Make A Heaven Out Of Hell
Title: Make a Heaven Out of Hell
Pairing: Luhan/Xiumin
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,641
Warning: Excessive and inaccurate references to A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Summary: Substitute teacher Luhan is obsessed over his student and can’t stop talking about said boy. ( Fill for exopromptmeme)
“It’ll be good for you,” they said.
“You’ll gain so many invaluable experiences,” they said.
“Be a substitute teacher,” they said.
A bunch of lies, Luhan thinks as he shoves another stack of worksheets into the photocopier.
Yixing, his ever kind and helpful friend, introduced him to this job during the break before he got his college results.
“It’s fun!” he exclaims, going on to tell him about how nice his students were and how much they adored him.
Due to naivety and a large amount of stupidity, he landed himself into this inescapable hellhole. Well, technically he could just quit but he’s too lazy to find himself another job with a decent pay so photocopying worksheets it is! How incredibly fun and productive!
The problem with his job is that Luhan has been stuck in his plain grey cubicle for a month now and he still hasn’t relieved a single class. Are the literature teachers here Ironmen or something? Why don’t they ever get sick or apply for leave? Alas, for five days a week, Luhan gets the truly important task of printing 120 sets of student homework and marking test papers the full-time staffs are too lazy to grade themselves.
“I hate you,” Luhan casually whispers to Yixing, who is sitting at the cubicle directly opposite the printer.
Yixing serenely edits the PowerPoint slide for his next class and shrugs. “Told you to take up Science instead.”
Luhan should not take up science because he almost blew up the entire campus with hydrochloric acid and a bunser burner when he was in high school.
He fails to retort Yixing with a witty comeback because the photocopier jams at this point and releases a series of frantic beeps that shocks half the staffroom. The machine tells him to open up the feeder and reload the paper. In a hurry to stop the noise and prevent the teacher population from giving him displeased looks, the Chinese man fumbles for the feeder’s lever, which refuses to open no matter how hard he yanks it.
So he does the next most logical and appropriate thing an adult would do - he kicks the machine.
The photocopier is still jammed but he takes medical leave for his sprained toe.
Yixing cackles like a wild hyena.
Good news befalls upon him when he returns on Tuesday. Joonmyun, their department head joyfully welcomes him back. “Mr Kim is sick today,” he explains, “We need a substitute for his senior class.”
Luhan certainly does not squeal like a pubescent teenage girl and Joonmyun definitely does not give him a judgemental look.
Luhan takes purposeful strides to the classroom, filled with much vigour and enthusiasm. He fixes his hair and checks that he has all the materials in his hands.
Yes, he thinks to himself, I can do it.
It’s his first class ever since he got his job and he’s not about to mess up. He is so filled with hope in his life. His mother will be very proud of him. As he reaches the classroom door labelled ’04-01’, he takes a deep breath, and pushes the door open.
“Hello class,” he greets and settles his materials on the teacher’s desk. He surveys the entire class of 20 and says, “I’m Luhan, your-“
His eyes land on a student with brown hair sticking in random directions, looking like he just woke up from a nap and that he really didn’t want to be here. The student meets his gaze with a face that spells ‘I am disinterested, leave me alone’.
“Substation,” he ends off coherently like the totally professional and intelligent literature major he is.
The boy raises a brow at him and Luhan snaps out of his trance and corrects himself.
“Substitute teacher,” he averts his eyes from the smirking student and repeats, “I’m your substitute teacher.”
“Not any permutation of a building.” He adds after a second of contemplation just to be sure.
The class laughs good-naturedly and Luhan lets out an awkward chuckle before taking out his copy of A Midsummer Night’s Dream and urging his class to do the same. For the next 30 minutes, he tries his very best to look at every one of his students except the boy sitting at the back row of class. It sincerely takes a lot of effort to forcefully control his eyeballs when they’re always unconsciously sliding back to take peeks at the back row.
Self-control, Luhan, you’re not here to ogle at cute students. You’re here to impart knowledge about the splendid world of Shakespeare’s literature and the sexual innuendos he uses in his plays.
