Returning here ( Read more... )

I can't remember the last time I was this excited to wake to my life, and fall asleep to dream of reality. 

And: not only did I fail you once, but I betrayed you in the worst way possible as a retaliation against my failure.  I made it a billion times worse, and made myself a billion times farther away from being the kind of person I should be.  I am so far away from being the kind of person you deserve to be with.  

"He said..." I angrily listed off the dozens of profound sentences you stated about who I was and what I was really doing, statements that seemed absurd but struck me in the deepest way, because knew somehow that although they sounded absurd, the only reason they made me that angry is because I knew they must be true, and I in no way understood why ( Read more... )

1. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up?
why is my alarm going off?

2. What did you do last night?
read an article, wrote a summary, read a chapter for class, reviewed some notes, went to the lib and ran into my future roomies and the lib fire alarms were going off so we went ( Read more... )

To the ones I've been neglecting----
I'm sorry if I haven't been the person you've been expecting of me.  I have no capacity to be more of a person that a person for myself.  It takes all of my energy just to get out of bed....just to make it through the day.  To walk through the motions, convincing myself that it's going to be okay.  I can't be ( Read more... )

On Saturday I'm going to my friend's wedding and in two weeks I'm going to my friend's baby shower.
WTF

I put on your shirt every time I get undressed.  It still smells like Sunday mornings before you wake, your skin warm from the sunlight and I lean down to kiss your shoulder before you raise your sleepy eyelids ( Read more... )

I watched you slowly crawl over the seat and it made me angry, to see you more cautious like I always wanted you to be.  I noticed I was always overly cautious and considerate and aware to compensate for your lack of these things.  I just wanted you to be considerate, because when one's ego is inflated one thinks that no one else's preferences ( Read more... )

DAN:  I saw this face. This vision. When you stepped onto the stage. It was the moment of my life.
ALICE:  This is the moment of your life.
DAN:  You were perfect.
ALICE:  I still am.