I will never forget kissing you in the rain behind the barn. My clothes soaking wet, your lips so soft, and you in my arms. Why did you ruin that?

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I guess I was fun to have around while you waited. Just someone to take you out, someone to fuck you, someone to give their everything, someone to fall in love with you. Why did you waste my time? A part of me really wants to know. What It really comes down to, I really came close to falling for it all. You're a liar. You're no good for me. ( Read more... )

I am sick to my stomach. I know more than I should now. This last mission I had a hard time falling asleep because my mind was filled with memories of us. I layed in bed and had flashbacks of Seattle, Memphis, Everywhere and they were so clear and fresh in my memory. I started to justify all the reasons I should have tried to make things better ( Read more... )

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Work is beyond anything than what I had pictured in my mind. I find myself there a lot. Especially these last two weeks. I've been coming in a few hrs early just to workout and mill around before our morning meetings. Tonight I got back from a week long operation and cant sleep much. I wanted a real shower and to sleep in my own bed tonight ( Read more... )

I am in a hotel in Ventura.  I had second thoughts about moving in with Junie.  I drove through the neighborhood one last time and decided it was too sketchy.  So I am searching for a room today.  The last few days have been pretty bad for me.  Im down here and all I can think about is her.      All I want is my Nicole.  I had a dream lastnight she ( Read more... )

Why does it hurts so much? Why is it that I said what I did, and I didn't mean it. I'm trying to lie to myself. I try to believe it so that way I can just move on. But I can't. She boasts about being so happy without me, and yet I am miserable. That girl was my whole world. I woke up this morning and wanted to vomit. I deleted what I wrote ( Read more... )

She is by far the fakest person I have ever wasted my time on.  Calling me this morning obviously for something thats only going to benefit herself.  Pretty standard.  Looking forward to being selfish she says.  She was selfish the whole time we were "together"  The simple fact I spoiled the crap out of her and she gave me a sweatshirt in return ( Read more... )

I understand why she felt I was controlling. Maybe it was because I knew more she wanted me to know. I knew who Nick was, and knew what she was doing. Did her husband? of course not. There isn't any excuse for sending half naked pictures to another guy when you're already married. Emotional and physical affairs will ruin relationships. End of ( Read more... )

why is everyone dying?