What album is all this stuff on? I'd really like to look into that. I'd love to have some more grief songs that describe how I feel. I love expression through music so much. It's cathartic.
Ya know, when I first pulled up my friends page I just saw this picture of a happy pregnant woman and I was thinking "Hey! Who's posting their pregnant belly in my universe dammit!" and then I saw it was you and said, "Awwwww..." and it was okay then. Isn't that silly when I know a mom has had a loss, her being pregnant doesn't bother me in the least but the thought of someone being pregnant and being able to carry about their life and go walking around and doing normal everyday things and then be able to bring home a healthy baby... well it just pisses me off because I think, "What makes her so much better than me that she can have all of that and I didn't?" Then I hear women say, "Oh I can't wait to get it out of me!" and I just growl under my breath.
these quotes are all from the choirgirl hotel. they arent actually in songs or anything. i got them from http://www.hereinmyhead.com
i used to say that i couldnt wait to fit into my old clothes again and now i look back and wish i had never said that. i look at my stretch marks and wish to god and goddess that i had my baby back.
I totally understand. I loved having a big pregnant belly but I gained 80 pounds with that pregnancy and I'm still 50 pounds over what I was when I got pregnant and I hate it.
Hey girl. I just so happened to get up and put in "Boys for Pele" today (yeah...immenced in my own b.s.) and started surfing the net for some Tori pictures...
When I came upon this page: http://aprettygarden.onmytoe.net/HTML/PM.htm and thought of you. I wasn't sure if you'd known about Tori's trials or the quotes that she has there... so I "virtually stopped by" to give this to ya. Obviously, you do, but thought I'd drop the link off anyway.
That actually kind of reminds me of what I wrote in my other journal when Eric's grandmother died, the first really loved one I had that died, and I was almost inconsolable about that: "There is no love without the eventuality of loss." It was a really new concept to me at the time, I guess...you always kind of know when you open yourself up to love someone that it's not a question of whether you'll lose them, but when.
So yeah, that makes a lot of sense...but it doesn't make anything better. Every day I pray for you and that you'll be able to find the strength to make your way through. It seems like kind of a hollow thing but I hope it helps you somehow.
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sometimes it's too big a price to pay. and other times it's not enough.
*hugs*, you'll always be a mommy, nothign can take that, nothing can take that away, no amount of age, greif, pain, time, diease, can take that.
I saw you become someone most mom's should strive to be.
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I totally second that sweetheart. <3
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Ya know, when I first pulled up my friends page I just saw this picture of a happy pregnant woman and I was thinking "Hey! Who's posting their pregnant belly in my universe dammit!" and then I saw it was you and said, "Awwwww..." and it was okay then. Isn't that silly when I know a mom has had a loss, her being pregnant doesn't bother me in the least but the thought of someone being pregnant and being able to carry about their life and go walking around and doing normal everyday things and then be able to bring home a healthy baby... well it just pisses me off because I think, "What makes her so much better than me that she can have all of that and I didn't?" Then I hear women say, "Oh I can't wait to get it out of me!" and I just growl under my breath.
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i used to say that i couldnt wait to fit into my old clothes again and now i look back and wish i had never said that. i look at my stretch marks and wish to god and goddess that i had my baby back.
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When I came upon this page: http://aprettygarden.onmytoe.net/HTML/PM.htm and thought of you. I wasn't sure if you'd known about Tori's trials or the quotes that she has there... so I "virtually stopped by" to give this to ya. Obviously, you do, but thought I'd drop the link off anyway.
*hugs*
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So yeah, that makes a lot of sense...but it doesn't make anything better. Every day I pray for you and that you'll be able to find the strength to make your way through. It seems like kind of a hollow thing but I hope it helps you somehow.
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