my heart is pitty-patting. v-day was goood. cuddling on the sofa under a blanket with Max was very goood. sleeping in his arms was verrry goood. things are not the same. I think cupid bit me and it feels damn good.

here I am stuck at work thinkin' bout stuff and unable to do anything about it So I read the latest email from Max, my college professor fwb and I realize I miss him. we have an every-other weekend thing because of our work scheds this is the off weekend and I miss him self-analysis for dummies time WHAT do I feel WHY do I feel it WHY ( Read more... )

I'm at work right now. Getting paid good money for this entry. Loser, you know how I am. I get along with most everyone; but now I'm working with all women, and it sucks monkey balls. I hate all this damn estrogen crap. Women are backstabbing 2faced lying bitches. You can't trust 'em for nothing. I can say that cause I have ovaries. You can take ( Read more... )

I had a hard childhood for the most part. This was in the 60s in Appalachia. There were no social services in place for the working poor. I went to bed hungry so often that the dreams I remember having as a child are the ones where I either found money or found food. Then I woke up and would actually wonder where it had gone to. I became a bit more ( Read more... )

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The redhead came by today. He's been worried about me since I had a tiny nervous breakdown last week. I guess he wanted to see for himself that I'm ok now. So he came by between work and school; and he slept with me. Literally. Only I was awake the entire time. I don't think he ever got completely into REM sleep. I think that to some extent he ( Read more... )

matty and I calculated my life-experience age to be 28 I was married and fairly stagnant in growth for so many years and now I'm coming into my own as an independent adult ( Read more... )

sad that I keep up with my family by reading their entries here instead of talking to them, but I do work the vampire shift and that's my choice so suck it up girly girl ( Read more... )

Last night at 5p my ex fiance' called to see what I wanted to do for NYE. This was 5p on New Year's Eve. I told him I have a date, he says oh-ok, well Happy New Year. I say Happy new...he hangs up. I feel so guilty, I didn't have fun last night, I worried about him the whole night, dreamt about him too. All those days and nights I sat at home, ( Read more... )

words coming at you can have such a different meaning than the same words leaving the other persons mouth. pain is relative, sujective and illogical. no rhyme or reason why we feel what we do. sucks to the extreme at times. illogical. even when I think I am explaining my feelings so clearly they are misinterpreted. not just once, but twice. ( Read more... )