Someone Else [1/2]
Title: Someone Else [1/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KaiSoo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself. Jongin changed all that.
Author's Note: Please, no translations allowed!
Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.
Simply because he thought no one would listen if he said something.
Sometimes it bothered him too much that he wished he was able to say something-anything, but he couldn’t. He just didn’t want to start a fight...he had always hated arguments. His parents used to argue all the time with raised tones and Kyungsoo would lock himself in his room, pressing his hands against his ears, wishing that they would just stop. He tried talking when they had a scary argument once, but it didn’t end well. His father slapped him hard and his mother scolded him that it wasn’t his problem.
Kyungsoo learned that everything would be alright if he said nothing.
That reason was probably why the male stayed quiet, no matter how difficult it was.
So when Chanyeol started to change on the third month of their relationship, he couldn’t bring himself to ask.
Was it something he did? Was it something he said?
They weren’t exactly the loud or cheerful couple, but it didn’t mean that they were unhappy. Despite his goofy personality, Chanyeol was surprisingly mature and he treated Kyungsoo well. They didn’t communicate much, but at least they talked and for him, it was enough.
There were times when Kyungsoo wanted to ask. The question was already there on the tip of his tongue, but it never got out. Whenever Chanyeol turned to him with his brows raised high, Kyungsoo’s resolve wavered and he would crawl back into his cave and hide in his comfort zone, swallowing everything back. It was probably because...
Maybe he didn’t want to lose Chanyeol.
Or Chanyeol’s friends.
Because he certainly wouldn’t have any if it wasn’t for his relationship with the older male.
They didn’t talk much, but it was never a problem. But lately, it had become a problem for Kyungsoo because he had no idea what was in Chanyeol’s mind. If it was just silence between them, now it was suffocating silence. It had been going on for more than a week that Kyungsoo didn’t know what to do. It was obvious that something was off and yet, both of them still pretended like everything was alright.
Maybe it was just his imagination. Nothing was wrong between them. They were alright.
Then why did Kyungsoo feel like crying the minute he stepped in to the place?
The doe eyed male almost couldn’t hide his broken mask when he walked into the club. The smell of liquor and booze were filling the air and they nauseated Kyungsoo. He brought a hand to his face as he scanned around the crowded place to find a glimpse of anyone he knew. Kyungsoo caught the sight of Junmyeon waving a hand at him from their table and he breathed in relief. Without thinking, he shuffled forward through the sea of people to reach the fair skinned male.
“You’re late,” Junmyeon half yelled and gave Kyungsoo a smile. The latter felt puzzled at the empty chairs around them as he occupied a vacant one. As if he knew what he was thinking, Junmyeon leaned forward to Kyungsoo. “Yifan’s by the bar for the drinks... Sehun and Luhan are somewhere-I think they’re dancing...and Chanyeol’s off to find a quieter place to make a call.”
“Oh.”
Chanyeol went to make a phone call?
Kyungsoo absentmindedly took his phone out of his pocket, wondering if Chanyeol had gone to call him-just because-and his heart dropped because there was no activity on his phone.
No new text message.
No new missed call.
Kyungsoo’s grip on the phone tightened as he shifted his eyes to the dance floor. He briefly wondered why he came again-he was never one for clubbing.
“Kyungsoo-yah, you came.”
Yifan was the first one to get back to the table with a few drinks on his hands. The Chinese male handed Junmyeon his drink and placed the other bottles on the table. Junmyeon uttered a soft thank you and Kyungsoo found himself staring at the couple enviously. Yifan was always obvious about his affection toward Junmyeon. They had been together for quite a while now and they didn’t seem to have any problem. Kyungsoo wouldn’t be surprised if they decided to get married one day.
“Do you want something to drink? I can go back to the bar.”
Kyungsoo shook his head. “Thanks, but no thanks, hyung...”
“Hey.”
Kyungsoo smiled the moment he heard Chanyeol’s voice and he looked up. Chanyeol fanned his face with a hand and huffed. The tall male looked flushed and troubled. Kyungsoo shifted slightly to his left, allowing his boyfriend to occupy the vacant seat beside him. “H-hi...”
Where have you been...?
But of course Kyungsoo couldn’t ask even such a simple question.
Neither of them said a thing after that. Chanyeol had his attention fixed on the screen of his phone, clearly typing something. Kyungsoo tried to distract his mind by staring at Yifan and Junmyeon, but the way Yifan protectively wrapped his arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder just pained him more. The couple was engaged in a hushed conversation and Junmyeon giggled when his boyfriend whispered something into his ear and he nudged Yifan’s ribs playfully.
Isn’t that how a relationship should be...?
Kyungsoo sadly looked down.
Even in such crowd, the male felt extremely lonely.
Kyungsoo unconsciously shifted his glance to Chanyeol. He wished his boyfriend would pay attention to him the way Yifan did to Junmyeon. It probably wasn’t fair to compare because people weren’t the same and he couldn’t ask for every couple to have the same kind of relationship, but...somehow, he wished Chanyeol would tuck his phone away and talk to him and tell him sweet nothings that would make him feel precious. Kyungsoo wished...
...he wished Chanyeol would tell him what was wrong.
But his boyfriend seemed to have something on his mind and Kyungsoo didn’t want to add more burden to him by asking stupid questions.
So he leaned back on his chair and continued to scan around the place. Sehun and Luhan were still nowhere to be found. Sehun was four years younger than Luhan, but their relationship was even better than his and Chanyeol’s. There was a pale looking girl right on the corner and it seemed like she would vomit any minute-perhaps too much alcohol-and one of her friends hastily dragged her toward the restroom. Kyungsoo saw a few couples making out shamelessly at different places. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly even though it wasn’t itching and directed his gaze someplace else.
Which was a mistake.
Because he saw him.
Kyungsoo felt himself holding his breath the minute their eyes met. Usually, a stare with a stranger like that would only last for a couple of seconds. One of them had to look away first in order to know that it was only momentarily. But as seconds turned to minutes, it was then that Kyungsoo realized the male was really staring at him.
