so i got a call this morning, but i was so tired that i didnt talk. now i regret that because james still hasnt called me back. but whatever, its not like i care, right? im trying not to care, or at least come off like nothings a big deal. i get to hang out with scott tonight. that will definatly be the highlight of my day. finally, ill get ( Read more... )

so im crying right now. i dont know why. i just hung up with james and i got this overwheliming feeling and tears started pouring out my eyes. i want to be with him so badly. i have a lump in my throat. i dont want to work on anything, i just want to wait for him, like I always do. . .

Okay so things are a little bit better today. I feel a lot better actually. I stopped being so clingy and I can tell the difference already. It hurts a little being more detached but I know it is for the best. And I realize that I cannot judge people, especially james. What was I thinking. I guess I just want everything to be perfect and I ( Read more... )

so the days just keep getting interesting. i feel like i always neeed to be in control. and then when im not i tend to drive people crazy. im afraid for the future because i know what i want but i dont see it happening. i want to marry someone who is closer to god than i am and right now james doesnt even go to church. i know that there are a ( Read more... )

this is who i am
im sorry if you dont like me
i wont change for you
ill only change for him
because he will only ask me to change for the better

why is it always so much harder to act than to speak?

trapped inside ( Read more... )