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[firing_blanks]

i was sitting on the floor yesterday, with my head on my coffee table where i had just finished snorting several lines of coke, high as fuck and literally dead, in the state that i get where i think my heart stops beating when my neighbor came by. i couldnt move to get the door so i just sat there, numb. he came in anyway, he knew that i was home.

Comments

[blankdrift]

No matter what our lives consist of, I think we all need to feel pride in the things we do well.

Next to desire, pride seems a reasonable motivation to keep going.

[nobreathtotake]

I'm going to write this because I know i'm going to be ignored.

I love you, and I want you to quit. I want to stop checking livejournal each day to see if your alive. I don't have anyone that comes online that knows you because Ryan stopped using messenger. In 79 days i'm supposed to have a daughter, and one day when needles and powder are out of the picture I want to know i'm able to come see you and tell you and show you how much i love you without worrying.

You didnt want me selling it or even letting me think about doing it. So why can't you be strong enough and stop too? I don't want to lose you and not even know Scott.