He gulped.
The male was sitting not too far from their table and it looked like he was also with his friends. Judging from his slender figure, he was probably as tall as Chanyeol. He had a slight, natural frown plastered on his tanned face since the first time their eyes met. It was like he was observing Kyungsoo...
Kyungsoo had the urge to look away because who knew, the male wasn’t staring at him and it was just his imagination, but something about the other male’s piercing gaze stunned him and he was unable to do anything but to stare back. He felt his palms began to sweat and when the male’s frown dissipated and he casually jerked his chin toward his direction, Kyungsoo’s heart missed a beat.
He’s...handsome.
Wait, what the hell was I thinking?
Kyungsoo finally had the courage to look away and laced his fingers together. His hands were a bit shaking and he inwardly scolded himself because he had a boyfriend and he wasn’t even supposed to stare at any other guy like that.
“Kyungsoo-yah?”
Junmyeon’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts and Kyungsoo threw his glance back to the older male. “Y-yes?”
“Why don’t you guys dance?” Junmyeon suggested. “I mean, clearly Sehun and Luhan are somewhere and someone has to stay here for the table...and Chanyeol looks like he could use some fun...right, Chanyeol?”
Kyungsoo batted his eyelashes several times before turning his head to Chanyeol. He had no idea who Chanyeol had been texting, but when Junmyeon said those words, his boyfriend locked his phone and the lights on the screen went off. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Chanyeol shrugging too nonchalantly to Kyungsoo’s liking.
“Why not?”
Don’t give in if you don’t want to, Kyungsoo wanted to cry as Chanyeol stood up. I don’t like dancing...you should know that...
Why did he even come to the club in the first place? Why did he agree...?
The thoughts ran through his mind but it was already too late to change it back. Kyungsoo shifted uncomfortably on his seat, obviously wanting to refuse the offer. But when he caught Junmyeon’s eyes and the latter smiled kindly as if to encourage him, it got Kyungsoo to sigh in defeat.
“...okay.”
“Have fun.”
Kyungsoo reluctantly followed Chanyeol to the dance floor. He instinctively grabbed the end of his boyfriend’s shirt-so that they wouldn’t get separated in the crowd.
Chanyeol didn’t even hold his hands.
It saddened Kyungsoo so much that he didn’t want to do anything but to go home immediately. When they arrived at the dance floor, Chanyeol started following the rhythm of the music even though his face betrayed his movement. It looked like his mind was somewhere else but there. His expression almost showed that he carried the burden of the world and Kyungsoo wished there was something he could do.
What’s wrong with us...?
Why can’t we be like...Junmyeon and Yifan...?
Kyungsoo’s eyes became teary at the thought and he pressed his palms on his face. “Chanyeol, I’m sorry, I-“
He didn’t get to finish his sentence because Kyungsoo froze upon seeing the handsome male in the throng of people. How did he...? Just as he guessed earlier, the tanned male was tall and he stood out among the crowd. He had a handsome, flawless face and Kyungsoo’s mouth went dry. His heartbeat increased dramatically and he wondered why the male was there on the dance floor instead of by the table with his friends.
“Kyungsoo.”
“Huh?” Kyungsoo looked up.
Chanyeol explained nothing but to lean down to kiss Kyungsoo. Their lips met and the latter nearly gasped against Chanyeol’s lips. Instead of closing from the kiss, his eyes widened in shock. Kyungsoo never expected Chanyeol to suddenly kiss him like that and he felt the insides of his stomach turned around like he had eaten something that had expired.
He’s staring...?
Kyungsoo abruptly broke the kiss. He almost pushed Chanyeol away, but fortunately the sane part of him still prevented him from doing so. They stayed close, but Kyungsoo was so confused with what he felt and hugged himself. Wasn’t he just asking himself what was wrong with their relationship and now that Chanyeol tried to kiss him, he freaked out?
“I’m-I’m sorry-“
Chanyeol shook his head. “No, it’s me who’s sorry-“
All of a sudden, the music was too loud for Kyungsoo and he felt like crying. “I-I should probably go...”
“Okay,” Chanyeol replied and squeezed his shoulder lightly. “Do you want to say goodbye to the others first or-“
“No, tell them I need to leave, okay?”
Kyungsoo placed his hand on Chanyeol’s arm almost apologetically. Chanyeol looked at him and his orbs were filled with confusion, but it was the same with Kyungsoo. Without waiting for any reply, the male hastily pulled his hand off of Chanyeol and turned around to leave.
He didn’t belong there.
***
Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.
But it was just because he had no friends.
Kyungsoo was able to go home earlier than usual that day and he somewhat wished Chanyeol would be able to grab dinner together. It had been a while since they last had a decent date like in a restaurant or a cafe or even watch a movie. Kyungsoo bit his lower lip as he patiently listened to the tone, half hoping that Chanyeol would pick up his call soon.
Chanyeol didn’t.
Kyungsoo sighed.
Maybe he’s busy.
Kyungsoo ended up going to the minimarket he frequented to buy a few ingredients for dinner. Cooking had always been the best way to take his mind off of things. He hoped it would help take his mind off of Chanyeol because almost an hour had passed since his last call and his boyfriend hadn’t returned it at all. Kyungsoo tilted his head to a side and absently trailed his fingers on several bags of chips.
Might as well eat something unhealthy tonight...
After grabbing and shoving the things he needed into the basket, Kyungsoo walked to the cashier and queued in line. When it was almost his turn, the male searched for his wallet in his bag. But after seconds of raiding, Kyungsoo realized that his wallet wasn’t there.
“Good evening. Will it be cash or credit, sir?”
Kyungsoo went pale and searched his bag once again, wanting to make sure. Sometimes things just went missing when you needed them the most.
The cashier waited patiently, but when Kyungsoo almost wildly poured the contents of his bag onto the counter, her expression changed.
