i'm afraid that im fooling myself. that maybe i dont really wanna go to umd. i am jealous thta my friends got to look at different places and actually pick what happens to the rest of their life. i dont like knowing that i dont have control over this. but i cant tell anyone because i do want to go to umd. i want to go to the school that has that ( Read more... )

so i have a bit of time before physical therapy so i figured id update. so billy and i broke up. it was kind of bound to happen but still, im really upset. i miss knowing that there was someone i could text the dumbest thing in the world to, and know that he would reply with something that would undoubtedly make me laugh. i also miss how it used to ( Read more... )

so i havnt updated in forever, again. its just not a habit anymore. but i figured that now that i'm pretty bored over the summer, i should have lots of time to update and remember everything that goes on. well billys gone, and has been gone, and will be gone for a long time. but he finally got his cell phone back os thats very good. this week ive ( Read more... )

so i started looking at old lj entries and i remembered how much i loved having a documented story of my life. im kind of upset that i...missed so much of my life. like basically a whole year. i didnt update once during junior year. except for now ( Read more... )

( shes a rebel, shes a saint... )

so i have totally forgotten about lj. im kinda upset too, i was doingso good at keeping it. well im really only updatign to say how much im gonna miss everyone. i know i keep saying how much i wanna get away from here, but i only wanna get away from a few things. im gonna miss soo many people ( Read more... )

( unlock the secrets )

so i have been randomly happy recently. i love it, im so high on life randomly. its cool though. after i got over the slump of being sad i wasnt on jv, i was cool. varsity is actually pretty fun, even though both my shots today (i know, a big 2 shots) went to the same exact place, which was 3 inches away from the goal. grrr. oh well. i played the ( Read more... )

( and i said what about breakfast at tiffany's )

i dont let myself be happy anymore. everytime i am happy, i get really happy, and then the slightest things get me really upset. i guess its just easier to stay sad...
nothing will ever really make me happy again. things just arnt supposed to be good like that for me.