I spent my night tonight ( Read more... )

its overcast and quiet
the bedspread fell to the floor
three or four hours ago
im terribly cold
but i cant seem to pick it up.

the first thing that i want to say is

i'm sorry

i'm sorry for alot of shit.
im sorry i was a bitch
im sorry i was so mean
im sorry i got fat
im sorry i'm selfish
i'm sorry i didnt understand
im sorry i got old
im sorry i drink when im confused.
im sorry im drunk right now
im sorry i spend money i dont have
im sorry im so moody
im sorry i depended on you for so ( Read more... )

in the middle of 2005 ( Read more... )

the way the heat makes this small apartment smell

the way no one comes thru the front door

the way my fingers sound on the keyboard

the way the beer cans pile up

the way the minutes pass into hours into morning

the way the phone never rings

the way everything is happening again....

anyone in the seattle area know of anything happening toinght?

Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc ( Read more... )

one thirty
in the middle of late july

this beds empty
and i couldnt sleep in it at all

waiting around all day
for someone
who told me they would be here

told me they would come
and lay with me,
hold me,
let me sleep in this hot hot heat

waiting for nothing.

i think i read too many books

too much fiction

im still waiting for my life to be a novel

or for someones hands to wrap themselves over every part of my body and make this life a physical one governed by desire and carnal lust. calm these thoughts. run your rough hands over my sensitive flesh.

then my mind can be quiet.

what is the past

what is the future

what matters to us besides this very moment?