“My wallet,” Kyungsoo whispered in confusion. “It’s-it’s gone-“
“Sir, if you need some more time to look for your wallet, you can step aside and let the others pay first,” she politely informed Kyungsoo, but her expression showed that she was actually annoyed.
Kyungsoo felt his cheeks reddened at the gesture and he vaguely nodded. Did he leave his wallet in the office...? He was quite unfocused when he tried to call Chanyeol earlier... But what if someone stole it and he didn’t realize it at all? Everything was in there-his cards, his IDs, Chanyeol’s photo-
“Oh God,” Kyungsoo whimpered weakly.
“Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to-“
“That would be cash.”
Kyungsoo was close to breaking into tears (simply because he was panicked) when he heard a firm voice beside him. He stifled a sob as he glanced up and everything seemed to come to a stop.
It was the tanned skin male at the club from the other day.
“O-oh,” the cashier stuttered. “It will be cash, then.”
“Yes.” The male turned to Kyungsoo with a smile and stroke his hair. “I’m sorry I’m late. Did you forget that your wallet is in the apartment? And I told you I will pay.”
Kyungsoo was too dumbfounded to reply anything. He finally nodded after the handsome male gave him a look and he decided to play along.
“I’m sorry, I forgot...”
The girl’s jaw involuntarily dropped because dammit the male was very handsome. She snapped herself back to life when she earned firm stares from the other people behind Kyungsoo and proceeded as quick as she could. Kyungsoo’s mouth went dry when the taller male stayed close beside him as he eyed the cashier’s movement. He handed her a few bills after everything was done and she handed him back some change. After taking the grocery bags, the tanned male nodded slightly at the cashier before patting Kyungsoo on the back.
“Let’s go.”
Kyungsoo unwillingly followed the male (well, willingly, first because he had his groceries and second, because he practically saved him) outside the store. They walked a few more steps before the other male abruptly stopped and turned around to face him. Kyungsoo drew in a deep breath.
It was really the male at the club.
And he’s really handsome.
“Here,” the male handed him all of the plastic bags.
“Th-thank you.”
“Do you live far from here?”
“Eh? Yeah... J-just a few blocks...”
“Then you should be alright.”
“I-“ Kyungsoo paused. He was being very rude, wasn’t he? The male had helped him and he could at least do something to pay him back. “I’m sorry, I-I think I left my wallet in the office...but I’m gonna have to check it first. Oh God, I am so clumsy... I-I will pay you back as soon as I can...”
The taller male only stared when Kyungsoo shifted all of the bags into a hand and his other hand roamed freely on his own thighs and buttocks just to find the phone. He needed to call the guard in the office just to make sure.
“It’s okay. As long as you find your wallet.”
“B-but-“ Kyungsoo looked like he was about to cry any minute now. He was about to dump the content of his bag for the second time, this time onto the ground when the tanned male stopped him before he got the chance to.
“Calm down,” the male said as he pressed one of his palms against Kyungsoo’s left chest. “Are you looking for your phone? It’s here.”
In a normal situation, Kyungsoo would probably freak out for having a stranger pressing his hand on his chest. But they weren’t in a normal situation right now. Kyungsoo felt heat was creeping onto his cheeks and he casually took the phone out of his shirt’s pocket. But his embarrassment all soon faded and the emotions in his eyes dimmed when he spotted Chanyeol’s latest text.
I can’t tonight, Kyungsoo. I’m sorry.
Kyungsoo’s expression darkened.
“Is that your boyfriend the other night?”
Kyungsoo abruptly looked up to the tanned skin male.
He...he remembered me...?
“Y-yes,” Kyungsoo stammered nervously. Wait, why did he say yes? But-but of course, yes.
“Hm,” the male hummed. “What’s your name?”
“K-Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo immediately regretted it because maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t give his name to a stranger that he knew nothing about. But-but the stranger was nice and he helped him and he remembered him and he leaned forward to him and-and he what?? Kyungsoo automatically shut his eyes in fear when the other male leaned closer-
-only to find that he did nothing but to stroke his hair.
Kyungsoo fluttered his eyes open in uncertainty and caught the taller male staring at him.
“Give me your phone.”
“Huh?”
“Your phone.”
Kyungsoo obeyed.
The tanned male played with the phone momentarily before handing it back to him. Kyungsoo accepted in confusion and his eyes slightly widened at the newly registered number.
“Just in case you need someone to talk to.”
He smiled.
“Don’t worry, I’m free most of the time.”
With that, he turned around to walk to the opposite direction and waved his hand dismissively.
Kyungsoo’s lips slightly trembled as he looked down to his phone.
Kim Jongin.
Kyungsoo felt his heart skipping a beat.
Just like that night at the club.
***
Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.
But honestly, it was because he had no one to share with.
He still didn’t talk much with Chanyeol a week after his encounter with Jongin at the minimarket. His boyfriend still texted him, but it was really seldom that Kyungsoo could count how many texts he got with his finger. It wasn’t like they texted a lot, but after that night in the club, somehow their relationship felt even more different. Not forgetting to mention awkward.
There were times when Kyungsoo felt really down and confused and unsure and lost but no one was there for him.
Needless to say, the doe eyed male cried himself to sleep every night.
Chanyeol hadn’t contacted him in the following week and it was starting to make him sleepless. It saddened Kyungsoo so much that he was unable to concentrate at work. He was unable to focus and his work was messed up. It affected him a lot that his boss had even scolded his work and threatened to fire him if this kept going on. As if it wasn’t enough, his colleague-someone named Hyunsik-who he barely knew, confessed to him on the lunch break.
“I-I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo muttered bashly. “I have a boyfriend...”
“You do?” Hyunsik raised a brow. “Oh.”
The male said nothing more after that but Kyungsoo felt like he had just received a hard slap on his face. He didn’t know he have a boyfriend? Well, his relationship with Chanyeol hadn’t been that long, but...surely Hyunsik would know...
