Fic: Sold, Chapter 2 (Criminal Minds, Reid / Morgan, Hotch / Chad)
Title: Sold, Chapter 2
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan,
Aaron Hotchner / Chad Christensen
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Criminal Minds Main List
Chapter 1
“This thing is trying to choke me…” Morgan did his best to re-adjust his tie, but it didn’t help much. “Pretty Boy?”
“Don’t use that tone, I warned you not to do the Italian knot.” Reid grabbed the ends of the tie, unfolded it and started from the beginning.” It doesn’t suit your personality.”
“I didn’t know it had to match my personality.”
“It doesn’t, I meant that it brings out some unpleasant sides of your personality. You keep tugging it and then you start complaining. You did the same thing in Haler’s wedding, all the way through the ceremony. I missed half the wows, because you kept complaining about it.”
“I wasn’t complaining, I just mentioned it. Few times.”
“Fourteen times, and that doesn’t include the reception. How bout a half Windsor?”
“What’s that like?”
“Could you tell the difference between it and all other knots if I told you?”
“No…”
“So does it matter?”
“Do what you do, baby.” Morgan sighed and waited for Reid to continue. “I guess I should be glad we don’t need to wear a tux.”
“Actually, the traditional dress code for a black tie event is-”
“If I try to hang myself with this thing, can I go home?”
“No.” Reid finished the knot and gave it one last tug. “You’re ready.” He turned to pick up a plastic cup from the table the arraigners had placed against the back wall and poured himself some ice water.
“Guys?” Chad zigzagged his way through the roomful of men and let out a sigh of relief. “Finally some familiar faces.”
“J.J. roped you into this too?” Morgan grinned. “Maybe there’s some justice in the world after all…”
“Let’s talk about that later when we know who bough us. Did you see those women out there?”
“Nope.” Morgan grunted. His fingers had wandered up to his tie once again. “They shoved us in here through the backdoor, like a fresh, bloody piece of veal coming to the meat counter.”
“I got a glimpse and it wasn’t pretty. Like savages waiting to tear us all apart.”
“Are they all women?”
“Most of them. Have you seen Aaron? We got separated when some blue haired grandma wanted to get a sneak preview of the merchandise.”
“I can’t even imagine how Hotch reacted…” Morgan wondered. “Let’s hear the good parts.”
“Nothing to tell. He didn’t even get a chance to say anything, she was talking so fast.”
“And you left him there.”
“He’s a big boy, he’ll survive.”
“There you are.” As if to underline Chad’s comment, Hotch appeared on the door, and the crowd parted like the Red Sea. Looking from afar Hotch looked like he was blushing furiously, but when he came closer the others realised the truth. His cheeks were filled with lipstick marks, all with the same bright red tint.
“Babe…” Chad tried to keep his face neutral, but he couldn’t control his grin. “If I didn’t trust you, I would get jealous.”
“Morgan, call Garcia.” Hotch pulled out his handkerchief, and tried to wipe off the marks. “Tell her to find us a case. Right now.”
“Wouldn’t they go through J.J. anyway? She’s out there small talking with the savages.”
“And trying to get out of here alive would be a risky move right now.” Chad agreed. He took the handkerchief from Hotch and dipped it into Reid’s glass of water. He wrung the excess water off and started rubbing the lipstick marks. “Look tall, dark and brooding and this will be over in few hours.”
“Yeah…” Reid eyed his glass with obvious distaste. “I wasn’t that thirsty anyway.”
J.J. stepped in with a pudgy redhead in tow. She clapped her hands above her head to get everyone’s attention.
“Gentlemen! I would like to introduce Miss. Smyth. She will give you a small run-through of the actual auction before we begin.”
“Thank you.” Miss Smyth was shaking with excitement while the enormous bouffant on her head waved back and forth. “The auction will start in about ten minutes. The auctioneer will call out your name and I will escort you to the stage. She will read your description and the date package, and then she’ll start the bidding. When you’re sold, Mrs. Hall will take you to the ballroom to meet your buyer so you can set up the time of the date.”
“Hotch?” Morgan leaned close to whisper to him while Miss Smyth continued. “Have you seen Rossi?”
“No.”
“I saw him when we came in.” Chad whispered back. “He was trying to empty the bar before the dames figure out there’s free drinks. Imagine what they’ll be like when they get few drinks in.”
“Grope City.”
“Yeah.”
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When Morgan finally managed to come up with an excuse good enough for Ms. Donnell to let him go, he scouted the ballroom looking for a skinny genius. He found him sitting in one of the tables, his head tilted back and laughing uncontrollably. He was accompanied by a small grey-haired lady. Reid spotted him, gave the lady an obvious "just a minute, I’ll be right back" speech and jogged across the room to meet Morgan.
“Looks like you’re having fun.” Morgan sat down on one of the empty tables in a dim corner.
“Yeah.” Reid beamed. “Did you know her husband knew Freud? I’m starting to understand the mental processes of groupies, who harass rock star’s roadies to get some inside scoops.”
“Are you sure she’ll stay awake the whole time you`re doing your lecture?” Morgan grinned. Reid’s date package had included a front row seat on his lecture on the evolution of profiling in the confines of the bureau structure, followed by a dinner at an Italian restaurant.
“What?” Reid gave him a confused look. “Oh you mean… no, no. She bought me as a gift.”
“Gift?”
“Yeah, his grandson is in town for few weeks and-” He twirled around and pointed at the tall, blond young man walking back to the table. “He’s been working on professor Doyle’s archaeological expedition in South America. He even got my joke about extinction events of the Phanerozoic eon!”
“That’s nice.” Morgan gritted his teeth. “You wanna hear what mine is like?”
“Can we talk about it when we go home? Eric promised to tell me all about the Triassic remains they found.”
“Sure.” Morgan groaned. “I’ll just wait here and do what Rossi did-”
“Great.” Reid was already bouncing back to the table.
“At least someone was lucky.” Chad snatched two wine glassed from one of the waitresses, handed the other glass over to Morgan and settled on a free chair. “What did you get?”
“That.” Morgan pointed across the room. “Wife of a diplomat, who probably hasn’t been home for months. If I survive that date, I’ll deserve medal for my bravery.”
“You only got one. Mine’s over there.” Chad pointed at a group of women in their late thirties. One of them was currently busy groping the waiter’s rear end. “My package included a private self-defence class for the buyer and her friends.”
“How much did they pay for it?”
“Twelve hundred bucks. Half-way through the bidding the auctioneer decided to sweeten the deal and said I would do the private class with my shirt off.”
“Selling sex for charity…” Morgan laughed. “Anything for a good cause, right?”
“It wasn’t my idea, she didn’t even warn me she was gonna do that. And speaking of showing off… Look who’s talking.”
“True. What about Hotch?”
“Some dried up, fifty something lawyer bought him for nine hundred.”
“Makes you wonder… why couldn’t they just send the money to the charity if they wanted to support the cause?”
“Because this way they got to dress up and get together to gossip.”
“I think Rossi had the right idea.” Morgan nodded and gestured at the pair across the room, about to fall off their barstools. A drunken woman with a hyena-like laughter had draped herself all over him. “Get as hammered as you can and hope you’ll get someone, who can’t say no to free booze.”
Chapter 3/3