You got a problem with that?
So, I took one of the office staff out to lunch last week. She's in a different group, but we all, in the end, report up to the same big gun. She paid me the highest compliment. She's brown, from an island, first generation immigrant, and she said, "I don't have to pretend with you that it's not different."
Given the big fan kerfluffle before the current one about that web site, issues of race and perception and bigotry have been much on my mind. And as icarusancalion points out, there are feminist issues in the current kerfluffle. As I've said before, I've walked on the other side of privelege, felt the "Are you working?" diminishment (no, it's not the sole burden of dark skinned women), been called "Sweetie" by strangers when I was using a wheel chair, deal regularly with the whole queer thing, etc. Yeah, I get it, and I get that I don't get it.
So during the conversation over lunch, she seemed surprised to learn that white people viewed the Tuskeegee doctors as equal to Mengele. And I was surprised that she was surprised. So having had the kick in the head to make me understand that white people can't understand why people of color take some things to be on account of their skin tone, I realized that some people of color don't understand that White People are not a monolithic, intentionally offensive class.
you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell
It is so hard to know for sure, and the privilige of white, and especially of white straight male, is this: you can assume it isn't about you.
[ETA] In a more sober frame of mind, I want to emphasize how important this last point is. Someone on my f-list got jumped on about something she said to a woman of color, questioning whether the offense under discussion was a matter of racism. I think it was reflecting on her interchange, along with my own experiences, that made me realize this: it is a privilege to be able to assume that someone's behavior is about them acting like a jerk because they're being being a jerk, rather than because of who I am. If you are the other (of color, disabled, female, queer, talk with an accent, or some combination thereof), you are extrordinarily strong if you claim that privilege and act as if.
But acting as if brings up a whole different discussion, one I've also addressed before.
Given the big fan kerfluffle before the current one about that web site, issues of race and perception and bigotry have been much on my mind. And as icarusancalion points out, there are feminist issues in the current kerfluffle. As I've said before, I've walked on the other side of privelege, felt the "Are you working?" diminishment (no, it's not the sole burden of dark skinned women), been called "Sweetie" by strangers when I was using a wheel chair, deal regularly with the whole queer thing, etc. Yeah, I get it, and I get that I don't get it.
So during the conversation over lunch, she seemed surprised to learn that white people viewed the Tuskeegee doctors as equal to Mengele. And I was surprised that she was surprised. So having had the kick in the head to make me understand that white people can't understand why people of color take some things to be on account of their skin tone, I realized that some people of color don't understand that White People are not a monolithic, intentionally offensive class.
you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell you can't tell
It is so hard to know for sure, and the privilige of white, and especially of white straight male, is this: you can assume it isn't about you.
[ETA] In a more sober frame of mind, I want to emphasize how important this last point is. Someone on my f-list got jumped on about something she said to a woman of color, questioning whether the offense under discussion was a matter of racism. I think it was reflecting on her interchange, along with my own experiences, that made me realize this: it is a privilege to be able to assume that someone's behavior is about them acting like a jerk because they're being being a jerk, rather than because of who I am. If you are the other (of color, disabled, female, queer, talk with an accent, or some combination thereof), you are extrordinarily strong if you claim that privilege and act as if.
But acting as if brings up a whole different discussion, one I've also addressed before.