Kyungsoo deadpanned.
Chanyeol never even picked me up at work.
Which was probably why Hyunsik didn’t know that Kyungsoo was unavailable.
The feeling of wanting to ask what was wrong was huge that Kyungsoo almost couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to, no, he needed to talk to Chanyeol. He wanted to know what he had done wrong.
So Kyungsoo, determined to solve whatever it was that happened between them, dialed his boyfriend’s number the minute he signed out of his office and waited.
His heart dropped when the other line was turned off.
What...?
Kyungsoo’s calls went straight to voice mails no matter how much he tried. He finally gave up after the umpteenth attempt and sighed in frustration.
Is he...avoiding me?
Groaning, Kyungsoo tucked his phone rather harshly into his pocket and deadpanned when he accidentally saw the last dialed numbers. He rarely communicated to anyone, so his call logs probably never changed. It was still in the same order with the ones from weeks ago. Kyungsoo’s thumb hovered against his screen, as if wanting to wipe the number below Chanyeol’s.
Kim Jongin.
‘Just in case you need someone to talk to’.
Did he mean...this?
Kyungsoo shook his head roughly and puffed his cheeks. Instead of calling the newest contact, he stubbornly tried once again to reach his boyfriend and successfully failed. Chanyeol was still unreachable. Kyungsoo almost sobbed at the fact and helplessly pressed his fingers on the screen.
“Hello?”
Kyungsoo’s eyes widened and hastily brought the device to his ear. “Ch-Chanyeol???”
“No, this is Jongin.”
Kyungsoo froze. He must have dialed the wrong number-oh, stupid touch screen!! Kyungsoo went pale and glanced at his screen. It really wasn’t Chanyeol. It was really Jongin.
“...Kyungsoo?”
Kyungsoo gasped. How did he...? He chose not to answer and palmed his mouth, not knowing what to do. Should he end the call? Should he apologize? Should he...?
“Do you like bubble tea?”
It got Kyungsoo to blink questioningly. Bubble tea...? The first image that came to his mind was some kind of foamy drinks with tea flavor.
“Is it...,” Kyungsoo breathed. “Is it...good?”
“It’s sweet. Where are you right now?”
“I’m still-“ Kyungsoo looked around in confusion. “I’m still near my office...”
“I’ll meet you at the station?”
“Sure,” Kyungsoo replied and he immediately slapped a hand over his mouth. What the hell did he just say? “I-I mean-“
“Good. See you there.”
With that, Jongin hung up at the end of the line and Kyungsoo felt like pulling his hair away.
It was a mistake. What the hell did he just do? Jongin was a stranger. A handsome stranger. But he had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who ignores you.
Kyungsoo mentally berated himself and pressed his palms on his cheeks. He must have looked funny because a few people were starting to look his way. Kyungsoo shut his eyes and hung his head in shame.
What did you do, Do Kyungsoo...?
But...
There was something about the taller male that soothe him. The moment he heard Jongin’s voice, he felt utterly calmed, like everything was going to be alright. It was the same feeling with the one he had the other night when Jongin had helped him. Kyungsoo didn’t know if it was just that one time because he was confused...or because the gentle pat on his hair was extra comforting.
How long had it been since someone asked him what he liked...?
Besides, it wasn’t like Jongin would come.
The tanned male could be just toying around...
Fifteen minutes later, Kyungsoo arrived at the station. He scanned the place thoroughly and noticed that Jongin hadn’t arrived yet.
Kyungsoo was probably early...or late? Jongin never said at what time their meeting was... He deliberately sat on the nearest bench available with his legs crossed at the ankle. His phone was placed on his lap and Kyungsoo gave it a cold stare.
What if Jongin didn’t come?
Then it wasn’t a big deal. Then Kyungsoo could go home and spend the rest of his day weeping because by then, he would know that he was destined to be alone-because even a stranger refused to spend some time with him.
But what if Jongin did come?
“Kyungsoo.”
The said male looked up at the mention of his name and his jaw involuntarily dropped because of several reasons.
One, he knew that Jongin was handsome. The other day in the night club, the place was badly lit and the lighting was all dim so he wasn’t able to take a good look (and their accidental meeting at the minimarket was another prove that he was good looking). But now, under the bright light, Jongin looked extremely gorgeous. He had a shocking blond hair that went contrast with his skin color and yet he still looked good with it. The tall male was clad in jeans and oversize tee with a dark colored jacket.
Something grew within Kyungsoo and he was terrifed.
Why and what, he wasn’t sure.
Two, because Jongin really came.
“I thought you’d never call.”
It never occurred to him of what to do if Jongin came.
Kyungsoo felt awful. His chest tightened at the weird sensation and he was confused of what he had been feeling lately. To make it even worse, he was still in a relationship with Chanyeol. “I’m-I’m sorry, this is a mistake-“
“Hey,” Jongin said as he grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm. “We’re not doing anything.”
Kyungsoo was taken aback at the remark. Their eyes met and he could see the sincerity in the other male’s orbs. Jongin had a point. They did nothing. They were just...going to grab drinks, right? Kyungsoo reluctantly casted a glance down to his hands and nodded.
“Don’t be scared,” Jongin said softly. “So, shall we have that bubble tea?”
Kyungsoo stiffened. “Bubble tea...? O-oh. That...”
Jongin solemnly stared at him. “You’re scared to be seen with me in public.”
It amazed Kyungsoo to no end at the fact that they only met for five minutes and the taller male could already read his mind. “It-it’s not like that-“
Jongin patted Kyungsoo’s head caringly. “You can walk in front of me and we can pretend like we don’t know each other.”
Kyungsoo froze. “Wh-what...?”
“Come on, I’m thirsty,” Jongin swept his blond locks and playfully nudged Kyungsoo. “Don’t worry, I’m right behind you.”
Funny because Kyungsoo believed Jongin’s words as the other male broke into a kind smile.
