I am at 110 I am an utter failure. Ap-on inspection of my body I see that age has left cruel room for improvement. I already have "fine lines" and need a breast left after having my son and a tummy tuck as well. I guess 10,000$ in plastic surgery to make me at least look my age.I guess I could look worse though and should be happy for what I  have.

109 well going in the right direction still hate seeing the number knowing that i was 103 and blew it.see if i can get to 100 by halloween.Moew people moving into my house hope they are nice I hate waring with neighbors.

Failure 111.1 i can't get control. Tomorrow I fast. A three day liquid fast. Or if I dont get back to 105 by then I'll just continue.

110.6 this is why i haven't posted here for a while but my weight hasen't improved so i need to be more vigilant with my posts. I have decided to set my sights on a goal weight of 95. I have started taking vitamins supplements as my hair has started falling out again(it never is noticable to anyone but me), and I have had bronchitis for a month and ( Read more... )

I read a post somewhere  that was talking about  movies about anorexia and i read on thinking maybe i could get some titles i don't already have. The is how fucked up I have become mind you. I have all the movies and all the books even the fictional ones. I thought I was alone. It seems everytime I think I do or have something strange I find out ( Read more... )

washed the car and cleaned the house tried to burn off the fucking icecream i have been eating. MAYBE i JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACT i WILL NEVER HAVE A MOVIE STAR FIGURE. But Nichole Richie did it. But she is wealthy and has acces to sorts of things. Maybe the ever elusive ephedra. I miss it. I got so much done when I had it. Plus it cured my ( Read more... )

OK the boys teeth are good and his 6 year molars are coming in. I forgot we got those. Maybe cuz the last time I was 6. Any way . I am trying to stay out of the kitchen and Dairy queen now makes goodies you can take home in a box for your freezer ...... thanks again. Even with spitting  I think I am getting fatter I thought 105 was good enough but ( Read more... )

Time to take the boyto the dentist he has 2 loose teeth bottom front. His first finally. He is just going in for a cleaning though.

I am up to 105 now lack of self control and a dairy queen with ice cream treats too close by. Damn their creamy goodness.

The neighbors on the 3rd floor are moving out and taking up 5 spaces!!!! wtf. OK my rant is ( Read more... )

YOu know I don't have many friends due to i am very picky. If your not in it for the long haul or using me I have no use for you. I thought I had made wise choices. I only have one friend left and we don't speak often since we both have jobs and kids/families now. Goes to prove how much time will erode away and expose for you. Even on my friends ( Read more... )

It seems that every week is the same cycle. Just repeating. And I have to keep smiling and pretending. I feel myself cracking. I feel like i need to brake the cycle of these repetition weeks or I am just wasting my life. I will be 28 in december and I have no idea how it got this far. I am nowhere I feel i have wasted to much time. What could I ( Read more... )