I really suck at losing weight. I try to blame it on the people around me -- I live with three people who don't seem to care about their weight or health, so there is always junk food in my house, and my boyfriend has a wicked sweet tooth, so he always wants to get desserts when we go out to eat together -- but I really know it's my own weakness ( Read more... )

Darryl and I have been going back and forth about an issue since Friday, and yesterday it escalated into a fight. At this point, I don't see any possible resolution that will make either of us happy. I don't even feel like I can talk to anyone about it either. I don't want to talk to my family about it, because I don't want them to see him in a ( Read more... )

I'm such a dumbass sometimes ( Read more... )

I caught myself thinking of myself (please allow myself to introduce.... myself) as Darryl's "fat girlfriend." When I was growing up, my mom always called herself my "fat mama." Girls always seem to grow up fearing that they will someday turn into their mother. I know I did. And I see myself becoming more and more like her every day. I ( Read more... )

I was just looking at www.3fatchicks.com to get a weight loss ticker for my profile, and one of my coworkers came up to my desk. She saw this picture

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I don't know if thinking this way is stopping me from losing any weight, but I realized this morning that I don't believe I can do it. Even if I can lose the weight I want to lose, I don't believe I will keep it off. From the time I was a child, I watched my mom diet constantly, and watched her weight go up and down. She never got to a healthy ( Read more... )

Last night was a little bit ridiculous. On my way home from the gym, I was planning what I wanted to have for dinner. One slice of frozen cheese pizza and a big salad with balsamic vinegar. I got home and looked at the nutritional info for the pizza, and it was perfect. 290 calories per slice, if each slice was 1/5 of the pizza. I cooked it up ( Read more... )

ok, this is probably going to be my last entry in this journal (not that I was updating a ton anyway). My real journal is squeakykitty in case you want to add me.

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My muscles are sore, but not as sore as I had hoped they would be. I barely feel like I worked out at all. Maybe my muscles are used to it... or maybe I didn't work out hard enough last night. I'll push myself harder next time ( Read more... )