Somehow, he felt safe.
[2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KaiSoo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself. Jongin changed all that.
Author's Note: Please, no translations allowed!
Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.
Simply because he thought no one would listen if he said something.
Sometimes it bothered him too much that he wished he was able to say something-anything, but he couldn’t. He just didn’t want to start a fight...he had always hated arguments. His parents used to argue all the time with raised tones and Kyungsoo would lock himself in his room, pressing his hands against his ears, wishing that they would just stop. He tried talking when they had a scary argument once, but it didn’t end well. His father slapped him hard and his mother scolded him that it wasn’t his problem.
Kyungsoo learned that everything would be alright if he said nothing.
That reason was probably why the male stayed quiet, no matter how difficult it was.
So when Chanyeol started to change on the third month of their relationship, he couldn’t bring himself to ask.
Was it something he did? Was it something he said?
They weren’t exactly the loud or cheerful couple, but it didn’t mean that they were unhappy. Despite his goofy personality, Chanyeol was surprisingly mature and he treated Kyungsoo well. They didn’t communicate much, but at least they talked and for him, it was enough.
There were times when Kyungsoo wanted to ask. The question was already there on the tip of his tongue, but it never got out. Whenever Chanyeol turned to him with his brows raised high, Kyungsoo’s resolve wavered and he would crawl back into his cave and hide in his comfort zone, swallowing everything back. It was probably because...
Maybe he didn’t want to lose Chanyeol.
Or Chanyeol’s friends.
Because he certainly wouldn’t have any if it wasn’t for his relationship with the older male.
They didn’t talk much, but it was never a problem. But lately, it had become a problem for Kyungsoo because he had no idea what was in Chanyeol’s mind. If it was just silence between them, now it was suffocating silence. It had been going on for more than a week that Kyungsoo didn’t know what to do. It was obvious that something was off and yet, both of them still pretended like everything was alright.
Maybe it was just his imagination. Nothing was wrong between them. They were alright.
Then why did Kyungsoo feel like crying the minute he stepped in to the place?
The doe eyed male almost couldn’t hide his broken mask when he walked into the club. The smell of liquor and booze were filling the air and they nauseated Kyungsoo. He brought a hand to his face as he scanned around the crowded place to find a glimpse of anyone he knew. Kyungsoo caught the sight of Junmyeon waving a hand at him from their table and he breathed in relief. Without thinking, he shuffled forward through the sea of people to reach the fair skinned male.
“You’re late,” Junmyeon half yelled and gave Kyungsoo a smile. The latter felt puzzled at the empty chairs around them as he occupied a vacant one. As if he knew what he was thinking, Junmyeon leaned forward to Kyungsoo. “Yifan’s by the bar for the drinks... Sehun and Luhan are somewhere-I think they’re dancing...and Chanyeol’s off to find a quieter place to make a call.”
“Oh.”
Chanyeol went to make a phone call?
Kyungsoo absentmindedly took his phone out of his pocket, wondering if Chanyeol had gone to call him-just because-and his heart dropped because there was no activity on his phone.
No new text message.
No new missed call.
Kyungsoo’s grip on the phone tightened as he shifted his eyes to the dance floor. He briefly wondered why he came again-he was never one for clubbing.
“Kyungsoo-yah, you came.”
Yifan was the first one to get back to the table with a few drinks on his hands. The Chinese male handed Junmyeon his drink and placed the other bottles on the table. Junmyeon uttered a soft thank you and Kyungsoo found himself staring at the couple enviously. Yifan was always obvious about his affection toward Junmyeon. They had been together for quite a while now and they didn’t seem to have any problem. Kyungsoo wouldn’t be surprised if they decided to get married one day.
“Do you want something to drink? I can go back to the bar.”
Kyungsoo shook his head. “Thanks, but no thanks, hyung...”
“Hey.”
Kyungsoo smiled the moment he heard Chanyeol’s voice and he looked up. Chanyeol fanned his face with a hand and huffed. The tall male looked flushed and troubled. Kyungsoo shifted slightly to his left, allowing his boyfriend to occupy the vacant seat beside him. “H-hi...”
Where have you been...?
But of course Kyungsoo couldn’t ask even such a simple question.
Neither of them said a thing after that. Chanyeol had his attention fixed on the screen of his phone, clearly typing something. Kyungsoo tried to distract his mind by staring at Yifan and Junmyeon, but the way Yifan protectively wrapped his arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder just pained him more. The couple was engaged in a hushed conversation and Junmyeon giggled when his boyfriend whispered something into his ear and he nudged Yifan’s ribs playfully.
Isn’t that how a relationship should be...?
Kyungsoo sadly looked down.
Even in such crowd, the male felt extremely lonely.
Kyungsoo unconsciously shifted his glance to Chanyeol. He wished his boyfriend would pay attention to him the way Yifan did to Junmyeon. It probably wasn’t fair to compare because people weren’t the same and he couldn’t ask for every couple to have the same kind of relationship, but...somehow, he wished Chanyeol would tuck his phone away and talk to him and tell him sweet nothings that would make him feel precious. Kyungsoo wished...
...he wished Chanyeol would tell him what was wrong.
But his boyfriend seemed to have something on his mind and Kyungsoo didn’t want to add more burden to him by asking stupid questions.
So he leaned back on his chair and continued to scan around the place. Sehun and Luhan were still nowhere to be found. Sehun was four years younger than Luhan, but their relationship was even better than his and Chanyeol’s. There was a pale looking girl right on the corner and it seemed like she would vomit any minute-perhaps too much alcohol-and one of her friends hastily dragged her toward the restroom. Kyungsoo saw a few couples making out shamelessly at different places. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly even though it wasn’t itching and directed his gaze someplace else.
Which was a mistake.
Because he saw him.
Kyungsoo felt himself holding his breath the minute their eyes met. Usually, a stare with a stranger like that would only last for a couple of seconds. One of them had to look away first in order to know that it was only momentarily. But as seconds turned to minutes, it was then that Kyungsoo realized the male was really staring at him.