“So what do you think Hermia means when she says ‘you juggler, you canker-blossom, you thief of-”
Luhan’s eyeball had one job - to not ogle at his male student with cute eyes and nicely shaped eyebrows. And yet his eyeballs fail him as he glances at the boy, to find him sucking on the tip of his pen.
“Asdfghjkl?”
Ah, fuck.
When Luhan returns to the office, his face is in shades of red and he’s accumulating sweat under his pits. He plops down on his chair and heaves a sigh of relief that he is under the safety of boring schoolteachers and whirling of printers. No cute students giving him Inconvenient Boners and Inappropriate Fantasies.
However, he nearly falls off his chair when Jongdae’s head pops up from the grey divider and questions him. “Why are your pits wet?”
Luhan’s eyes dart around as he fumbles for an excuse. “Uh… there was an intensive discussion in class just now?” Satisfied with his excuse, he nods firmly. “Yeah, exciting discussion about the ideology of love behind A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Very nerve-wrecking. Very intense.”
Mr Kim is still sick the next day and so Luhan happily takes over the class again. When he enters class, he feels a deep pang of disappointment when he finds that the back row is devoid of a certain cute student with monolids and sharp chin. His smile falters a bit and suddenly he’s not all that excited to take over the class.
“Sorry I’m late.” A voice comes as a head of brown hair passes him and unhurriedly saunters to the back row. Okay, he’s excited again.
Luhan catches a whiff of musky cologne and he asks, “Where did you go?”
He secretly hopes it came out as a ‘responsible teacher enquiring about his student’s whereabouts’ tone rather than a ‘I’m a lovesick puppy getting lost without you’ tone.
“To pee,” the student answers as he sinks down to his seat.
“Oh,” Luhan tries to wave off the image of his student’s dick. And just because he can, and he wants to, he asks, “What’s your name?”
The boy grins. “Minseok.”
Luhan is determined to aggressively stalk him on Facebook after class.
At the alarming speed Luhan manages to find Minseok’s Facebook through thousands of profiles, the FBI should consider recruiting him. He spends his time in the office browsing through Minseok’s photo albums and finding out about his interest in soccer and lack of interest in literature, as proven by a status update one day ago:
Literature class makes me want to die. Someone stab me with a pencil please.
Luhan feels upset for exactly 43 seconds before lighting up again when he sees a photo of Minseok and his gummy smile. He clicks ‘save’.
“Jesus did a good job on that one.”
Luhan screams, scrambles to turn off his computer while simultaneously turning towards the voice.
“Oh God, Yixing,” Luhan pants. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“Jesus did who?” Jongdae’s head appears from behind the divider again.
“Nothing.” Luhan quickly closes the window.
“He’s creepily saving a guy’s Facebook pictures,” Yixing helpfully supplies.
Jongdae’s eyes light up with an evil glint. “Oh, really?”
MAYDAY, MAYDAY. ABORT MISSION, Luhan’s heart screams. “No. Go back to do your work.”
“Who is it?” Jongdae probes excitedly.
“No one.”
“Come on man,” Jongdae pouts, “That’s not what buddies are for.”
“If I didn’t remember wrongly,” Luhan says placidly, “I only met you last month.”
His colleague shrugs. “I make fast friends.”
During the short argument with Jongdae, Yixing has discreetly retrieved Luhan’s last closed window and is now scrolling though Minseok’s Facebook profile. “Who is Kim Minseok?”
“Kim Minseok as in the senior from the soccer team?” Jongdae roughly pushes Luhan’s head aside to get a closer look at Minseok’s cover photo.
Luhan silently prays that Satan would open a hole in the ground and swallow him to hell.
Kyungsoo, a teacher in Home Economics walks by and nods. “Minseok’s a good kid.”
“Seriously? Don’t you guys have some marking to do?” Luhan stares at the three teachers now crowding at his cubicle.
A thought strikes him and he belatedly asks Kyungsoo, “How’s he like?”
“Mostly quiet. Cute smile. Great at making macaroni.”
“I would like to try his macaroni,” Luhan dreamily sighs, earning disgusted looks from his fellow teachers.
A red head pops up behind Kyungsoo. Chanyeol, another substitute teacher glances at them curiously. “Whose macaroni?”
