jared nods slowly, walks back into the kitchen and slaps Chad upside the head. The yelp is surprisingly entertaining.
"Was that Chad?"
"Nah kiddo, it was a squirrel." Chad flips him off "And hey you, watch your language." Jared can practically hear her eye roll.
"I'm in high school, JT. I hear worse than that on a good day."
"Uh-huh, sure Meggy, sure." Jared hears the click of the door being unlocked and turns around to watch Danneel throw the door open, bags of groceries clutched in her hands.
"Are you sure you're alright Jared? I only ever heard Chad that serious two times, and you know how serious those were too." Jared glances into the kitchen and watches as Chad fights Sophia for the spoon, pieces of vegetable flying. Yeah, Jared knows.
"He was drunk last night Megan, there's nothing to worry about okay? I'm perfectly fine, visit you guys soon okay?" He's about to hang up, his fingers hovering over the 'end' button when he hears Megan scream "Wait!" so loud that everyone in the kitchen turns towards him.
"What's wrong?"
"It's mom's anniversary soon. You're gonna come down with us right?" Jared sobers up quick, lowering his head and crossing an arm over his chest.
"Yeah kiddo, of course. I'll see you guys next week." When they hang up, Jared slips his phone back into his pocket and sighs. Another year gone and passed.
"Did you want us to go down with you guys?" Sophia asks. She's pouring the soup into a bowl, Danneel and Chad flanked on both of her sides. They're looking at Jared, eyes all knowing with knowledge he wishes they didn’t.
"Duh! You guys come along every year. Momma would be disappointed in you if you didn't." Jared can smile about it now, smile in general actually, and it took a long time to get to this point. He's learned to celebrate the years he had than the years they all lost out on. Doesn't mean that a part of him doesn't wish for her number to be in his contacts or for her smile and her advice. She could tell him how to deal with Jensen.
They eat soup in relative silence, the TV on low in the background as the last bite gets eaten. Jared takes the dishes to the kitchen and settles in with them when everyone makes their way to the couch. They're arguing on which movie to watch -sci-fi to romantic comedies- when the doorbell rings. Chad goes up to answer it and Jared keeps trying to tell Danneel that Eat, Pray, Love is a crappy movie and if she likes it so much she should just read the damn book.
"Why would I read the book if I have a perfectly good DVD-- Oh hello." Jared is hiding said DVD under the couch when something knocks into him from behind, hands wrapping around his neck. Horrifying flash back from last night: check.
"You big stupid, stubborn asshole."
"That's what he said?" Chad gets smacked by Aldis this time and the betrayal on his face is priceless. Jared flips Sandy around so she's sitting in his lap and he ruffles her hair, ignoring her prissy pout.
"Nice to see you too, Sandy! I've had a fine day, how about you?" Jared holds up the Batman movie and tosses it to Sophia who gladly slips it into the player before Danneel has anything to say about it. She hates that stupid movie more than Jared does.
"Shut up, you're a mean mean boy and I don't like you anymore." She climbs out of his lap and settles down next to him, Chad and Aldis settling on the floor because Sandy decided to lay down, her head resting in the curve of Jared's hip.
"You're boney." She says as the previews start.
"I'll take that as a compliment. How'd you guys know I was here anyway?"
"Chad." They both say at once. Jared may or may not have kicked Chad in the side as the movie starts
The Joker makes his appearance and Bruce Wayne has angst when Sandy starts to poke Jared. At first he tries to ignore her but she's persistent and starts to jam her finger into his ribs.
"Ow! Why are you causing me bodily harm?"
"What happened last night? I saw Jensen this morning you know, right before he left for work, and he looked like shit and then some." Jared feels five pairs of eyes land on him and it’s like everyone was waiting for Sandy to make the first move, as far as he knows they probably were.
“How is all of you guys know about Jensen’s new job instead of me? Aren’t I supposed to be his roommate, or is there something you guys aren’t telling me?” Everyone just stares at him and yeah, okay so Jared didn’t actually expect that to work.
“Jensen and I almost slept together last night.” Silence, and then,
“Wait... what do you mean you almost slept with him?” Danneel asks. The movie is on pause and Jared wonders when that happened, he’s been doing a lot of that lately.
“I think he means that penis was not inserted into-”
“I KNOW WHAT HE MEANS.” She screeches, her hands flying up to cover her ears. Sophia throws a pillow at Aldis’ face and he knocks into Chad trying to avoid it.