He gulped.
The male was sitting not too far from their table and it looked like he was also with his friends. Judging from his slender figure, he was probably as tall as Chanyeol. He had a slight, natural frown plastered on his tanned face since the first time their eyes met. It was like he was observing Kyungsoo...
Kyungsoo had the urge to look away because who knew, the male wasn’t staring at him and it was just his imagination, but something about the other male’s piercing gaze stunned him and he was unable to do anything but to stare back. He felt his palms began to sweat and when the male’s frown dissipated and he casually jerked his chin toward his direction, Kyungsoo’s heart missed a beat.
He’s...handsome.
Wait, what the hell was I thinking?
Kyungsoo finally had the courage to look away and laced his fingers together. His hands were a bit shaking and he inwardly scolded himself because he had a boyfriend and he wasn’t even supposed to stare at any other guy like that.
“Kyungsoo-yah?”
Junmyeon’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts and Kyungsoo threw his glance back to the older male. “Y-yes?”
“Why don’t you guys dance?” Junmyeon suggested. “I mean, clearly Sehun and Luhan are somewhere and someone has to stay here for the table...and Chanyeol looks like he could use some fun...right, Chanyeol?”
Kyungsoo batted his eyelashes several times before turning his head to Chanyeol. He had no idea who Chanyeol had been texting, but when Junmyeon said those words, his boyfriend locked his phone and the lights on the screen went off. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Chanyeol shrugging too nonchalantly to Kyungsoo’s liking.
“Why not?”
Don’t give in if you don’t want to, Kyungsoo wanted to cry as Chanyeol stood up. I don’t like dancing...you should know that...
Why did he even come to the club in the first place? Why did he agree...?
The thoughts ran through his mind but it was already too late to change it back. Kyungsoo shifted uncomfortably on his seat, obviously wanting to refuse the offer. But when he caught Junmyeon’s eyes and the latter smiled kindly as if to encourage him, it got Kyungsoo to sigh in defeat.
“...okay.”
“Have fun.”
Kyungsoo reluctantly followed Chanyeol to the dance floor. He instinctively grabbed the end of his boyfriend’s shirt-so that they wouldn’t get separated in the crowd.
Chanyeol didn’t even hold his hands.
It saddened Kyungsoo so much that he didn’t want to do anything but to go home immediately. When they arrived at the dance floor, Chanyeol started following the rhythm of the music even though his face betrayed his movement. It looked like his mind was somewhere else but there. His expression almost showed that he carried the burden of the world and Kyungsoo wished there was something he could do.
What’s wrong with us...?
Why can’t we be like...Junmyeon and Yifan...?
Kyungsoo’s eyes became teary at the thought and he pressed his palms on his face. “Chanyeol, I’m sorry, I-“
He didn’t get to finish his sentence because Kyungsoo froze upon seeing the handsome male in the throng of people. How did he...? Just as he guessed earlier, the tanned male was tall and he stood out among the crowd. He had a handsome, flawless face and Kyungsoo’s mouth went dry. His heartbeat increased dramatically and he wondered why the male was there on the dance floor instead of by the table with his friends.
“Kyungsoo.”
“Huh?” Kyungsoo looked up.
Chanyeol explained nothing but to lean down to kiss Kyungsoo. Their lips met and the latter nearly gasped against Chanyeol’s lips. Instead of closing from the kiss, his eyes widened in shock. Kyungsoo never expected Chanyeol to suddenly kiss him like that and he felt the insides of his stomach turned around like he had eaten something that had expired.
He’s staring...?
Kyungsoo abruptly broke the kiss. He almost pushed Chanyeol away, but fortunately the sane part of him still prevented him from doing so. They stayed close, but Kyungsoo was so confused with what he felt and hugged himself. Wasn’t he just asking himself what was wrong with their relationship and now that Chanyeol tried to kiss him, he freaked out?
“I’m-I’m sorry-“
Chanyeol shook his head. “No, it’s me who’s sorry-“
All of a sudden, the music was too loud for Kyungsoo and he felt like crying. “I-I should probably go...”
“Okay,” Chanyeol replied and squeezed his shoulder lightly. “Do you want to say goodbye to the others first or-“
“No, tell them I need to leave, okay?”
Kyungsoo placed his hand on Chanyeol’s arm almost apologetically. Chanyeol looked at him and his orbs were filled with confusion, but it was the same with Kyungsoo. Without waiting for any reply, the male hastily pulled his hand off of Chanyeol and turned around to leave.
He didn’t belong there.
***
Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.
But it was just because he had no friends.
Kyungsoo was able to go home earlier than usual that day and he somewhat wished Chanyeol would be able to grab dinner together. It had been a while since they last had a decent date like in a restaurant or a cafe or even watch a movie. Kyungsoo bit his lower lip as he patiently listened to the tone, half hoping that Chanyeol would pick up his call soon.
Chanyeol didn’t.
Kyungsoo sighed.
Maybe he’s busy.
Kyungsoo ended up going to the minimarket he frequented to buy a few ingredients for dinner. Cooking had always been the best way to take his mind off of things. He hoped it would help take his mind off of Chanyeol because almost an hour had passed since his last call and his boyfriend hadn’t returned it at all. Kyungsoo tilted his head to a side and absently trailed his fingers on several bags of chips.
Might as well eat something unhealthy tonight...
After grabbing and shoving the things he needed into the basket, Kyungsoo walked to the cashier and queued in line. When it was almost his turn, the male searched for his wallet in his bag. But after seconds of raiding, Kyungsoo realized that his wallet wasn’t there.
“Good evening. Will it be cash or credit, sir?”
Kyungsoo went pale and searched his bag once again, wanting to make sure. Sometimes things just went missing when you needed them the most.
The cashier waited patiently, but when Kyungsoo almost wildly poured the contents of his bag onto the counter, her expression changed.
