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hot & cold girl

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you know i have a terrible jealousy problem.

and it's not the kind that just crosses my mind time to time, it's a feeling in my gut that makes me want to vomit. and it's not even that i don't have trust, well yeah it is. but i have every reason!

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sometimes it's okay to cry, right?

sometimes i just lay here and wonder what i am doing, and ponder on where i am going. and the fact that i do not know drives me absolutely crazy. when i start thinking i can't stop. i suppose that is why i never think. and i always hide from myself...

being at home has finally sunk in, and i like the schedule i'm on. i wake up somewhere around 8:30 - 9:30 and go to sleep around 10:00 pm. last night i stayed up till 12. i was on the phone with john for a while, and plus i had a lot of energy after getting to see some of mis amigos ( Read more... )

i'm out of treatment, took me 89 days to get out but i'm home. i slept in my own bed last night. and i took my mom to her first NA meeting with me, and it just so happened to be birthday night so i got my 90 day chip. :) i feel like a completely new person. and i'm happy.

i'm starting to feel really overwhelmed about leaving on thursday. i'm realizing i'm going to miss my life...i'm going to miss isaiah and all of my "friends". i don't get why when things finally start looking up for me, i'm having to leave it all behind. i know 48 (to 90) days isn't that long. but i have a feeling it's not going to go by fast ( Read more... )