Jongdae enthusiastically welcomes him to the circle and is more than happy to recite to him the entire story from the top.
“Teachers are the worst.”
Luhan slams his head on his desk and blocks out the discussion surrounding his crush.
The hype dies down after a day and is quickly replaced by a mixture of mild perturb and annoyance because Luhan cannot stop marvelling about Minseok. Every minute he spends in the office, he spends it talking about the brown haired boy. From his favourite body part, the small quirks he observed in class, to the information he gathered about him via Dubiously Efficient Social Media Stalking.
“And today, he laughed at my joke once.”
“I love that smile where his left lip rises to a 17 degree angle, while the right lifts to 45 degree.”
“I found a strand of hair on his desk today. Do you want to touch it? It’s so soft. I can almost smell the shampoo he uses.”
“It’s like Jesus put in all his effort to create him, and left the rest of us to be shitty, you know?”
“No, I don’t know,” Jongdae sighs and rub his temples. “And speak for yourself, Jesus created me to be Korea’s Johnny Depp.”
It’s Friday and Luhan is still a creepy little shit.
“Look, look!” Luhan elbows Chanyeol’s side and gestures to food queue across the cafeteria.
Chanyeol manages to swallow the pieces of meatballs he almost spewed out and squints. “I don’t see anything.”
“There,” Luhan whispers, and Chanyeol can practically see the pink hearts bouncing off the Chinese man’s head.
At the far end of the cafeteria stands Minseok, dressed in normal shirt and jeans, picking out his lunch from the counter.
“Watch,” Luhan clutches Chanyeol’s arm and his eyes stare intently at the boy’s back. “He’s gonna pick up the chocolate milk.”
A second later, Minseok puts a packet of chocolate milk on his tray.
“And then he’ll take the club sandwich.”
Minseok does just that.
“Then he’ll reach for the apple.”
The boy’s hand hover above the container of apples-
“But then he’ll go for the banana instead.”
But Minseok shrugs and dumps a banana in his tray.
Luhan smugly grins while Chanyeol slinks away from him and eyes him apprehensively. “You sicko.”
By next Monday, the office is washed over by an odd silence that isn’t punctuated by Luhan’s daily worship of a certain soccer player. Being the ever-caring co-worker, Kyungsoo stalks to his Chinese colleague’s cubicle and checks up on him.
“Are you okay?”
Luhan’s right hand is holding a pen, pointing it down to a stack of assignments but he’s staring off to a distance, a wistful and faraway look on his face.
Kyungsoo furrows his brow in concern. “Luhan?”
He responses this time but his reflective gaze remains. “Don’t you just see yourself in him sometimes?”
“Uh…” Kyungsoo figures ‘him’ probably refers to the only thing Luhan talks about so he answers, “Kim Minseok? Not really?”
“No, no.” Luhan finally looks at him and the dreamy look on his face dissipates. “I mean in him. Like literally in him.”
“…”
“What the fuck.”
Luhan ignores the negative reaction and continues, “I really want to try his macaroni.”
“I hope you actually mean his cooking and not an insinuation of his dick.”
Joonmyun floats by them at this point with a blinding smile and exclaims, “Good news, Luhan! Mr Kim will be back on Wednesday, so you can stop relieving his lessons soon.”
The department head gives Luhan an encouraging pat on the back and strolls off, muttering words of encouragement to passing colleagues (“Nice use of fonts on your slides!” “I love the way you mark!”).
Kyungsoo swears he hears Symphony No.5 playing in the background as Luhan drops to his knees, raises both his arms and yells “NOOOOOOOOOO!”
“Class,” Luhan announces, regarding the class forlornly. “Mr Kim will be back on Wednesday so I won’t be seeing you anymore.”
The class breaks out into noises of pity and reluctance and Luhan discreetly glances at Minseok to see if he has such reaction. However, he is met with disappointment when Minseok merely sits there and looks on emotionlessly, mindlessly twirling a pen with his right hand.
Luhan sighs, “So I guess this is what Lysander means by ‘the course of true love never did run smooth’.
