my depression is not a statement of who I am, it is a state of who I am.  nothing more

I feel so sad at times, even though all my reasons to be sad are not really that big. Can't someone just smile for me for a little while?

                Ever have the feeling that the more you save the bigger the crack on the piggie bank gets, and the more seems to hit the floor then you realized? I hate talking about money because I honestly think Americans don't talk about it enough or have an understanding with it to ever get really comfortable saving it, having it, and spending ( Read more... )

So I've had a few bumps, craters, sink holes grab me along my way to independently taking care of myself and school. Car went down hill and is now teeter totting on the shall I fix it or shall I junk it and use ike and mike because I have no funds to support another vehicle thanks to school line. I'm not as depressed as I would expect myself to be ( Read more... )

I've looked for a few apartments in Akron near the campus, a few single rooms, double rooms and triple rooms all planning for any situation. I don't know who I am moving with, or if I am moving with anyone other then myself, but I can honestly say that I am prepaired mentally, maybe not emotionally for all. 

 I'm just so angry at myself for so many reasons and I need to learn how to let up; because I'm not getting anywhere with out myself  in my corner rooting for me.

I've started working at the county engineers office again and have moved in with a friend of mine. It's a bit wierd and I'm starting to have my caveman sydrome take over. morewhen i get a chance to actually post but someone answer me this.....

what's the matter with normal when all you know is chaos?

 Today i was sleeping in my room, sound, alone, and I woke up still, calm with memories of Adam. He was usual, perfect and either telling me something with his actions or just trying to reach me; at least right now I hope. I'm upsetting I'm emotional when I'm at my worst and right now I'm feeling like there is no more for me to go. Laying in my bed ( Read more... )

 ever just sit alone in your room and listen to really good music that touches you souls or something. Forgive my lack of appropriate wording or elaborate frame of referencing my thoughts... I'm trying to be simple, to express my self simply. I'm in my room and i'm listening to music, or what some might call old music from around my era. I love ( Read more... )

my life is a mess, i'm not even going to act like it isn't or that I'm happy with it. so far there are mere fragments that i would trade for anything but then there is the whole that i some times wish i can return with out any receipt or store credit. i'm miserable but happy, i'm terrified of tomorrow but excited for the journey and my experiences ( Read more... )