Daily Prophet - Sports Section
Date: Thursday, 8 June, 2000
Time: Morning Edition
Characters Involved: The Daily Prophet
Rating: G
Broom Matters Sweep Pitches
By “Pitch” Malbum
This week’s opening series for all teams of the British and Irish Quidditch League, save the Appleby Arrows who meet the Wimbourne Wasps next week in their opening games of the season, was marred only by controversial broom choices by certain teams and some radical players. After the dominance of the Cleansweep 14 in previous professional matches, it was a shocker for fans to see not only the latest model, the Cleansweep 15 in use, but also the Firebolt 2000 and the Nimbus 2012. Quidditch statisticians and broom experts were amazed at the sudden break with the tradition of all team members using the same broom. Kennilworthy Whisp, noted Quidditch historian, was unavailable for comment, but his house-elf Kolby assured this reporter that Prophet readers would have his valued opinion soon. “He’s combing his broom ‘Pitch’, I’ll tell him you called.”
Cleansweep Broom Company spokeswarlock Maddox Mumford was quick to respond to this reporter’s inquiries. “We expect the Cleansweep 15 to become the standard in Professional Quidditch this season,” Mr. Mumford assured, “The improved handling of this new model will appeal not only to our most demanding players, but also the witch or warlock who likes a nimble touch on a broom for home use. Excellence in Handling has been the hallmark of our company for centuries, and this new millennium will be no exception.”
Faithful readers should look to The Prophet for the latest news on the broom front. Your own “Pitch” Malbum has arranged with Quality Quidditch Supplies in Diagon Alley to test out all three brooms and report back to you, our valued readers.
In Quidditch results this week, the Wigtown Wanderers are off to a flying start this season, but no lot of fans are more thrilled than the Chudley Cannons, who are not in last place. The Holyhead Harpies have been hurt by the suspension of their controversial rookie Chaser pending investigation by Q.U.A.C.K. and the International Association of Quidditch. Findings are expected by early next week. The Montrose Magpies had no excuse for their pitiful performance in the pitch this week.
Quidditch Standings
Team
Total
Wigtown Wanderers
500
Kenmare Kestrels
490
Puddlemere United
480
Pride of Portree
460
Wimbourne Wasps
430
Tuthill Tornados
420
Caerphilly Catapults
310
Ballycastle Bats
300
Falmouth Falcons
280
Chudley Cannons
260
Holyhead Harpies
240
Montrose Magpies
240
Appleby Arrows*
Opening Day June 12