well i would like ot thank jen for giving me the names of some of my old favorite 90's alternative rock songs. Well i called my dad and he told me he fucked up again and didnt send the money wedensday, i couldnt really ridicule him because he was feeling so sorry for himself and for messing up again. i felt bad for him cause i know hes alot like me ( Read more... )

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well my dad told me yesterday that he was sending me 1k for a car, now to the average person this might sound like a good thing...wrong. this only brings problems in my mind. one he might not send it then im dissapointed in him and pissed off and got my hopes up for no reason. two i cant think of a car i can get for 1k that i will like, or that ( Read more... )

i cant stand living in this house any more, my parents are fucking dumb somtimes, billy especially. i cant handle this crap, im all fucked up in my head, if i hear my parents arguing i start thinking about billy hitting my mom and what i would do about it, which usually comes to me just getting scared and not doing much, i would like to think i ( Read more... )

well today at the gym i got a 9 min mile (probably lower but i pushed the machine past nine so it paused it) then i went to the lake with ryan and got some awesome pictures some with the sunrise and shit. blah i shaved my head today mach3 style biotch lol. im pretty much done for now see ya.

well today i dont think ill make it to the gym as much as i want to, i had to talk to my dad about money today, i hate doing that he seems so hurt when he cant give me anything, then i get my mom and everyone else in my family talking about how he should have money and he just isnt giving us any and hes not paying the child support and all this, i ( Read more... )

last night i had a dream, it was a pretty awesome dream....a girl i know and me were hanging out with a friend of mine and then she kissed me, in the dream it was her first kiss, but i think this girl i think it was has kissed a guy before, but it was really cool though, we kissed a few more times it was really powerful really really really good

omfg i feel so good about myself right now, i went to the gym benched 145 or somthin, thats not insane-a-great but i could only do like 135 last time so im getting better, i ran a 9 min and 30 second mile (more or less i cant recall exactly) which for those who dont know (of the two people that can read this and they both know) im fat and i dont ( Read more... )

blah @ life. heres the situation: i need money for a car and accessories similar to that. to get that i need a job, to get a job i need balls and self confidence, i have neither for a situation like this. i have a huge fear of messing up, it increases when the possibility that somone could see me fuck up or get mad cause i fucked up, it gets even ( Read more... )

woot drinkin the wine coooooler! cause it makes you cooler! damn fuzzy navels. whatever its pretty good. im gonna go to sleep soon i just wanted to write in here for some reason. i wonder what happens if the website these posts are stored on goes down for good, what happens to everyones journals?