Words

[fjm]

"Sticks and stones will break my bones
But words will never harm me."

Possibly 1862, maybe earlier.

One of the great lies of the English nursery. Words are what make it possible for people to harm others: they set up legitimate targets, dehumanise the target, and ultimately excuse the attacker.

Comments

[kjn]

Well said. Dehumanising the target (or "remove their face", as Bujold once put it) is also one of the great enablers of violence.

Hang in there!

[la_marquise_de_]

I have always hated that saying. Pure victim-blaming.

[anna_wing]

I was taught it in the Stoic sense, and understood it to be the children's version of "They say? What say they? Let them say!"

[mevennen]

Yes, same here.

[fjm]

which I was taught separately, I wonder if there has been a shift?

[med_cat]

I wonder. But yes, that's also what I've understood the statement to mean.

Akin to an Arabic saying:

"The dog barks, but the caravan keeps moving on!"

[shewhomust]

I think of this as something to use, rather than something to believe: it's how you reply to the people who are calling you names, a denial of their power and a refusal to engage in their game.

But I don't know where I got that from...

[fjm]

It may depend who is telling it to you. Used as a defence by the name caller it may lose that power.

[desperance]

That's certainly the way we were raised to use it; I still hear it in my mother's voice, encouraging.

[shewhomust]

Yes, that's what I'm thinking: that your parents would offer this response...

[med_cat]

I've heard a different version, which, I think, is far more true:

"Stick and stones can break my bones,
but words can break my heart."

Also, love your LJ title :)

[med_cat]