The Kohler-Wielle Legacy: Generation Red 3.3:- Date or Incinerate Episode One
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YOU LIKE THE MAGNIFICENTLY MUSTACHOID YETI?!?! I know I do. He's totes cool and his 'stache is embodies the word "Debonair" am I right?!
In between Uni and Syrah moving into generation red house (aka The House That Red Built), I sent Syrah on a mountain holiday that I didn't document except pretty much for this shot. xD She made friends with him and they moved back to town together, but then she moved out of the interim house I had her living in in order for her to go on holiday and come back again before the ACTUAL house was build... And left him behind. That's right, YOU NEVER SEE HIM NOR HIS MAGNIFICENT 'STACHE AGAIN! xD
And in the interim I also played Craven & Lyna's house a little. Where something was VERY VERY NOT RIGHT with Craven's face...
Eventually we worked out that SOMEHOW when I'd changed Craven's eye values in SimPE to orange, it hadn't quite worked and it had instead changed to default alien - and the new defaults simkittensims had made for me had malfunctioned. Which was bad cause then she had to remake ;_; BUT GOOD cause then we had a playtester :D
Ah Craven, still contributing, even in undeath. ^_^
So anyway while I was staring at Craven and wondering wtf was up, Lyna got bored with constantly queing up interactions with Craven and having me x them. So she went outside to name a star after him. You KNOW that's her only motivation for looking through this thing. Damn three bolters.
Lyna: You think this one should be named Craven? I'm unsure it really captures his TRUE jeu de vive...
Peaches: MuuUUUuUUuUuUummmm >_<;;; Honestly..! Just pick one and come inside. Dad's all weird and shadow-faced, and it says 'birdcage' in chinese along his jawline... Its creeping me oooouuuut..!
Lyna: Darling you're a vampire with blood on your face. THAT's creeping you out? Uh... Do you hear something? *puzzled*
Lyna: No, seriously, what the?!?
AAAND completely accidental holy crap wth BLAAAAAH abduction suddenly hit Lyna in the.. Well, butt... >_<;; NOT MORE GENERATION TWO KTHX!? O_O;;;;;
Peaches: Mummy? *wibbles*
MAN that's gotta smart, though HOLY CRAP LYNA, your epic face making skills are, well, EPIC! EEEEE!! *lovelove* I realise as an old version of my self-sim that's kind of.. Weird and trippy and SELF-LOVING, but it doesn't count cause she's not ACTUALLY a version of me. xD
PS: HAI Cube and Valencia's house! xD
Yeaaaaah.. VERY Unexpected baby is unexpected, I really only loaded the house up to play for approximately five minutes... ^_^;;;; Suddenly THAT was very much off the cards. TIME TO SEE A BABY PLEASE!
Lyna: HAI THARRR! I POPPED! Into gestationally generational correct attire! ALSO, MY HAIR SEEMS TO BE SPROUTING FROM MY COLLARBONE!
Me: That's a lot of really rather random information to take in, hon. *has new respect for my boyfriend*
Lyna: OOOOW LAAWWWDS THIS HURTS!
Angie: Gods woman, do you have to rub in that you're dead and yet still A BREEDER every single day?! *sighs and takes her hand*
VOILA! Lyna has a very VERY blue baby... ^_^;;; Default alien skin, black hair, brown eyes. VERY blue baby is VERY blue.. xD OH! And a girl! :D Her name? Alani :D
Alani as a toddler :D :D Nawww so cutes! :D And in yellow.. I guess its close? She's not STRICTLY a gen 2, even though she is. And stuff. I guess if I was still playing Date or Incinerate I could be all disturbing with her and when she grew up marry Craven to her cause Lyna would surely be dead dead not just undead by then and he'd be missing her because of his love since the beginning.
Or something.
ANYWAY..! ^_^;;
HUZZAH! We has sweet little blue girl, in an orange jumper-dress, in a yellow house. AH THE COMPLIMENTARY COLOURNESS!
*has NO freaken idea what is up with her hair and how its interacting with her shoulders*
A sweet little blue girl wholoves her mother VERY very much :D Almost all her wants, all the time, revolved around doing things with her mother. SO SWEET!
And a final shot before we get back to the business of RED GENERATION ACTION: Alani, hot teen makeover! :D *squishes her cheeks* This brings the total number of kids for Generation Two up to NINE. JEEEBUS.