“Then why did you ask?” Aldis asks, voice muffled by the pillow. He doesn’t look like he’s even going to bother and get up.
“I just, you know what? Shut up.”
“That doesn’t really answer the question Jared, what happened?” Sandy looks straight at him and ignores everyone else. Jared loves and hates that about her, she gets right down to the point and doesn't let it go no matter what.
"I stopped it before anything happened, I'm pretty sure Aldis just explained that."
"Jared." He sighs, looks out the window across from them. Jared tries not to imagine himself back there, tries not to think about what would have happened if he’d gone through with it. It would have only ended in disaster, he knows that, but knowing that doesn’t help him at all.
"I couldn't let it happen Sands, it would have screwed everything up even more."
"Jared, I don't think you understand that, by stopping when you did, you screwed it up in an entirely different way."
"No Sandy, I don't think any of you understand. I couldn't go through with this alright? He already hurt me once and I couldn't let it happen again, because..."
"Because what, Jay?" Chad asks. He's sitting up straight, looking right at Jared. It unnerves him to no end.
"Because I already told Jensen that I loved him, once! I was having a freaking panic attack just thinking about having go through all of this again." Jared doesn't want to be here anymore. The room is too small, there are too many people here listening and he doesn’t need to break down in front of everyone. He’s standing up when Danneel grabs his elbow and pulls him back down, his glare of betrayal couldn't have been more clear.
“Look hon, you don’t know how bad I wish I could tell you how to fix this, because I do, but there just isn’t anything that I can tell you that you don’t already know. The only thing I can say is what I did last time. What was it that I told you Jared?”
“I'm telling you this because I love you Jay, and what I'm saying is that you need to stop being stubborn, go back to your dorm, and talk to him.... he deserves to be heard, and you need to listen to what he has to say.”
“Dammit, Danni.”
“Now shut up, the Joker’s being bad ass over here.”
She was right though, and it bothered Jared just how much she made sense in that one moment. But at the time she didn’t, at the time Jared didn’t understand. He does now though, but it took a hell of a lot to get him there.
When Jared makes it back to the dorms he still has no clue what to do about the 'Jensen issue'. Just thinking about it makes his head hurt and he would gladly ever think about it again, but of course that thought only lasts for .2 seconds before he opens his door and literally comes face to face with his problems-- it's like god hates him or something. Jensen is his roommate and Jared knows that the odds were against him still being out when Jared made it back but it doesn't stop the urge to 'run you stupid motherfucker, run' from spreading throughout every bone in his body.
He stands awkwardly in the doorway, one foot in and one foot out as he weighs his options. Obviously, Jared never got the memo that it was a little too late for that now.
“What’re you doing? Close the door.” After a few moments of silence, in which Jensen raises that freaking eyebrow of his at Jared again, he closes the door softly and ignores the fact that outside feels a hell of a lot safer than inside right about now. Jensen goes back to ignoring him after that, to what Jared assumes is his homework. Jared moves from standing awkwardly in the doorway to standing awkwardly in the room, it takes him longer than he’d like to realize that.
He goes through the motions of getting ready for bed, changing his shirt and slipping into flannel pants since it’s been getting cold out lately. Jared makes a mental note of this moment as the most awkward in his life so far, and that list runs on pretty long so that’s saying something. After Jared’s done though, no matter how awkwardly complicated the clothes changing was, there really isn’t anything for him to do but focus on the quite large pink elephant in the room. Jared really doesn’t want to go anywhere near it, but of course his mouth decides that putting Jared in even more awkward positions is quite entertaining.
“Jensen, about what happened last night, I-”
“Jared, you were piss drunk and I was horny and riding a buzz, what happened last night didn’t mean anything but sex that didn’t happen.” He doesn’t even look up from his notebook and that stings, a lot. And fine, if that’s how Jensen’s playing it then Jared can go along with that shit too, whoever said Jared couldn’t be calm and follow rules is a bitch who doesn’t know anything.
“Glad we got that covered, man.” Jensen nods and Jared’s hand tightens into a fist. Jared’s mouth should be proud of it’s fucking self because his heart feels five sizes too small and he’s never going to use the traitor ever again.
When the lights go out and all Jared can hear are the deep slow sounds of Jensen sleeping, Jared let’s himself look. It feels like that’s all he can ever do.
On to the next part.