Remember When ~ Chapter Thirteen - part one -
Each of us has a special day every year. A day that some of us wait with growing excitement while others wait for it with fear in their heart. A day that we will celebrate with our friends, partying till the morning or maybe with a quiet dinner, surrounded by the most important people to us. We wake up with a smile in the morning, knowing that it will be a perfect day for us, a day full of laughter and happiness. Sometimes, we will wake up grumpy because we know we will be alone on the most special day of the year for us.
But in the end, we are never alone. Even if they won’t be next to us, our friends’ thoughts will definitely reach us. Even if we can’t see our family, we know that they wish us all the best and that they are cheering for us and want to see us happy. And even if we spend the whole day working and being busy with things that shouldn’t matter on this day... we’ll still smile. Because we know that there will be someone special waiting for us when night falls.
And today... today is Kamenashi Kazuya’s special day.
He had to admit that he hadn’t been very excited about it when his friends hinted about hanging out on Wednesday. He had smiled like he always did and promised that they’ll talk about it later. But when he left them, he realized something. This will be the first year when he won’t be alone. This will be the first time, after so many years, to spend his birthday with Jin.
A grin replaced the tired face. He couldn’t help not making plans in his head or dreaming with his eyes closed about how will it be. If he remembered right, he had a free day and Jin had already finished his concerts so he will be free too.
He chuckled to himself, remembering the last concert of Jin’s. After that night, he had forgiven Jin, though he hadn’t said so clearly, still trying to maintain his tough act. The older one had called him every night, talking about silly things and each time ending with Jin’s whining about how they couldn’t meet. They even spent an hour talking on the phone on Valentine’s Day, a day that gave Kazuya the opportunity to set up his punishment for the little womanizer that was called Jin. The older had been pouting for three days after that because Kazuya didn’t get him anything while the older one had send chocolates with a bunny doll. In the end, Kazuya had managed to convince Jin to forgive him by appearing unexpectedly at the recording studio and dragging him to a closet to make out for fifteen minutes before sending him back. And promised to return his show of love on White Day, now his punishment complete. Patience wasn’t one of Jin’s strong points and Kazuya knew this the best.
Although White Day was still far, the grin on Jin’s face didn’t disappear for the whole week and Kazuya went to bed on the eve of his birthday thinking at Jin’s expression and wondering what he’ll be receiving the next day from his lover.
But he didn’t expect to be woken up so early.
Ding…dong! Ding…dong!
Kazuya covered his ears with the pillow, grunting displeased. He tossed in the bed, finally throwing off the sheets on the floor, cursing whoever was at the door on his goddamned free day! He got off the bed and stomped angrily towards the door, with a murderous aura surrounding him.
“I’m coming!!” he yelled seeing the doorbell was still ringing. God! It wasn’t like he was deaf or something, he thought as he pulled open the door, annoyance written all over his face. “Yes?!” he asked with a harsher tone, though he didn’t intend to say it that way.
And that’s when the shock came with a bundle of flowers shoved into his face. There was a large - though ‘large’ was little said - bouquet of different flowers and of different colors. He looked baffled at the person who had handed it to him.
“Umm…” he began but he was interrupted.
“The most special day has started. Enjoy the first phase.”
“Huh?!” Kazuya asked bewildered but the delivery man just smiled and bowed before turning and leaving.
Kazuya remained still with the combined scent of the flowers filling his nostrils. He finally closed the door and returned to his living, wondering if he had a vase large enough to put the flowers in the water. Lucky for him, he did have one and after he took off the wrapping, that’s when he found them - the small notes attached to each flower. As Kazuya noticed they had a specific order and each note carried a number and a message. He looked after no. 1 and found a beautiful and white flower with it. He recognized it as being magnolia. He read the message and smiled.
Because you’re my sweetie.
Even if the delivery man didn’t mention anything and Kazuya had been clueless at the sender, now he was sure who it was. His little baka boyfriend.
He put the flower in the vase carefully and then he searched for the following number. He found another white and fully opened flower, this time carrying a different message. They were white camellia.
Because you’re adorable.
That… he was fully aware, Kazuya laughed, feeling his cheeks burn. He never knew that seeing his lover’s handwriting saying such words could make him feel so embarrassed and happy. He looked for the next number.
This time it was a yellow lily, a single one. It carried the message that made his heart beat harder and once more realize that he was happier to hear - in this case, see - Jin saying…
Because you’re beautiful.