“There’ll always be obstacles in your path. People will always cockblock you from the love of your life. It’s so near, yet so far.”
The class exchange confused looks with each other. A girl raises her hand. “Teacher, are you sure you’re still talking about the book?”
Luhan ignores her as he goes on.
“Your crush might just be sitting in the back row of class, being all cute and shit, but he’ll never know what turmoil it brings you when you see him suck on his stationary like a nursery school kid.”
“Mr. Lu…?”
“But alas, love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged cupid painted blind. It’s such an unsanitary and disgusting habit, but yet you can only look on with loving eyes and a low hint of sexual desires.”
“I don’t think-“
“And to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays. And that is an undeniable truth-“
The bell rings and disrupts his poetic speech. The students scamper out of the classroom immediately, giving quick dismissive byes on the way out.
“Goodbye my love, treat this as nothing but a fleeting dream,” Luhan ends off dramatically, sniffing a couple of times for added effect. Goodbye Minseok, goodbye God’s finest creation.
As he continues to indulge in his melodrama, he fails to see a brown haired student approaching him and watching his outburst with a bemused grin.
“Hey Luhan.”
Luhan spins around and he’s face to face with the boy he dreams about at night and not so secretly jerks off to. His palms feel sweaty. He subtly wipes them on his pants while hoping that his hair looks good today.
“H-hi…” he stutters. Wow great charisma. Much attractive.
“So,” Minseok begins. Luhan eagerly nods, prompting him to go on. “You’ve been… entertaining.”
Luhan doesn’t know how to feel about that statement because while his heart is palpitating so loudly because he’s so near Minseok and damn does he smell great, his brain is trying to decipher what he means. So he settles for a small frown.
Minseok laughs. “But if you haven’t been so absorbed in watching me suck my pen, you would have realised that your crush isn’t all that unattainable.”
I bet his smile could bring dead people to life... Sucking pens- Wait what?! Luhan stares wide-eyed at Minseok and gapes.
“See you around, Luhan,” Minseok winks and walks off.
Luhan collapses to the floor. Taking up this job is the best decision in his entire life.
A/N: My Xiuhan feels these days.
Pairing: Luhan/Xiumin
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,641
Warning: Excessive and inaccurate references to A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Summary: Substitute teacher Luhan is obsessed over his student and can’t stop talking about said boy. ( Fill for exopromptmeme)
“It’ll be good for you,” they said.
“You’ll gain so many invaluable experiences,” they said.
“Be a substitute teacher,” they said.
A bunch of lies, Luhan thinks as he shoves another stack of worksheets into the photocopier.
Yixing, his ever kind and helpful friend, introduced him to this job during the break before he got his college results.
“It’s fun!” he exclaims, going on to tell him about how nice his students were and how much they adored him.
Due to naivety and a large amount of stupidity, he landed himself into this inescapable hellhole. Well, technically he could just quit but he’s too lazy to find himself another job with a decent pay so photocopying worksheets it is! How incredibly fun and productive!
The problem with his job is that Luhan has been stuck in his plain grey cubicle for a month now and he still hasn’t relieved a single class. Are the literature teachers here Ironmen or something? Why don’t they ever get sick or apply for leave? Alas, for five days a week, Luhan gets the truly important task of printing 120 sets of student homework and marking test papers the full-time staffs are too lazy to grade themselves.
“I hate you,” Luhan casually whispers to Yixing, who is sitting at the cubicle directly opposite the printer.
Yixing serenely edits the PowerPoint slide for his next class and shrugs. “Told you to take up Science instead.”
Luhan should not take up science because he almost blew up the entire campus with hydrochloric acid and a bunser burner when he was in high school.
He fails to retort Yixing with a witty comeback because the photocopier jams at this point and releases a series of frantic beeps that shocks half the staffroom. The machine tells him to open up the feeder and reload the paper. In a hurry to stop the noise and prevent the teacher population from giving him displeased looks, the Chinese man fumbles for the feeder’s lever, which refuses to open no matter how hard he yanks it.
So he does the next most logical and appropriate thing an adult would do - he kicks the machine.
The photocopier is still jammed but he takes medical leave for his sprained toe.