Want to see more of Alani? Download her for your own game at my Yoink a Kohler-Wielle postand give her NEW LIFE in your own hoods. Well, she's still (or again I guess since hood implosion) wandering around my KW hood but she's by no mean a main character and I TOTES think she should be xD
RANDOM INTERMISSION TIMES
EEEE!! Check this out! Okay so this is poorly animated, but moonlapse was playing Natural Selection - the fact that NSII is coming out later this year has had him TOTES nostalgic so he reinstalled it on his pc and WOOO I BE DATING ME A MARINE-THIRSTY ALIEN - and was all CHECK IT OUT! He was in a little room attached to the ready room on a specific map and ARMAGAD CUTE TOTORO DISPLAY IS CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!! *waves at the CatBus flying past*
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And now back to our regularly schedule program:
Syrah is BACK FROM HER BACKPACKING EXTRAVANGZA and moved into her new VERY Red ( and very Red xD) and very challenge-purpose-built house. See the orange things in the distance behind her? That's her parent's house and the house she grew up in. Apples don't fall too far from trees ;) ;) *totally incorrectly uses phrase but wiggles at its still-appropriateness*
Sure her hair has changed, and so has her fashion a little, but that's what happens when you go on an international holiday. ^_^
So, this is the house that Red built. Modified and customised by me, as was her plan, but mostly that was on the decorative side of things for my part. :D WOOO FRIEND-BUILT HOUSING GO! :D :D
*has no idea what kind of *~*~*~TOTES~ATTRACTIVE~*~*~* pose Syrah thinks she is striking for the purposes of this screenshot*
FUN FACT! The huageeeee Shinto Gates on the house? Originally these gates were designed to embody the entrance to the shrines of erotic gods - yes ladies and gentlemen the reason the gates are red? Because they represent a woman's vaginal opening.
And here endeth another episode of: THINGS YOU ONLY LEARN AND AREN'T QUITE SURE IF YOU'RE GLAD YOU DID CAUSE YOUR FLATMATE IS STUDYING SHUNGA ART FOR HER CURATORIAL DEGREE FOR A THOUSAND!
So first things first, Syrah moves her HUAG collection of very red things into her very red house, and tucks into an only slightly red meal. Hey, you gotta have a LITTLE variety in your life, no? It adds spice! And randomly spice in this case is not red... OoOoOH CONTRARYNESS! I feel this might not be a super great portent of things to come... BUT I COULD BE WRONG! :D :D
Speaking of contrary-to-spice, YAY HAI SNOWMAN :D
Whilst she impatiently (she and EVERYONE both, amirite!? XD) waits for the challenge of her generation to begin, she makes a few phone calls and catches up with a few peeps from uni...
Syrah: So Corinne's ghost did WHAT?!!? I cannot even believe that Lynwood exposed himself in the altogether to her and they made out!? And Corrinne is all-pudding face now? How does a ghost put on weight anyway? What do you mean she's more three dimensional? How is that even possible? GODDAMN you go into the deep wilds to be one with nature and you miss every little thing..!
Now I'm betting you're wondering wait, DATE OR INCINERATE!?!?!? Is that like Hitched or Ditched!?!? Well.. YES IT IS! BUT EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEME..!!
So basically? Its The Bachelor/Bachelorette Challenge meets the Farmer Wants a Wife (or Husband, or Partner, whatever) Challenge mixed up a little with specific rules (which I'll post in a complete form at the end :D), with a little bit of ISBI on the side for the contestant's part... With one BIG difference:
At the end of each day, the losing contestant is INCINERATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And because that's how I roll, I also made this a pixel_trade challenge. All the possible paramours are sims made by pt-ers, who I hope will forgive me for their creations IMMINENT DEMISE! So! Let's meet our brave contestants shall we?
Ah yes, THIS is what Syrah was waiting (im)patiently for. The arrival of... THE MENS! :D :D You'll notice, however, that there's only 6 contestants here... SOMEONE IS MISSING! And no, this certains someone's brains were not consumed by the zombie...
This certain someone is A MACHIIIIINE..! 'Sup, Plus One?! :D :D
Let's get a closer look at the boys, shall we?
Stellan Teodosio - Elf and the only 'human' sim in the supernatural mix. baykinz and I decided he was clearly a traveller from a distant past, come to the future where he had decided that his existence as an elf would be more easily accepted. JOKES ON HIM IF HE'S BURNED ALIVE, Y/Y?! Want his vital statistics?