Next, there were some particular flowers, though he wasn’t that sure they were fully fledged flowers, more like decorating plants. He laughed a little at his lover’s choice. Nevertheless, they gave off a nice and fresh scent. Kazuya read the message.
Because you’re my lucky star.
On the back of the note, there was something more which made Kazuya laugh even harder. Now he knew what kind of flowers were this - bells of Ireland. They bring luck, it said and Kazuya felt his heart warm at Jin’s explanation. He put the flowers in the vase too.
The fifth number was attached to hyacinth. The purple color of the flower and the rising scent made Kazuya sniff it a little, wearing a delighted expression. Then he read the message.
Because I’m sorry I always make you worry about me.
Jin was such a baka, Kazuya thought as his lower lip trembled a little. Of course he’d worry about him, otherwise… he wouldn’t be in love with him, right? There wasn’t a need for apologizes. He sniffed once more the hyacinth before placing it into the vase, looking lovingly at all the flowers. Each one held a meaning, the ones he had in Jin’s heart.
He looked for the next number and took out pink flowers; they were azalea. Kazuya smiled at the message and added the flowers into the vase.
Because I want to take care of you.
The seventh number surprised him the most. There were snowdrops, innocent and fresh looking. It wasn’t spring yet, Kazuya thought and for a moment, it felt like it already came. He touched the white heads of the flowers, enjoying the soft feeling.
Because you’re my best friend.
That indeed he was. Alongside with Pi and Ryo, Kazuya chuckled softly, going to get another vase, because the snowdrops needed a smaller one because of their size. When he returned, he looked for no. 8.
Again, the surprise overcame him. He found other small flowers and these ones were similar to snowdrops. They were called lily-of-the-valley, as they always bloomed on rainy days.
Because we’ll always make up after a fight.
That’s what the message said and Kazuya couldn’t help but agree. Even with the Aubree incident, Kazuya had forgiven Jin; had given him another chance. Because that’s how they were - unable to keep away from each other. And somehow, Kazuya noticed this only after Jin came back from his second US tour. He realized that whatever Jin would do, he would forgive him, because they have been - he had been - deprived from this love for far too long. They needn’t lose anymore time with silly fights and unwanted insecurities. And he was willing to give it all for their relationship to work - even forgetting and forgiving his adventure with Aubree. Although, he hoped this would be the first and the last, because next time…
Kazuya shook his head to chase away the dark thoughts and he placed the small flowers in the same vase as the snowdrops. After this, he looked for the ninth number and took out a red camellia, loving the deep red the flower had.
Because you are the burning fire in my heart.
He felt the heat engulfing his body and he couldn’t help but be shy about this message. It was the same for him, Jin was his fire, the burning desire that he had confused for far too long with too possessive friendship. He placed them in the larger vase, already searching for the tenth number.
Because I promise to be faithful.
Kazuya laughed out loud and looked at the purple flowers that were lavender. Even without saying so, he would have taken care of it that way Jin would only have eyes for him. And no one else. Still laughing, he held the next flower with the no. 11.
Because my heart beats only for you.
Such a message carried the red daisy he was looking at. It was beautiful and simple; such words should show their love, except their love would never be simple. Beautiful yes, simple… never. Kazuya smiled and placed the flower into the vase, looking for the next one. Something told him, that the numbers will be up until he reached 25. It was his birthday after all, right?
He picked up a single sunflower, her bright yellow making Kazuya think of the sun indeed. The name suited the flower perfectly. He touched the petals softly before reading the message which, again, made him smile. Apparently, Jin wanted to assure Kazuya of his loyalty.
Because I promise to be always loyal.
The younger placed the sunflower next to the others and somehow, it shone more brightly than the others. Maybe this meant that Jin’s loyalty was true… maybe he can hope for that. Kazuya picked up the flowers with no. 13.
They were red lilac that carried a message which made Kazuya grin smugly.
Because even now you make my heart flutter each time I see you.
That should be obvious, the younger thought thinking of a later tease when he’ll see Jin. He went for the following number which had the most beautiful flower ever - orchid.
Because you’re special.
Kazuya’s vision blurred for a moment but he blinked for a few times, just to clear away the tears. This wasn’t a moment for him to cry. He had to smile and he did so, because he has lots of reasons… the most important one being Jin. With trembling hands, he let the orchid fall gently into the vase, before searching for the next number.
This time it was a yellow rose. He wondered when he’ll come across it, since roses mostly stand for the meaning of love. He inhaled the rose’s scent, his lips curved into a smile.
