It's almost time for therapy and after my discussion with Melissa on Monday, I have some things to talk to her about. I realized when I was talking with Melissa that I am afraid both of them will judge me if I start to gain weight, even if it is a result of eating healthy. I hate being judged. My eating actually has been doing far better than it ( Read more... )

I kind of realized today that I had really been holding myself back a lot up here in Lafayette. I didn't really realize it, I thought I didn't have friends because I didn't know anyone and because I was sick all of the time but I think that more-so than that, I wasn't allowing myself to have friends because I feared if I got new "real" friends, I'd ( Read more... )

So, while I recognize that events can change things very quickly, as of right this minute, things seem to be going really well ( Read more... )

I haven't written in awhile again, I just haven't had much to say. Things are pretty much the same as they generally are ( Read more... )

It's been awhile since I have written. Things haven't been particularly good or particularly bad lately, they have just been as they are. My parents are up to their stupid games again which is annoying but I am just trying to ignore it for now. Apparently it is coming off as distant to people though. It was first called to my attention by an online ( Read more... )

"What's happening for you right now ( Read more... )

It's been almost eleven months since I left Vision of Hope, it will be eleven months on June eleventh and even though I know in my heart that there were some very unhealthy aspects to it and I know that even if I would have graduated the program I would have just been delaying the inevitable, I still miss it at times. H just posted something that ( Read more... )

See, the thing is I was supposed to get my period roughly around the 4th but it certainly isn't always on schedule but I kept feeling like I was going to start during that time and for a few days after and then again a few days ago I just kept feeling like I was going to start. So anyways, I still haven't started. However, I recognize that the ( Read more... )

Day two of completely normal eating! I am very, very determined that I will be able to tell Melissa (dietitian) that I went three entire days without bingeing or purging at all. Not because I am going to try to convince her I am fine but just so that she can see I am working hard.

Beverly had to change our meeting time for next week because she is going out of town on Thursday and Friday (ironic that so am I but I am not leaving until Thursday afternoon). So anyways, we were going to change counseling to Wednesday, she looks at her calendar and says, "oh no, we can't do Wednesday." A little puzzled I just kind of look at her ( Read more... )