Yixing cackles like a wild hyena.
Good news befalls upon him when he returns on Tuesday. Joonmyun, their department head joyfully welcomes him back. “Mr Kim is sick today,” he explains, “We need a substitute for his senior class.”
Luhan certainly does not squeal like a pubescent teenage girl and Joonmyun definitely does not give him a judgemental look.
Luhan takes purposeful strides to the classroom, filled with much vigour and enthusiasm. He fixes his hair and checks that he has all the materials in his hands.
Yes, he thinks to himself, I can do it.
It’s his first class ever since he got his job and he’s not about to mess up. He is so filled with hope in his life. His mother will be very proud of him. As he reaches the classroom door labelled ’04-01’, he takes a deep breath, and pushes the door open.
“Hello class,” he greets and settles his materials on the teacher’s desk. He surveys the entire class of 20 and says, “I’m Luhan, your-“
His eyes land on a student with brown hair sticking in random directions, looking like he just woke up from a nap and that he really didn’t want to be here. The student meets his gaze with a face that spells ‘I am disinterested, leave me alone’.
“Substation,” he ends off coherently like the totally professional and intelligent literature major he is.
The boy raises a brow at him and Luhan snaps out of his trance and corrects himself.
“Substitute teacher,” he averts his eyes from the smirking student and repeats, “I’m your substitute teacher.”
“Not any permutation of a building.” He adds after a second of contemplation just to be sure.
The class laughs good-naturedly and Luhan lets out an awkward chuckle before taking out his copy of A Midsummer Night’s Dream and urging his class to do the same. For the next 30 minutes, he tries his very best to look at every one of his students except the boy sitting at the back row of class. It sincerely takes a lot of effort to forcefully control his eyeballs when they’re always unconsciously sliding back to take peeks at the back row.
Self-control, Luhan, you’re not here to ogle at cute students. You’re here to impart knowledge about the splendid world of Shakespeare’s literature and the sexual innuendos he uses in his plays.
“So what do you think Hermia means when she says ‘you juggler, you canker-blossom, you thief of-”
Luhan’s eyeball had one job - to not ogle at his male student with cute eyes and nicely shaped eyebrows. And yet his eyeballs fail him as he glances at the boy, to find him sucking on the tip of his pen.
“Asdfghjkl?”
Ah, fuck.
When Luhan returns to the office, his face is in shades of red and he’s accumulating sweat under his pits. He plops down on his chair and heaves a sigh of relief that he is under the safety of boring schoolteachers and whirling of printers. No cute students giving him Inconvenient Boners and Inappropriate Fantasies.
However, he nearly falls off his chair when Jongdae’s head pops up from the grey divider and questions him. “Why are your pits wet?”
Luhan’s eyes dart around as he fumbles for an excuse. “Uh… there was an intensive discussion in class just now?” Satisfied with his excuse, he nods firmly. “Yeah, exciting discussion about the ideology of love behind A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Very nerve-wrecking. Very intense.”
Mr Kim is still sick the next day and so Luhan happily takes over the class again. When he enters class, he feels a deep pang of disappointment when he finds that the back row is devoid of a certain cute student with monolids and sharp chin. His smile falters a bit and suddenly he’s not all that excited to take over the class.
“Sorry I’m late.” A voice comes as a head of brown hair passes him and unhurriedly saunters to the back row. Okay, he’s excited again.
Luhan catches a whiff of musky cologne and he asks, “Where did you go?”
He secretly hopes it came out as a ‘responsible teacher enquiring about his student’s whereabouts’ tone rather than a ‘I’m a lovesick puppy getting lost without you’ tone.
“To pee,” the student answers as he sinks down to his seat.
“Oh,” Luhan tries to wave off the image of his student’s dick. And just because he can, and he wants to, he asks, “What’s your name?”
The boy grins. “Minseok.”
Luhan is determined to aggressively stalk him on Facebook after class.
At the alarming speed Luhan manages to find Minseok’s Facebook through thousands of profiles, the FBI should consider recruiting him. He spends his time in the office browsing through Minseok’s photo albums and finding out about his interest in soccer and lack of interest in literature, as proven by a status update one day ago:
Literature class makes me want to die. Someone stab me with a pencil please.
