will no one help us? will you help us? will God help us? must we help ourselves? have we damned ourselves? Jesus FUCKING Christ, screamed again, i take the Lord's name in vain, hear clenched like fists in rage. this emotion is fleeting, it flees with day, but deadly and stinking, decaying it stays, like a moldering demon it's eating its way, into ( Read more... )

feels good courses thru her brain and body, the poor girl, but she feels so good. so verry good for now. for being strung out, she says, is just like a life raft with a hole: has to be blown up all the time.

for her it's too bad that the highs are much more than that, but a perfect mirror reflecting her lows, lows that wait with teeth growing from ( Read more... )

i was in the back yard for a moment this morning to turn off a hose per request of my wonderful mother. on the walk back to the door the morning warmpth and humidity, the sunlight, the smell of the grass and forest and the sounds of birds and insects conspired to weigh upon for a moment and i stopped to consider them. i stood, in a moment removed ( Read more... )

1: hello plastic smile.
x: hello one, i thought you'd decided to leave me.
1: i did, but it's so hard to be real.

i'm searching for something, and i don't know what it is. i don't think i even knew i was searching, i don't think i'm sure even now. i think i am looking for something, and somehow i keep trying things, always searching, never knowing but always trying to find that one thing.. maybe that one thing that won't break, the one thing that lasts forever ( Read more... )

have you ever had the flu? or just a really bad fever, one that lasted a few days. do you remember how the pain of it filled up your chest, and racked your body into tightening and shaking as you'd sweat and cry and throw up, your insides cramping down to shoot what was inside out, and when it was all gone your stomach would still slam against ( Read more... )

from a response i wrote to a comment on my last post:

"of faith, which you talked of, hope, and love, i would prefer to have love. faith i'm not good at, i am, as it says, a wave upon the sand, unstable in all of my ways, easily swayed. hope seems to either be very subjective to my situation, or to follow faith, and this thus also elusive. but if i ( Read more... )

"and if i don't make it  /  know that  /  i loved you all along
just like sunny days  /  i ignored because  /  i'm just dumb and jaded
and i hope to God i figgure out whats wrong
oh i hope to God i figgure out whats wrong"

but if i don't make it
know that
i loved you all along

this is tonight
love me
and if someday you wake up and find that i ddn't make it ( Read more... )

"Peyton Place, produced by 20th Century Fox Television, was an American primetime serial.

ABC aired 514 half-hour episodes from September 15, 1964 to June 2, 1969. The program was broadcast in black-and-white from 1964 to 1966 and in color from 1966 to 1969. To date it is the only primetime series ever to run episodes continuously without reruns. It ( Read more... )

all things i have done up to now may or may not have been good or beneficial, but all that is left for me now, weather i have walked over roses or coals, is to follow God the best i know how and leave the rest up to Him.

faith in action is very difficult for a beginner.