This morning I am being treated to a Chorus of Idiots. The neighbors have a dog. It's a small dog. It's a yappy dog. It's the kind of dog that inspires thoughts of field goals, falling safes, and street rollers ( Read more... )

I normally sleep until 8:00 or 9:00 in the morning, so the cacophony outside my bedroom window that ripped me from my dreams at 6:00 was not at all welcomed. I was dreaming about women Cylons trying to seduce me for my sperm. I need to stop watching three BSGs in a row with a bottle of scotch before bed ( Read more... )

I was out at my favorite bar this evening before the crowds took it over and made it unbearable. I don't go out to bars to smell sweaty frat boys trying to force their musk on overly-perfumed chicks who are just teasing boys' cocks until the the boys are willing to buy the girls all the drinks their parents' credit cards can afford ( Read more... )

Michelle hasn't called me in weeks. Four weeks and no call, no email, no random encounters at our favorite bar or coffee shop. It's like she fell off the face of the Earth, taking my self-esteem with her ( Read more... )

I woke up this morning still drunk and a little hazy and I should probably go back to bed. But the room is steamy because of a bad radiator that is way too hot. It's like a sauna in there. I woke up with the sheets wet and my breathing heavy and I probably would have gotten out of bed sooner if I hadn't downed a half a bottle of scotch last ( Read more... )

I went out last night right before closing time to chat with my favorite bartender at my favorite bar. When I walked up to the bar, he poured me a double of my favorite whiskey and nodded to one corner of the bar. I saw a twenty-something huddled on a barstool behind the pool table counting bills solemnly ( Read more... )

I was talking to my Uncle Dave the other day. After a few shots of whiskey, he gets really chatty ( Read more... )

I was deep in a number-crunching trance this morning at work when one of the ladies tapped me on the shoulder. Blinking and stunned from being pulled out of my calculation mediation, I looked up to see Barbara, one of the bartenders. She had a look of concern and fear, which was not that uncommon for her, being wound far too tightly to work in a ( Read more... )

I ate out this evening. I went to a decent place downtown. As with most Ithaca restaurants, the food was probably more expensive than it needed to be, but my waiter was attentive without being annoying, the drinks from the bar were strong, and the food was tasty. Sadly, the ambiance was disrupted by a fellow diner ( Read more... )

There was a lady today who caught my eye. It was not because she was beautiful, since I would know one way or another as she was wearing a long coat, dark glasses, and a scarf. It wasn't because of her clothes, since said coat, glasses, and scarf made her look like a secret agent Michelin Man trying to be incognito. It wasn't because she was ( Read more... )