Luhan feels upset for exactly 43 seconds before lighting up again when he sees a photo of Minseok and his gummy smile. He clicks ‘save’.
“Jesus did a good job on that one.”
Luhan screams, scrambles to turn off his computer while simultaneously turning towards the voice.
“Oh God, Yixing,” Luhan pants. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“Jesus did who?” Jongdae’s head appears from behind the divider again.
“Nothing.” Luhan quickly closes the window.
“He’s creepily saving a guy’s Facebook pictures,” Yixing helpfully supplies.
Jongdae’s eyes light up with an evil glint. “Oh, really?”
MAYDAY, MAYDAY. ABORT MISSION, Luhan’s heart screams. “No. Go back to do your work.”
“Who is it?” Jongdae probes excitedly.
“No one.”
“Come on man,” Jongdae pouts, “That’s not what buddies are for.”
“If I didn’t remember wrongly,” Luhan says placidly, “I only met you last month.”
His colleague shrugs. “I make fast friends.”
During the short argument with Jongdae, Yixing has discreetly retrieved Luhan’s last closed window and is now scrolling though Minseok’s Facebook profile. “Who is Kim Minseok?”
“Kim Minseok as in the senior from the soccer team?” Jongdae roughly pushes Luhan’s head aside to get a closer look at Minseok’s cover photo.
Luhan silently prays that Satan would open a hole in the ground and swallow him to hell.
Kyungsoo, a teacher in Home Economics walks by and nods. “Minseok’s a good kid.”
“Seriously? Don’t you guys have some marking to do?” Luhan stares at the three teachers now crowding at his cubicle.
A thought strikes him and he belatedly asks Kyungsoo, “How’s he like?”
“Mostly quiet. Cute smile. Great at making macaroni.”
“I would like to try his macaroni,” Luhan dreamily sighs, earning disgusted looks from his fellow teachers.
A red head pops up behind Kyungsoo. Chanyeol, another substitute teacher glances at them curiously. “Whose macaroni?”
Jongdae enthusiastically welcomes him to the circle and is more than happy to recite to him the entire story from the top.
“Teachers are the worst.”
Luhan slams his head on his desk and blocks out the discussion surrounding his crush.
The hype dies down after a day and is quickly replaced by a mixture of mild perturb and annoyance because Luhan cannot stop marvelling about Minseok. Every minute he spends in the office, he spends it talking about the brown haired boy. From his favourite body part, the small quirks he observed in class, to the information he gathered about him via Dubiously Efficient Social Media Stalking.
“And today, he laughed at my joke once.”
“I love that smile where his left lip rises to a 17 degree angle, while the right lifts to 45 degree.”
“I found a strand of hair on his desk today. Do you want to touch it? It’s so soft. I can almost smell the shampoo he uses.”
“It’s like Jesus put in all his effort to create him, and left the rest of us to be shitty, you know?”
“No, I don’t know,” Jongdae sighs and rub his temples. “And speak for yourself, Jesus created me to be Korea’s Johnny Depp.”
It’s Friday and Luhan is still a creepy little shit.
“Look, look!” Luhan elbows Chanyeol’s side and gestures to food queue across the cafeteria.
Chanyeol manages to swallow the pieces of meatballs he almost spewed out and squints. “I don’t see anything.”
“There,” Luhan whispers, and Chanyeol can practically see the pink hearts bouncing off the Chinese man’s head.
At the far end of the cafeteria stands Minseok, dressed in normal shirt and jeans, picking out his lunch from the counter.
“Watch,” Luhan clutches Chanyeol’s arm and his eyes stare intently at the boy’s back. “He’s gonna pick up the chocolate milk.”
A second later, Minseok puts a packet of chocolate milk on his tray.
“And then he’ll take the club sandwich.”
Minseok does just that.
“Then he’ll reach for the apple.”
The boy’s hand hover above the container of apples-
“But then he’ll go for the banana instead.”
But Minseok shrugs and dumps a banana in his tray.
Luhan smugly grins while Chanyeol slinks away from him and eyes him apprehensively. “You sicko.”
