How you paw at me, pulling at my nipples with

lips and teeth like an infant, how you cling

to me in a crowd like a jealous toddler, and

though I love you tenderly, I wonder

were you not loved enough?

But you are not a child, with your

man-sized hands and muscles, and I’m not

your mother, stretched and and worn though I

am with the labor of you, I struggle

( Read more... )

So.. Boots & I, back together ( Read more... )

Twelve days. That's how long I could make it last.
Maybe this is a hiccup, but it feels more like a burp.No,  A sputtling and a choke.
I feel like such a failure. 
epic fail.

My knuckles couldn't be bruised enough. I want the skin cracked and bleeding.

There are fingers dancing
on my bones.
I peeled the skin away
to pull you closer
     inside of me-
was not good enough.
My vertebrae, shiny
&hard, glow.
In the dark, I am the moon.
There are kisses on
my clavicle and cartilage.
In the night, we are
sewn together
hip to hip.

There are fingers dancing
on my bones.
Ribs tickled as I doze,
by the hair on your
arms ( Read more... )

I'm going out with Chris now.

...yepppppp.

I love how my friends here at school get annoyed with me for being depressed for the THREE days that I've been here. Wow. Fuck.

Going back to school tomorrow. It will also be the beginning of my break with Matt. I'm worried, kind of. I'm sure I'll cry at some point but it'll be okay. I have to be careful not to involved with Chris again...for the both of our own good.  

now i'm craving cuddles & kisses & arms wrapped around me when i wake up. maybe taking a break is not what i want to do.

I can't fall asleep. I can't get Christopher, my Boots, out of my head. I don't know why because it really isn't true, but I can't push the thought "We had better sex than Matt & I" out of my head when it occasionally pops up. I can't plan to be single, plan to meet with my friend Josh for a possible hook-up (as he is on leave from Iraq in a month ( Read more... )

 I can't stand how depressed I get simply from looking at his pictures or watching a video of him on facebook. On facebook. I miss Chris a lot. Even though I was talking trash & trying to act all nonchalant when relaying all of the story to John about what has happened.. when I get home, and sit down alone on my couch, I feel so weak. I feel like ( Read more... )