Remember last year when that charming foreign fellow called me a doorstop? I still have no idea what he really meant by it, and it didn't sound too terribly friendly so I didn't try very hard to find out. I remain perplexed by that encounter. Perplexed, and possibly offended. Why am I bringing this up again? Well ( Read more... )

I went to work at the Gallery this weekend to escape my family. I spent most of the time trying to train Amy on the new security system. It was installed a month ago, and she still has no idea how it works. After resetting the alarm about ninety times, I realized that home was actually starting to look like a good escape ( Read more... )

I hate going to a gym where women shower and put on make-up before exercising. And since most of the guys at the gym are gay, I'm pretty sure they're also doing the shower/make-up routine. I can't prove it, though, since I've never been in their locker room, but I swear a bunch of guys are walking around with mascara on. At the very least. ( Read more... )

Ergh. So busy. So very busy... The psycho neighbors moved out on the first of the month, so Beth (and Gus and boyfriend) will be moving over there. As soon as we get the wallpaper stripped, the walls painted, the floors stripped, the floors waxed, the carpets cleaned, and a new door put on. Oh, and the electricity fixed. Because some massive ( Read more... )

Jessie and I went into Boston today. It took about two and a half hours to make a standard forty minute drive, but we were bored and had nothing better to do. And she was driving, so I didn't much care about the traffic. When we were on the bridge, some lovely policemen checked under the car with a big mirror on a stick. That's what it looked ( Read more... )

Brief bit of background: my parents own the house next door, which is currently being rented (for a ridiculously small amount) by a woman my mother works with. The woman has two children, two severely retarded inbred Huskies, massive credit card debt, and a passion for greasy motorcycle men. The daughter is a sixteen-year-old anorexic slut who ( Read more... )

Day Three of Gus-sitting. This entry is for everyone who's asked me, "How bad could it be?" Well, I'll tell you ( Read more... )

Will someone please kill me? You can shoot me. You can run me over with your car. You can whack me in the head with a baseball bat. You can drop a fucking piano on me. I don't care. But please just kill me ( Read more... )

Feel free to skip this one - I'm only updating because some relatives showed up, and as long as they hear me typing they'll leave me alone. It's not that I don't like my relatives or anything, it's just that... No, strike that. It is that I don't like them. I mean, I'm bound by honor to love them, but... what a bunch of freaks. And they're not ( Read more... )

You know, in Health Class we were taught how to Just Say No during all those peer pressure moments, but I have never in my life been involved in a situation with my peers that required those skills. What we should have been taught was how to say No to parental pressure. Or maybe it's just me. But I'm really starting to wonder about my mother. ( Read more... )