By next Monday, the office is washed over by an odd silence that isn’t punctuated by Luhan’s daily worship of a certain soccer player. Being the ever-caring co-worker, Kyungsoo stalks to his Chinese colleague’s cubicle and checks up on him.
“Are you okay?”
Luhan’s right hand is holding a pen, pointing it down to a stack of assignments but he’s staring off to a distance, a wistful and faraway look on his face.
Kyungsoo furrows his brow in concern. “Luhan?”
He responses this time but his reflective gaze remains. “Don’t you just see yourself in him sometimes?”
“Uh…” Kyungsoo figures ‘him’ probably refers to the only thing Luhan talks about so he answers, “Kim Minseok? Not really?”
“No, no.” Luhan finally looks at him and the dreamy look on his face dissipates. “I mean in him. Like literally in him.”
“…”
“What the fuck.”
Luhan ignores the negative reaction and continues, “I really want to try his macaroni.”
“I hope you actually mean his cooking and not an insinuation of his dick.”
Joonmyun floats by them at this point with a blinding smile and exclaims, “Good news, Luhan! Mr Kim will be back on Wednesday, so you can stop relieving his lessons soon.”
The department head gives Luhan an encouraging pat on the back and strolls off, muttering words of encouragement to passing colleagues (“Nice use of fonts on your slides!” “I love the way you mark!”).
Kyungsoo swears he hears Symphony No.5 playing in the background as Luhan drops to his knees, raises both his arms and yells “NOOOOOOOOOO!”
“Class,” Luhan announces, regarding the class forlornly. “Mr Kim will be back on Wednesday so I won’t be seeing you anymore.”
The class breaks out into noises of pity and reluctance and Luhan discreetly glances at Minseok to see if he has such reaction. However, he is met with disappointment when Minseok merely sits there and looks on emotionlessly, mindlessly twirling a pen with his right hand.
Luhan sighs, “So I guess this is what Lysander means by ‘the course of true love never did run smooth’.
“There’ll always be obstacles in your path. People will always cockblock you from the love of your life. It’s so near, yet so far.”
The class exchange confused looks with each other. A girl raises her hand. “Teacher, are you sure you’re still talking about the book?”
Luhan ignores her as he goes on.
“Your crush might just be sitting in the back row of class, being all cute and shit, but he’ll never know what turmoil it brings you when you see him suck on his stationary like a nursery school kid.”
“Mr. Lu…?”
“But alas, love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged cupid painted blind. It’s such an unsanitary and disgusting habit, but yet you can only look on with loving eyes and a low hint of sexual desires.”
“I don’t think-“
“And to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays. And that is an undeniable truth-“
The bell rings and disrupts his poetic speech. The students scamper out of the classroom immediately, giving quick dismissive byes on the way out.
“Goodbye my love, treat this as nothing but a fleeting dream,” Luhan ends off dramatically, sniffing a couple of times for added effect. Goodbye Minseok, goodbye God’s finest creation.
As he continues to indulge in his melodrama, he fails to see a brown haired student approaching him and watching his outburst with a bemused grin.
“Hey Luhan.”
Luhan spins around and he’s face to face with the boy he dreams about at night and not so secretly jerks off to. His palms feel sweaty. He subtly wipes them on his pants while hoping that his hair looks good today.
“H-hi…” he stutters. Wow great charisma. Much attractive.
“So,” Minseok begins. Luhan eagerly nods, prompting him to go on. “You’ve been… entertaining.”
Luhan doesn’t know how to feel about that statement because while his heart is palpitating so loudly because he’s so near Minseok and damn does he smell great, his brain is trying to decipher what he means. So he settles for a small frown.
Minseok laughs. “But if you haven’t been so absorbed in watching me suck my pen, you would have realised that your crush isn’t all that unattainable.”
I bet his smile could bring dead people to life... Sucking pens- Wait what?! Luhan stares wide-eyed at Minseok and gapes.
“See you around, Luhan,” Minseok winks and walks off.
Luhan collapses to the floor. Taking up this job is the best decision in his entire life.
A/N: My Xiuhan feels these days.