I've realized while getting settled into my new home(fraternity house) that I have too much stuff. It's not that I keep a lot of things. Its that i don't throw them away. Anyway, livin here is already fun and I think I can really build on the opportunities that my brothers will give me to grow. Payment plans and classes aside, its good to be back.

Hey everybody. I've decided after much internal debating to restart these journal entries because I have found once again that I am running out of room for all these thoughts o' mine. Anyway a lot has happened since I last updated. I've completed my first year of college and have learned and grown a lot since then. I've realized some of my less ( Read more... )

Oh wow. I completely forgot i had one of these. Don't worry, its not like anything has happened at all since whenever i last updated. But this is my last two weeks here then its off into the college world. Yikes! I'm really nervous but also really happy that i finally get to go. On the other hand going and helping the drumline has had its fun ( Read more... )

Its been forever since i made an entry into this stupid journal. I honestly don't know why i do it, its not like i get any satisfaction or relief from telling a computer screen about my life. I guess its because i need to "voice" my feelings a lot, and usually this is the fastest way. I know, i know, i can call my friends (in case you're reading ( Read more... )

Man i hate beating myself up. It just plain hurts, hitting myself in the arm and the head and things. Ouch! No seriously i don't know what to do. I'm trying so hard to be happy and be the person everybody wants me to be and who i want to be. But its really hard. Especially with erin. She wants me to be a friend and i really want to be that, but my ( Read more... )

Yeah so graduation was a lot more fun than i expected. When you're walking across stage nothing else seems to matter, then all of the sudden its over with. Kinda like her at home. I can't find anything to do! I know that probably sounds incredibly whiny but its true. Nothing holds my interest even music. That's scary. I keep ending up by myself ( Read more... )

Today was the last day. I had lots of fun. I can honestly say i'm proud of this year and what i've accomplished but still can't help but look back and regret what i didn't do. Signing erin's yearbook was tough, i had to really focus on saying the right thing, but i think it came out good. I hope she likes it cuz thats all she's gonna have of me for ( Read more... )

So everything i wrote in my last entry was apparantly wrong. It was just a figment of imagination and completely wrong. Just great. So basically i am the biggest moron ever. You have no idea. That whole week was a waste of my time and energy being depressed and feeling rejected. Do you know how much it hurts finding out that you are a complete ( Read more... )

Boy i feel used. Wanna know why? Sure, I'll fill ya in. Erin basically ignored me all week pretending i didn't exist. Maybe it's just me but that really sucked. That's okay i said. Maybe she just doesn't want to talk to anybody. WRONG. She talked to all of her friends. Anyway, then after the best night of my life she starts to actually notice and ( Read more... )

I used to be good at dealing with problems and at least making them appear to not be there. But this one with erin just won't go away. I don't what it is anymore. I think Friday was the first time i hadn't walked her to her locker in months. Just wanted to see what she would do. Some sick part of me wants her to feel so guilty for breaking up ( Read more... )