well everyone, these past few days have been hell on fucking earth...my mood has been so damn dark & i havent really seen much point in carrying on like this... but things are turning around for the most part. i guess that is all i really want to say.

today has been pretty blah. i did nothing except go to the store to buy dinner (ben & jerrys phish food ice cream) and watched basketball (go louisville!) pretty hum drum. right now i am at jims work... using the computer. i better wrap it up & get ready to take him home. more later i guess.

i dont understand how there is this constant underlying feeling of sadness & loss. the anniversary of my fathers death is coming up in april & to be totally honest i know i havent even begun the grieving process... i have pushed it away... but i know that i will have to deal one day. i wish i knew how to feel... i wish i knew what to say & do, but ( Read more... )

today i feel disconnnected from myself... i dont know if it is the seroquel or the nap i took or both, but i definately feel odd. blah. i really havent accomplished anything today. i got up, took a shower, got dressed, picked up around the apartment, took a nap & took jim to work. so exciting. sometimes i wonder if i even want this life i am ( Read more... )

i am irritated by everything today. the weather, these hard chairs, my growling stomach, it goes on & on. i woke up with a migraine this morning... it isnt gone yet even though i took my imitrex. i hate migraines. hate hate hate. i was going to go to process group, but i decided against it... i just dont fucking feel like it. i think i will go home ( Read more... )

i just wrote this entire tirade, but i was so fucking ashamed of some of the shit i said i deleted it. i am mad at myself for deleting it... but anyway ( Read more... )

well... it looks like after another brief stay in the hospital i am finally getting discharged tomorrow. thank goddess! things have been going okay for the most part. money is still tight & i still have oodles of things i need to do, but the thing is i don.t want to do them. imagine that. i am attempting to get re.enrolled in school & finish up my ( Read more... )

You Are 27 Years Old

27

surprise, surprise... btw, i.m 25 ( Read more... )

well anyone who cares, i am finally out of the damn psych hospital. i.ve got an apartment of my own... and will be soon looking for the company of a cat. it.s weird being back out here in the "real world" but hell i am loving it.... i think all of my friends & stuff sorta forgot about my existance, but i guess the longer i am around, the better the ( Read more... )

unfortunately, i am still in larue carter (psych hosp.) i have been there since march. i am trying to get housing squared away, but it is difficult as hell to do so in this town living on social security & that.s it. other than alll of that... i am doing okay. hoping & praying that this election causes some sort of social awareness... there has ( Read more... )