Sometimes I wonder what kind of person I am. I wish I had a previous relationship with my little before going into this process. I'm not the totally outgoing person, like certain sisters. I am needy, yes I know this. I've been working my ass off not to be like that, and I think it's been working. I also don't have a good perception of myself, so ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wonder why i'm the only one to ever make a first move. Does that make me weak? It certainly never gets me anywhere...

i don't think i've ever been this upset when fighting with someone. ever.

oh jesus i just looked at my last entry and nearly got sick. how things change. did i really think things would be different? perhaps. Thus why sometimes it fails at life to be on the optomistic outlook on life ( Read more... )

I just read over this last entry and just wow. It's funny how I came on here to post instead of my other lj name. This lj feels more secure, more intimate I suppose. Funny how i'm here to talk about Ryan again. Maybe things in my life are looking up, in correspondence with relationships. Lets hope so ( Read more... )

Missi and I were watching Jarhead today. The main guy reminded me of Ryan a little bit. His muscles, jaw line.. his chin. I don't know. I've tried to remain so detached from feelings because they never work out for me. I haven't even talked to Ryan since we've had sex. I mean, i tried calling and he tried (once). We just can't seem to get on the ( Read more... )

I can't even begin to understand what I am thinking right now. It's so strange how one thing can impact your life, your emotions, your actions, and your grievances. Although I didn't know those two girls, I basically graduated with their two brothers Bill and Chris. I don't understand how two of this town's most beloved, truly helpful, and most ( Read more... )

i don't know what is going on with me but its not kosher. One of those funks i guess.

bah. just trying to make effing conversation. a;ldfjk;aldkfj >:O ( Read more... )

i feel like i'm slipping, again.