Why hello there, plantie ^_^ Better known as William Karma by dragancaor, in this incarnation he's known as Erwin Aurel... OH! All names for all the contestants were pulled straight from BehindTheName's random name generator. Cause I'm OBSESSED with the damn thing these days. xD *not sure whether to thank or curse lauriethemuppet for sharing the link*
I THINK I'LL GO WITH THANK! Anyway, Erwin: A Study:
*lols at the anti-vampire stuffs hanging on the wall behind Hero* dragancaor has a GREAT LOVE for the sim Hero is based on (a girl) and I promised to treat her right... Even IF she was a zombie ^_^;;; SHe makes an AWESOME Zombie man though, Y/Y?!?!?!
GODDAMN that illustration so doesn't even look like brains. FAILSAUCE NETTLES! You know what DOES look like brains thou? THIS SPAGHETTI:
This unfortunate child who is suffering from a horrid face deforming skin disease (which has possibly also taken out his teeth thusly causing them to grow to the size of his eyeballs at inconvenient angles... Scientific testing is inconclusive, he could just be a 1950s prime example of triumphant british dentistry) is CLEARLY eating actual brains. And holding sausages.
Or penises.
I'm not sure which.
Possibly sausages made out of pureed penises reformed to look like penises. Either way they're CERTAINLY not breadsticks.
ANYWAY! BACK TO THE CONTESTANTS:
jtph_jo 's Otis Kreechur aka Theopholes River. Poor Otis. He had to be bahleted from Jo's game, but his cute face is TOO MUCH! ♥ and so I am glad to give him NEW LIIIIIFE in my game. Even if its possible that his new life will be ULTRA short lived.
Carlyle Elisud. The Vampire. I am NOT even kidding. The name generator randomly generated THAT for my vampire. Carlyle?!!? I LOVE YOU NAME GENERATOR! I WILL HAVE YOUR BABIES!! Well, my game will anyway. xD *is using it as the naming scheme to name kids in another legacy*
LoL, cliche vampire related items are cliche.
MUHAHHAAA!! MOD NIGHT ELF ACTION! Sup, Jory?! :D
Jozef. Our last contestant, finally..! When I turned him into a human VISUALLY, for some reason his skin screwed up and his face turned into the skin of my plantsim default skin. WTF IS THAT?! O_O;;;;; WEIRD! So I tried to cover it up with a scarf, glasses and the long long hairs... xD xD KIND of worked, Y/Y!? xD
You may notice that many, MANY of these supernatural simmies have hats. That's because, guess what the hell Syrah's turn ons are? Oh yeah, you were paying attention. Mechanical. And HATS. WTF Syrah. WTF.
AND THE CHALLENGE BEGINS!!!! And lets start this show off with ome INSTAASPIRATIONFAIL! Oh man Stellan, I love your style. Poor Theopholes, doesn't know where to look as he's left alone standing about with this snappily dressed, hursuit elf who's talking about the deeper allegory conveyed within classic hollywood western films throughout the genre...
Stellan: ...I believe that when he uttered the immortal words "You can bet a honeybee's sugar tit that there ain't no water to find" in Chato's Land, that he was really speaking about the inner turmoil of the quiet man in his search to attain the eternal goal of a quiet, happy life with a respectable woman, and how in his chosen career path he will most assuredly find death before the love of a woman.
Wilson: Much like you will find death if you don't go touch up the Bachelorette right now. The literal and immediate allegory is poignant and immediate, don't you agree?
Stellan: How wise you are, friend. How wise you are.
WOOO!! Pulling out all the stops for the challenge starter, GO GO TRANSFORMATION!!! *giggles at Theo's shirt* Yes you are, Theopholes, yes you ARE.
Oh shit. This isn't a good start at all... Is it cause he's not wearing a hat, Syrah?!?! He's got leaves instead of hair, that's KIND of like a hat?!? *fears for Edwin straight off the bat*
OKAY! So! Since this is an ISBI, I can't control any of the contestants so this crazy pile-up meet-and-greet was completely autonomous on their part. HOW COMMUNAL! Well, except for Hero, who appears to be searching for brains in the light fixtures. Honey? That's not where you find them. If you turn around you'll find a VERY fresh supply.
Stellan: What are your thoughts on extracting brains from a lightbulb, Wilson my oldest friend?!? Do you feel perhaps the very essence of Thomas Alva Edison's genius is encapsulaed in the humble household item and thusly Hero could indeed gain nutrient from its very flourescence?