“My wallet,” Kyungsoo whispered in confusion. “It’s-it’s gone-“
“Sir, if you need some more time to look for your wallet, you can step aside and let the others pay first,” she politely informed Kyungsoo, but her expression showed that she was actually annoyed.
Kyungsoo felt his cheeks reddened at the gesture and he vaguely nodded. Did he leave his wallet in the office...? He was quite unfocused when he tried to call Chanyeol earlier... But what if someone stole it and he didn’t realize it at all? Everything was in there-his cards, his IDs, Chanyeol’s photo-
“Oh God,” Kyungsoo whimpered weakly.
“Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to-“
“That would be cash.”
Kyungsoo was close to breaking into tears (simply because he was panicked) when he heard a firm voice beside him. He stifled a sob as he glanced up and everything seemed to come to a stop.
It was the tanned skin male at the club from the other day.
“O-oh,” the cashier stuttered. “It will be cash, then.”
“Yes.” The male turned to Kyungsoo with a smile and stroke his hair. “I’m sorry I’m late. Did you forget that your wallet is in the apartment? And I told you I will pay.”
Kyungsoo was too dumbfounded to reply anything. He finally nodded after the handsome male gave him a look and he decided to play along.
“I’m sorry, I forgot...”
The girl’s jaw involuntarily dropped because dammit the male was very handsome. She snapped herself back to life when she earned firm stares from the other people behind Kyungsoo and proceeded as quick as she could. Kyungsoo’s mouth went dry when the taller male stayed close beside him as he eyed the cashier’s movement. He handed her a few bills after everything was done and she handed him back some change. After taking the grocery bags, the tanned male nodded slightly at the cashier before patting Kyungsoo on the back.
“Let’s go.”
Kyungsoo unwillingly followed the male (well, willingly, first because he had his groceries and second, because he practically saved him) outside the store. They walked a few more steps before the other male abruptly stopped and turned around to face him. Kyungsoo drew in a deep breath.
It was really the male at the club.
And he’s really handsome.
“Here,” the male handed him all of the plastic bags.
“Th-thank you.”
“Do you live far from here?”
“Eh? Yeah... J-just a few blocks...”
“Then you should be alright.”
“I-“ Kyungsoo paused. He was being very rude, wasn’t he? The male had helped him and he could at least do something to pay him back. “I’m sorry, I-I think I left my wallet in the office...but I’m gonna have to check it first. Oh God, I am so clumsy... I-I will pay you back as soon as I can...”
The taller male only stared when Kyungsoo shifted all of the bags into a hand and his other hand roamed freely on his own thighs and buttocks just to find the phone. He needed to call the guard in the office just to make sure.
“It’s okay. As long as you find your wallet.”
“B-but-“ Kyungsoo looked like he was about to cry any minute now. He was about to dump the content of his bag for the second time, this time onto the ground when the tanned male stopped him before he got the chance to.
“Calm down,” the male said as he pressed one of his palms against Kyungsoo’s left chest. “Are you looking for your phone? It’s here.”
In a normal situation, Kyungsoo would probably freak out for having a stranger pressing his hand on his chest. But they weren’t in a normal situation right now. Kyungsoo felt heat was creeping onto his cheeks and he casually took the phone out of his shirt’s pocket. But his embarrassment all soon faded and the emotions in his eyes dimmed when he spotted Chanyeol’s latest text.
I can’t tonight, Kyungsoo. I’m sorry.
Kyungsoo’s expression darkened.
“Is that your boyfriend the other night?”
Kyungsoo abruptly looked up to the tanned skin male.
He...he remembered me...?
“Y-yes,” Kyungsoo stammered nervously. Wait, why did he say yes? But-but of course, yes.
“Hm,” the male hummed. “What’s your name?”
“K-Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo immediately regretted it because maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t give his name to a stranger that he knew nothing about. But-but the stranger was nice and he helped him and he remembered him and he leaned forward to him and-and he what?? Kyungsoo automatically shut his eyes in fear when the other male leaned closer-
-only to find that he did nothing but to stroke his hair.
Kyungsoo fluttered his eyes open in uncertainty and caught the taller male staring at him.
“Give me your phone.”
“Huh?”
“Your phone.”
Kyungsoo obeyed.
The tanned male played with the phone momentarily before handing it back to him. Kyungsoo accepted in confusion and his eyes slightly widened at the newly registered number.
“Just in case you need someone to talk to.”
He smiled.
“Don’t worry, I’m free most of the time.”
With that, he turned around to walk to the opposite direction and waved his hand dismissively.
Kyungsoo’s lips slightly trembled as he looked down to his phone.
Kim Jongin.
Kyungsoo felt his heart skipping a beat.
Just like that night at the club.
***
Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.
But honestly, it was because he had no one to share with.
He still didn’t talk much with Chanyeol a week after his encounter with Jongin at the minimarket. His boyfriend still texted him, but it was really seldom that Kyungsoo could count how many texts he got with his finger. It wasn’t like they texted a lot, but after that night in the club, somehow their relationship felt even more different. Not forgetting to mention awkward.
There were times when Kyungsoo felt really down and confused and unsure and lost but no one was there for him.
Needless to say, the doe eyed male cried himself to sleep every night.
Chanyeol hadn’t contacted him in the following week and it was starting to make him sleepless. It saddened Kyungsoo so much that he was unable to concentrate at work. He was unable to focus and his work was messed up. It affected him a lot that his boss had even scolded his work and threatened to fire him if this kept going on. As if it wasn’t enough, his colleague-someone named Hyunsik-who he barely knew, confessed to him on the lunch break.
“I-I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo muttered bashly. “I have a boyfriend...”
“You do?” Hyunsik raised a brow. “Oh.”
The male said nothing more after that but Kyungsoo felt like he had just received a hard slap on his face. He didn’t know he have a boyfriend? Well, his relationship with Chanyeol hadn’t been that long, but...surely Hyunsik would know...