Because you bring me happiness.
That’s what the message said. That’s what it meant. That’s what Kazuya meant to Jin. And surely Jin meant the same to him. He brushed the rose’s petals against his cheek, enjoying the soft touch. He brought it to his lips before placing them into the vase. He looked for the next number.
He took out a single flower - a pure white daisy. He wondered about its meaning and quickly read the message which had him at first smile before really laughing.
Because we’re both innocent when it comes to love.
Maybe he was, but Jin… oh, Jin definitely wasn’t! Not when he was looking at Kazuya with hungry eyes, not when he devoured his lips like they haven’t spent the night together, not when each time Jin caught Kazuya alone…
The younger shook his head again, trying to clear the memories of him and Jin being together. Somehow, he was warmer than usual and there was an odd heat that spread even in his toes. He decided it was better to look for the next flowers. He still had eight notes to check.
He took out a red tulip and with his cheeks still burning red, he smile slyly.
Because I want you to trust me.
It wasn’t like he didn’t trust Jin, it was more like testing him, Kazuya thought upon reading the message. In fact, he did trust Jin, but he’ll never say it.
Kazuya added the tulip in the vase and grabbed the 18th number, a pink daisy. It had a girly feeling and Kazuya giggled a little, thinking that this felt so like Jin - to offer him things that he normally wouldn’t offer. He picked up the note and read it.
Because I’ll never forget you.
He smiled and his chest swelled with happiness while reading the message over and over. The same goes for him too, Kazuya thought. He’ll never forget Jin.
The 19th note was attached to a single flower, like the rest until now - a daffodil or also known as narcissus. Its yellow color was eye-catching and Kazuya wondered about the message it carried.
Because I don’t want you to forget me.
The younger laughed and he agreed on the choice - a narcissus fitted a narcissist like Jin. And himself too, he had the decency to blush as this thought passed his mind. The flower quickly followed its sisters in the vase as Kazuya looked for the next number.
This flower was big and pure white - white chrysanthemum. It seemed like snowballs, its petals small and many. He almost wanted to catch their softness in his hands, but he wasn’t a child anymore to not know that it would simply crush under his grasp. He smiled silly and read the message, surprised a little.
Because you’re the only truth I know.
How ironic, Kazuya thought just as he read the note. Only a moment ago he thought of the fragility of the flowers and Jin wrote such a message. Truth was also a fragile thing. The younger chose not to give in further thought and simply enjoyed the beauty of the flower and the real meaning of the message. Jin was such a sappy person, he laughed, but he was the same.
Kazuya looked at the table and noticed that there were left only five types of flowers. Like a countdown, he took each flower with the corresponding number and read the message while loving even more the person who wrote it. The flowers were his present and the notes were his thoughts about Kazuya. The flowers’ meaning was the same as his for Jin.
He took the bright red flower - another chrysanthemum. Although, it was the sister of the former he just placed it in the vase, Kazuya already knew it held a different meaning. He read the message.
Because I’m in love.
With me. Kazuya needn’t to see such words written too, he simply knew it. Smiling, he looked at the flower with no. 22 written on the note. Another deep color, with another different meaning - the iris.
Because you’re my eternal hope.
Kazuya could almost hear Jin say… “You’re my eternal.” Hope was just additional, but it definitely was. He shuddered a little at the thought of hearing Jin saying all these things in person and smiled to himself, feeling all cozy and fluffy. He placed the irises in the vase and held the 23rd flower.
It was a single white rose. One that was spotted with shades of red, one that showed completeness. He sniffed it before reading the message.
Because you complete me.
Indeed. They were like water and fire, Yin and Yang, sun and moon. They were like the red and white petals of the same rose. They were one being split in two bodies. They were together…
Kazuya kissed the rose and let it fall next to the others in the vase. Two more to go; both pure white flowers; one small and similar to snowdrops and… another rose. He lifted the jasmine, looking at its small petals and form. It looked frail but still strong. It showed beauty and pride. He read the message and grinned.
Because you are you.
He placed it into the smaller vase, smiling at the whiteness that was overflowing from there. Kazuya turned his attention to the 25th and last flower - the pure white rose. As if it was handed to him personally, he took it gently and almost anxious. He brought the rose to his lips, kissing and inhaling its scent in the same time. He closed his eyes and after a moment he picked up the note. It warmed him instantly.
Because I’ll always love you.
“Me too.” Kazuya whispered into the rose, grinning as a stupid.
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Continues here - PART TWO