GOD STELLAN! I love you, and I love your unhealthy relationship with Wilson, especially as I almost NEVER get the aspiration desperation animations so you're fulfilling one of MY wants, YAY! But honestly HOW did you manage to go into failure so hard so fast?
Alrightie then, I'm counting each day of the game from 3am till 3am - Devil's Hour! DUN DUN DUN! Sometimes also known as the Witching Hour, FITTING FOR SUPERNATURALS, Y/Y!?!? :D :D So that's the time I plonked all the contestants on the lot, so everyone's gonna prolly get super tired super fast on day one... But no body has jobs and aging is off for the duration of the challenge anyway so WHO CARES what time they sleep!? xD
Day One's Tasks: Meet and Greet. Let your sims do what they want, and talk to who they want. + do two chats and a “Check Sim Out” with each contestant Sim.
No Elimination = No Incineration.
I know, you're crushed. THERE WILL BE SOME TOMORROW I PROMISE!
Uh, so, Syrah?! I SMELL UNFAIR ADVANTAGE ON JORY'S BEHALF! O_O;;;
Lawds, SOMEONE is overconfident. And also has lost his eyeballs.. O_O;;;; *shoves contacts into his eye juice*
Hey guys? I know you're all here to get to know Syrah, and also get to KNOW Syrah, but, like, invasion of privacy much?
Carlyle: I'm a vampire, and I'm SAFE in the daylight, bleh... Yeah, that's right, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT, BLEH!!! *shifty eyes*
ILU CARLYLE!!! WIN SO I CAN GET YOU IN ONE OF MY LEGACIES PLEASE?!?! *hasn't been trying to get iliketoplaygod 's Hector in my game for EVER or anything*
Breakfast! As cooked by Syrah as Jozef is a bit of a failboat Servo. And we're having a very very delicious fruit and yoghurt dish which makes me VERRRR hungry so I might just go leave you all while I go eat. OM NOM NOM...!
Hero: Yoghurt?! BERRIES!??! I'd rather be sailing eating brains.
Oh my lawds, seroiusly, unfair scale-tipping advantage is unfair.
Well, okay he has the decency to be BASHFUL about being propositioned so soon. N'AWWWW SO CUTE!!
Uh, Syrah, what are you doing playing poker with these two and upping your social points with them? I know it doesn't count today but it might LATER... O_O;; GET BACK TO YOUR MEET AND GREET FLIRTATIONS KTHX!
Holy crap on a stick, Syrah. She loves the necro. No anti-zombie hangups like her grandfather, Craven, here!! Mein gott!
N'Awww, Stellan! You sweetie, heartfarting over the girl with the berry pie. Win for me and impart your elf ears?
Whoa. Syrah's clear preference? Aliens, Zombies, ROBOTS... OH MY!!
Guess there's no danger of you all going NEENERR NEENERR SKIN GLITCH VICTIM, since its FREAKEN BRIGHT in the kitchen, I think my retinas just burned out with the added light from the flame of those crepes...
Theopholes would have you believe that he enjoys some simple pleasures... But considering he's a Werewolf and is clearly here on his own automation whilst in what's tantamount to a Hitched or Ditched TV show, I'm pretty sure he's REALLY there in hopes Syrah's keenly interested in water displacement.
Which brings us to dinner time, whilst Syrah finishes up her meet and greet duties for the day, Hero attempts to annihilate the clearly freakish - in HIS opinion - plantsim. Plants have all the whippy vines and are KNOWN to sneak up on ladies and take advantage of them in the night with their rampant growth. HERO'S SEEN EVIL DEAD! HE KNOWS!! His great aunt was a zombie consultant on the set. *nods*
Theopholes: I really wish you'd gotten to our part of the challenge during the day. I'm really SO much nicer when the sun's out...
Awwwww, poor Theopholes. Unfairly knocked down by Syrah's EXTREMELY PICKY sensibilities. This is what got you into so much trouble -- or I guess DIDN'T to be exact -- during your college years, Syrah! *flails in her general direction*
And which brings us to the flame-retardant round up of scores for Day One. A lot of one bolts, a few two bolters and double the INVERSE ATTRACTION. Goddamnit, cafeteria worker from Syrah's dorm. Why you gotta have so much smelly geriatric appeal?
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SORRIES If this is a little.. Weirdly repetitive or disjointed. I wrote it in bits over four days and I actually played this back in March... ^_^;; Hope it reads better the further into the challenge I manage to post!