Kyungsoo deadpanned.
Chanyeol never even picked me up at work.
Which was probably why Hyunsik didn’t know that Kyungsoo was unavailable.
The feeling of wanting to ask what was wrong was huge that Kyungsoo almost couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to, no, he needed to talk to Chanyeol. He wanted to know what he had done wrong.
So Kyungsoo, determined to solve whatever it was that happened between them, dialed his boyfriend’s number the minute he signed out of his office and waited.
His heart dropped when the other line was turned off.
What...?
Kyungsoo’s calls went straight to voice mails no matter how much he tried. He finally gave up after the umpteenth attempt and sighed in frustration.
Is he...avoiding me?
Groaning, Kyungsoo tucked his phone rather harshly into his pocket and deadpanned when he accidentally saw the last dialed numbers. He rarely communicated to anyone, so his call logs probably never changed. It was still in the same order with the ones from weeks ago. Kyungsoo’s thumb hovered against his screen, as if wanting to wipe the number below Chanyeol’s.
Kim Jongin.
‘Just in case you need someone to talk to’.
Did he mean...this?
Kyungsoo shook his head roughly and puffed his cheeks. Instead of calling the newest contact, he stubbornly tried once again to reach his boyfriend and successfully failed. Chanyeol was still unreachable. Kyungsoo almost sobbed at the fact and helplessly pressed his fingers on the screen.
“Hello?”
Kyungsoo’s eyes widened and hastily brought the device to his ear. “Ch-Chanyeol???”
“No, this is Jongin.”
Kyungsoo froze. He must have dialed the wrong number-oh, stupid touch screen!! Kyungsoo went pale and glanced at his screen. It really wasn’t Chanyeol. It was really Jongin.
“...Kyungsoo?”
Kyungsoo gasped. How did he...? He chose not to answer and palmed his mouth, not knowing what to do. Should he end the call? Should he apologize? Should he...?
“Do you like bubble tea?”
It got Kyungsoo to blink questioningly. Bubble tea...? The first image that came to his mind was some kind of foamy drinks with tea flavor.
“Is it...,” Kyungsoo breathed. “Is it...good?”
“It’s sweet. Where are you right now?”
“I’m still-“ Kyungsoo looked around in confusion. “I’m still near my office...”
“I’ll meet you at the station?”
“Sure,” Kyungsoo replied and he immediately slapped a hand over his mouth. What the hell did he just say? “I-I mean-“
“Good. See you there.”
With that, Jongin hung up at the end of the line and Kyungsoo felt like pulling his hair away.
It was a mistake. What the hell did he just do? Jongin was a stranger. A handsome stranger. But he had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who ignores you.
Kyungsoo mentally berated himself and pressed his palms on his cheeks. He must have looked funny because a few people were starting to look his way. Kyungsoo shut his eyes and hung his head in shame.
What did you do, Do Kyungsoo...?
But...
There was something about the taller male that soothe him. The moment he heard Jongin’s voice, he felt utterly calmed, like everything was going to be alright. It was the same feeling with the one he had the other night when Jongin had helped him. Kyungsoo didn’t know if it was just that one time because he was confused...or because the gentle pat on his hair was extra comforting.
How long had it been since someone asked him what he liked...?
Besides, it wasn’t like Jongin would come.
The tanned male could be just toying around...
Fifteen minutes later, Kyungsoo arrived at the station. He scanned the place thoroughly and noticed that Jongin hadn’t arrived yet.
Kyungsoo was probably early...or late? Jongin never said at what time their meeting was... He deliberately sat on the nearest bench available with his legs crossed at the ankle. His phone was placed on his lap and Kyungsoo gave it a cold stare.
What if Jongin didn’t come?
Then it wasn’t a big deal. Then Kyungsoo could go home and spend the rest of his day weeping because by then, he would know that he was destined to be alone-because even a stranger refused to spend some time with him.
But what if Jongin did come?
“Kyungsoo.”
The said male looked up at the mention of his name and his jaw involuntarily dropped because of several reasons.
One, he knew that Jongin was handsome. The other day in the night club, the place was badly lit and the lighting was all dim so he wasn’t able to take a good look (and their accidental meeting at the minimarket was another prove that he was good looking). But now, under the bright light, Jongin looked extremely gorgeous. He had a shocking blond hair that went contrast with his skin color and yet he still looked good with it. The tall male was clad in jeans and oversize tee with a dark colored jacket.
Something grew within Kyungsoo and he was terrifed.
Why and what, he wasn’t sure.
Two, because Jongin really came.
“I thought you’d never call.”
It never occurred to him of what to do if Jongin came.
Kyungsoo felt awful. His chest tightened at the weird sensation and he was confused of what he had been feeling lately. To make it even worse, he was still in a relationship with Chanyeol. “I’m-I’m sorry, this is a mistake-“
“Hey,” Jongin said as he grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm. “We’re not doing anything.”
Kyungsoo was taken aback at the remark. Their eyes met and he could see the sincerity in the other male’s orbs. Jongin had a point. They did nothing. They were just...going to grab drinks, right? Kyungsoo reluctantly casted a glance down to his hands and nodded.
“Don’t be scared,” Jongin said softly. “So, shall we have that bubble tea?”
Kyungsoo stiffened. “Bubble tea...? O-oh. That...”
Jongin solemnly stared at him. “You’re scared to be seen with me in public.”
It amazed Kyungsoo to no end at the fact that they only met for five minutes and the taller male could already read his mind. “It-it’s not like that-“
Jongin patted Kyungsoo’s head caringly. “You can walk in front of me and we can pretend like we don’t know each other.”
Kyungsoo froze. “Wh-what...?”
“Come on, I’m thirsty,” Jongin swept his blond locks and playfully nudged Kyungsoo. “Don’t worry, I’m right behind you.”
Funny because Kyungsoo believed Jongin’s words as the other male broke into a kind smile.
Somehow, he felt safe.
[2]